( The following section includes scenes that may be distressing to some readers, including non-consensual behavior and substance use.)
It was getting light outside.
I was sitting in James's house with the rest of the group. I'd been tricked— they told me it would just be the six of us, but ten more people showed up.
Throughout the entire party, I sat on the couch, lost in thought, thinking about everything and nothing.
Everyone was basically drunk, passed out in corners or in beds with random people. Even Jeremy drank too much— which I honestly didn't expect from him.
I'm turning eighteen soon, and life in Willow Hollow is starting to wear me down.
Not because I'm invisible— but because I don't belong here.
Even though I still have a shred of humanity left in me, I feel it slowly slipping away.
Like I'm becoming less and less human.
Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice the used condom on the floor and stepped right on it.
"Gross," I whispered to myself.
I quickly took off my shoe and walked into a room, thinking it would be empty. I was wrong— Ryan was there, sleeping and snoring loudly.
The room was small, messy, and smelled like old socks mixed with cheap deodorant.
Near the bed Ryan was on, there was a window with a full view of the sky.
The small clouds floating in the bright blue sky made me feel a strange kind of longing— for something I couldn't quite name.
"Mike?"
I turned away from the window. Ryan was staring at me with a blank look in his eyes.
Even from a distance, I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I hate that smell.
"It's already morning," I said.
"Shit," he groaned, holding his head. "Can you hand me that water?"
He pointed at a bottle lying near the bed. Without thinking, I went to grab it. I picked it up and was just about to give it to him when he suddenly pulled me into a hug and held me tightly against him.
"What are you doing, let me go?!" I shouted.
He didn't listen—he licked my ear, leaving behind a sticky, disgusting fluid.
"I've wanted you for two years... please, it'll be our little secret," he whispered, ignoring me and how hard I was trying to fight him off.
He threw me down and started reaching for my pants, but at the last second, I kicked him in the groin and managed to escape.
He doubled over in pain.
Ryan was still drunk and didn't immediately realize I'd slipped out of his grip.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" I said.
"It was just a joke, Mike! You're overreacting. I have a girlfriend," he tried to explain.
I stared at him, wide-eyed, still trying to process what had just happened.
"Mike, please…don't tell anyone about this," he begged, hands clasped together.
I lowered my head and quickly walked out of the room, slamming the door behind me.
***
Cassie turned back and immediately ran up to the guy, jumping on him.
I slowly turned around to see who it was.
My breath caught in my chest when I saw the familiar face.
It was Ryan.
Cassie turned around and immediately ran toward a guy, jumping into his arms.
I turned slowly to see who it was.
My breath caught in my chest when I recognized the familiar face.
It was Ryan.
When he noticed me, his eyes went wide in shock—he couldn't believe I was here.
Cassie came over with him and introduced him as… her boyfriend.
"Ryan, this is our new model, Mike," she said happily.
I looked down, avoiding his eyes. He did the same.
"Do you two know each other or something?" she asked.
Ryan quickly jumped in.
"We're… good friends."
Cassie glanced at both of us, clearly picking up on the weird tension.
"Small world, huh?" she said seriously.
"Yeah," I replied.
"Maybe we should get something to drink—coffee?" Cassie offered.
"I don't drink coffee," I said.
"I'd love some," Ryan answered after swallowing hard.
She walked over to the coffee machine.
An awkward silence fell between us.
"So… what are you doing here?" he asked.
"I could ask you the same thing."
"Umm… my dad is one of the founders of this agency."
Everything felt wrong. He could say anything about me—make up lies, twist the truth, get me kicked out just to stop me from escaping Willow Hollow.
What if he already had?
What if it was already over for me and they'd show up any minute to tell me not to come back tomorrow?
I'd go home ashamed, with my tail between my legs, and my mom would be disappointed.
"James will be here in a moment," he interrupted my spiraling thoughts.
"What?" I answered, shocked.
"Yeah... he got the info way earlier that an agency was opening here, and he wants to ask about a spot for Mary," he said, rubbing his head. "He's gonna be shocked when he sees you here."
Maybe I should get out of here quickly or hide. He probably won't stay long. He'll come, ask about a spot, and leave just as fast.
A cramp hit my right leg, but I didn't show any reaction — didn't want anyone to notice.
