After receiving the squad leader's name, both Naruto and the "Minato" clone stood frozen in place, their minds short-circuiting.
"…No way. It can't be that Ibiki."
Mouth twitching, "Minato" instinctively reached up to tug at his cheek—was he dreaming? But remembering how fragile his current shadow clone body was, he wisely decided against it. Instead, he turned his head slightly and whispered to his clone counterpart in a hushed tone.
"We're screwed. That's Morino Ibiki, the chief examiner for the first stage of the Chūnin Exams… I'm pretty sure in the original series, Naruto never met him before the test."
"And why are you telling me this?! You're the one who stuck his nose where it didn't belong and saved someone important again, dammit!"
Naruto rolled his eyes hard enough to sprain something, keeping his voice low to avoid alerting the very Ibiki they were gossiping about.
"We just had Orochimaru show up early last night, throwing off the entire timeline. The main body finally decided to stick to canon and avoid derailing things too much. But you! You went and let Naruto meet Ibiki early! Just how are you planning to explain that to the original?"
"Hey, don't blame me! The guy was seconds from dying. There was no time to overthink it!"
"Minato" flinched, his voice growing smaller and guiltier. But then he suddenly straightened up, hands on hips, and declared confidently:
"No, even if I had known he was Morino Ibiki beforehand, I still would've saved him!"
"…Oh? So now you're proud of yourself?"
"Look, if I'd let him die, that would've changed the future way more than meeting him early! He's the proctor for the first stage—if he dies, the whole test structure has to change!"
Having found solid moral ground to stand on, "Minato" regained his composure, his guilty awkwardness morphing into a gentle smile identical to the real Minato's. He reached out, ruffling the annoyed Naruto clone's hair.
"That meddling streak we inherited from the main body... we just can't walk away from someone who needs help. Turning our backs on someone dying right in front of us—that's not what heroes do. Right, Naruto?"
"…Tch. I guess that logic works. Barely."
Naruto had opened his mouth to argue again, but the moment that hand hit his head, all his complaints deflated like a balloon. With a huff, he swatted the hand away and turned his head with a sulky grumble.
"Tch. And now you remember to act all fatherly, huh? Doesn't it feel gross, patting your own head like that?"
"Well, yeah, it's weird. But it's also the fastest and most effective way to calm you down."
"Minato" chuckled as he withdrew his hand. He paused just long enough to swallow back the laughter that threatened to bubble up at Naruto's tsundere face before speaking again in a low, gentle tone.
"We both know—even if we're just shadow clones pretending to be Uzumaki Naruto—deep down, the original still longs for comfort and praise from his dad. Even if… this is all just a lie."
"…God, you talk so much."
Naruto clicked his tongue and turned away completely, folding his arms.
But in his palm—seemingly appearing from nowhere—was a familiar, three-pronged kunai.
He clutched it tighter.
"…You're just a clone like me. Where the hell do you get off making speeches like that…"
"Well, can't help it. I'm playing the dad, after all."
...
Meanwhile, back in the village, the real Naruto was still seated for the academy entrance exam—but clearly distracted.
"Tch. Someone really did try to infiltrate the village at a time like this…"
'Eyes closed, he absorbed the memories transferred from the clone impersonating his father. His thoughts spun like a machine, processing every detail with lightning precision.'
'Four people. No forehead protectors. Full cloaks. No visible features. One of them uses Lightning Release… but that doesn't narrow it down. It's not like Lightning-style is exclusive to one village. Just like how none of the Seven Hokage, from Hashirama to me, specialized in Fire-style even though we're from the Land of Fire…'
'If anything, going by elements, I should've been the Kazekage instead.'
He snorted internally.
Still, even weakened, his Rasengan hadn't managed to down one of them.
'That meant these guys were strong.'
Very strong.
Naruto had felt it through the transferred memory—that bizarre sensation when the Rasengan hit Number Two, like it was slamming into reinforced steel.
'Orochimaru cleared out the border patrol yesterday, and today we've got these guys poking around from another side? No way that's a coincidence.'
'Sure, we scared them off—for now. But no way they'll give up so easily. Not if they were ordered to infiltrate by someone with real power. They'll come back. That I'm sure of.'
He had already relayed everything to Hiruzen via another clone stationed at the Hokage Office.
'No way these guys are just rogue nin or bandits. And they're definitely not strong enough to be Akatsuki. Most likely they're an elite squad secretly dispatched by another village.'
And Naruto?
He was still just a kid.
This kind of delicate diplomatic mess? He'd happily dump it on the old man's desk.
'I've got enough problems.'
Unfortunately, Naruto didn't know what had happened after the memories cut off—he only knew the moment the enemy ran. He had no idea a second clone had shown up. No idea that clone had reattached Ibiki's tongue. No idea just how important the person he'd saved was.
[In the original, Ibiki was subjected to brutal torture as a prisoner. Maybe… just maybe, it was this moment—this pain, this trauma—that forged the iron will he's known for in the future.]
Had Naruto known who he'd saved… he probably would've collapsed on the spot like his clone.
'Well… the clone should've been reinforced by now. As long as he gets Ibiki to the hospital immediately, he should pull through.'
Naruto mentally constructed a rough 3D map of the village and its surrounding terrain. He calculated the distance to the nearest hospital and gauged how long Ibiki could hold on.
The result was—barely, but enough.
He exhaled in relief and finally let his thoughts return to the present.
'That brings me to the real problem… Should we continue the exam as planned, or come up with an excuse to end it early?'
Given the situation, the village was vulnerable. Most attention was concentrated in this one place. It was a perfect smokescreen for enemy agents to slip through.
Worse, if things escalated, the gathered crowd could become easy hostages—or worse.
Just a few explosive tags thrown into the center…
'No. I can't let that happen.'
He had planned to use this round of testing to eliminate dead weight and find hidden talents. But now…
It felt like a liability.
'Still… what the hell am I supposed to say? "Bad guys might come, so go home?" Please. After the first two rounds of trick questions, they'd probably just think it's another secret test.'
"Hey! Naruto? NARUTO?! Uzumaki! Na. Ru. To!"
A shrill voice snapped him out of his thoughts.
"Huh?! I—I'm here! I'm totally here! What? What's up?!"
As his vision refocused, he was greeted by the sight of a very puffy, very pouty face inches from his own—Sasuke, eyebrows furrowed in pure murder mode, scowling with dramatic indignation.
Naruto awkwardly averted his gaze, guilt gnawing at his insides.
And just beyond Sasuke—
Naruto was kneeling.
On both knees.
Like a misbehaving husband begging for forgiveness.
"…S-So, uh… what was it again, Sasuke?"
"Repeat what I just said."
"…Uhhhh… well, you see—"
"You weren't listening. You were completely spacing out, weren't you?!"
"N-no! I mean—yes! I mean—it's not what it looks like, Sasuke, I had a reason—"
"I. Don't. Want. To. Hear. It. Straighten your back! Kneel properly!"
"…Yes, sir…"
"Louder!"
"YES, SIR!!"
Honestly, at this point, Naruto had more urgent things to worry about than the enemy possibly sneaking into the village…
Like figuring out how to stand back up again.
Preferably before Hinata—who had been standing quietly nearby this whole time—started giving him that look.
Yup. The one that said:
'Is this some kind of newlywed domestic fight… or do I need to call a medic?'
Really, the only thing missing from this scene was a washboard under his knees.
Wait.
Was there something else weird going on here…?
Something besides the whole atmosphere…?