***
I waited for the makeup artist in my own dressing room. They told me my skin needed to shine and be pale as a wall.
I kept wondering whether James had already come and gone — hoping he had, and that he wasn't still out in the hallway.
Suddenly, my stomach growled.
"Shit," I whispered to myself. I needed to eat something or I'd explode. Hopefully I wouldn't be here too long. They told me today's shoot would only last two hours, but I was surprised they took me in right away without even "testing" if I was fit for this.
Shit, I repeated in my head.
"Nice to see you, Mike."
I heard a voice behind me.
Suddenly, the air left my lungs, and my mouth went dry like a desert. I couldn't move — like someone had tied me up and gagged me.
"Mike, don't you recognize me?"
I was afraid to look in the mirror. My back slouched into a hunch. I didn't even need to look to know it was James — but who let him in here? Why was he allowed to come in?
"Models don't slouch. Sit up straight," he said. He took one big step forward. My mouth was still dry. A moment later, he took another step until he reached the chair I was sitting on.
I need to text Malachai. Right now.
I reached for my phone, but he grabbed it first.
He turned the chair toward him. Slowly, he leaned down to look at my face.
"I didn't know you were playing model," he said with a hint of sarcasm.
"Because I'm not," I replied.
I noticed his pupils were dilated.
"Are you on drugs?" I asked.
"Maybe. I have one more question for you," he began. "We haven't seen each other in a while." He touched my sweatshirt. "Why?"
I nodded and looked at his lips.
"Why what?"
"Why haven't we seen each other? I missed you, you know?" He licked his lips and smiled. "You weren't replying to my messages, and I started to worry if everything was okay. Maybe... I don't know, you did something to yourself, there are cases..."
"What are you doing here?" I interrupted him.
"I came here to... see you."
"Don't lie," I replied immediately. "Ryan told me..."
"Ryan is a liar, I don't know why you're listening to him," he said. "Look into my eyes."
I didn't want to. I wanted to end this session and go home. Time was passing too slowly, too slowly. I felt the atmosphere grow increasingly icy. A chill ran through me.
"Look how I'm talking to you," he grabbed my chin and pressed it to his face. "Let me tell you, you're not so pretty up close." My eyes widened. "I'm saying this as a friend, I want to protect you, but you won't let me protect you and help you."
"You'll let me go," I said, my voice rising. I surprised myself because I'd never said that to him.
"I'd be careful if I were you."
"Are you threatening me?"
Suddenly, I felt something sticky and disgusting on my face and wanted to wash it off immediately. It was his saliva. I felt a surge of strength and wanted to do the same to him, but I decided to slap him.
I saw anger on his face.
"I'll remember this," he said aggressively. Then his lips touched mine. I didn't know what was happening or how it happened. I pulled him away from my mouth. He looked at my pants. I looked down, where he was staring. My penis… It was erect.
"Someone here wants more than just a kiss," he said.
"No," I replied firmly. I don't know why I have an erection. I reassured myself that it would surely disappear soon.
"Are you sure? Maybe we should check it another way, together?"
He moved closer to me again, intending to kiss me.
When he tried to touch my lips again, I pushed him away.
After a moment, I replied firmly:
"I am."
I picked up a piece of paper from the desk where my reflection was in the mirror and wiped his saliva off my face.
"We'll see just how sure."
"Give me back my phone."
He rolled his eyes.
"Here." I thought he'd try some trick and not give it back, but that didn't happen—on the contrary, he handed it over right away.
He stood up. He looked at me with anger and walked toward the door.
He had already grabbed the handle and was about to turn back to me when I said:
"Don't text me again," I swallowed the saliva that had gathered right after the kiss.
He didn't say a word.
I saw in the reflection that the anger on his face had turned into pure indifference.
He left me without a final word.
I exhaled through my nose. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt an unfamiliar sense of power.
What had just happened felt unreal, and what confused me most was that I had actually said that to him.
I smiled to myself.
"Sorry I was gone so long, I had to use the bathroom…" I hadn't noticed the makeup artist come into the dressing room. I didn't even know when she got there.
"Who was that boy?" she asked me.
"Ummm… my friend. I think."
"Are you sure?"
"No."
"So who is he?"
Silence fell. I answered after a brief pause:
"Nobody."