It was just after three o'clock and Belinda continued to toss and turn in bed, unable to sleep. Before going to bed, she had talked to Naomi, who had told her that she had caught Ingrid hugging Tom and that he had given her no explanation as to why.
"He didn't say anything to me, he just stood there staring at me and asking me what I wanted!" Naomi had said to her in tears. "What a heartless asshole!"
Belinda had tried to tell her that Tom hadn't seemed in top form either, but her sister had interrupted her, telling her not to defend him and that she would make him pay.
She sighed, hoping the headache tormenting her would pass, and threw open the window to let in a bit of the cool night air. She pulled on long pants and a zip-up T-shirt and, climbing out the window as usual, went outside to graze the cool, damp grass of the garden with her feet, relishing the sensation that simple action gave her.
Suddenly, she sensed movement beside the bush, and after a few moments, Tom appeared, a bottle of beer in his hand.
"Hey, aren't you sleepy either?"
Belinda looked at him in surprise. "What the hell are you doing out here at this hour?"
"What you do, my dear woodland fairy."
"And you're drinking too," she scolded, looking at the bottle.
"See, mein schatz, this is like fairy dust: it helps erase bad memories." He raised the bottle in an imaginary toast.
"If only that were enough..." Belinda muttered, sitting on the ground and crossing her legs.
"Try!" he invited, squatting down and taking another beer from a box in his hand.
"Tom, you're drunk!" she protested, taking the bottle anyway.
He yawned, patting her on the shoulder. "Not enough. I still hear voices and thoughts buzzing in my head."
Belinda took a sip of beer. "What do you have to forget?"
"That girls like your sister exist," she muttered. "I wonder: Germany is so big... why did you stop right where we were?"
"Yeah, I wonder too..." the girl murmured. "If that stubborn girl hadn't been so obsessed with your damned concert, I'd be home long ago and would have already decided what to do with my life."
"But couldn't you have insisted more firmly? Couldn't you have continued straight to your destination?" he continued, following his thoughts. "No, fate wanted you to come to the concert, right?"
"I'd say it was more Naomi's fault than fate's," Belinda corrected. "I had so hoped she wouldn't find tickets, but that girl is incredibly lucky. After the concert, though, it was all your fault."
"Ours? You came looking for us in the dressing room. Who ever called you?"
"And why did you give us passes for the next day?"
Tom clinked the bottles in a toast. "Bill's fault!"
"I remember differently…"
"You're remembering wrong!" he dismissed her annoyed. "You've brought nothing but misfortune since you arrived. And all that batting of eyelids when she sees me... Your sister's a witch!"
"I agree! But your brother was also showing off like a peacock, urging us to stay."
"Bill's an idiot!" Tom stated. "How did you fall in love with him?"
"I must not be that smart either." Belinda snorted, the beer beginning to relax. "But you were smart too, huh? Did you have to get lost right behind Naomi? I told you she'd turn you inside out, you idiot!"
"I don't..." Tom's gaze drifted into space. "Have you ever looked at her properly? Sometimes his eyes have the power to glue you to the ground, and you're there, like a fool, waiting for him to speak, and you wish the enchantment would never end."
Belinda turned to look at him. "How much have you drunk, Tom?"
"Not enough yet," he murmured, putting the empty bottle aside. "Do you want another?"
"Yes, I can't be any worse than this." He grabbed the bottle and toasted, clinking it against the boy's. "I wish I could sleep for weeks."
"If it mattered..." Tom snorted dejectedly. "You'll have to wake up sooner or later anyway... I wonder how we got this far."
"I don't know. By the time I realized how I felt about Bill, I'd already ruined everything!" The girl sighed, leaning her head against the wall.
Tom turned to look at her and lowered his voice. "Have you ever been tempted to choose me?"
"I could ask you the same question. Why didn't you try?"
"I have a feeling we would have made sparks together." Tom laughed. "It might not have been idyllic, but I'm sure we'd at least have fireworks at night."
"You're deluded! You talk too much for my taste and you're always bragging about your conquests. I'd hate being part of a harem!"
"To be honest, as much as I like you, you'd have been too tough for me. But she... makes me feel so... special."
Belinda giggled and nudged him. "Puppy!"
"Let's talk about my brilliant brother instead: how's he in bed?" he asked ironically.
"It's none of your business, Tom!"
"Oh, I knew it: he's terrible at that, too." He burst out laughing. "And to think I thought you were the type who wasn't easily satisfied... How have you managed to handle it so far?"
"As much as it would do me good to put him down, it would be a useless lie," Belinda whispered. "Bill is… Damn you, Tom! I don't want to think about it, okay?"
"Maybe because it really sucked?" he pressed, laughing.
"It was wonderful, okay?" Belinda blurted out, blushing. "Now stop meddling!"
"If that were the case, you wouldn't be here wondering if what you did was right! I know very well how difficult it is to make a decision like that. Why do you think I'm drinking? I don't even like beer!"
Belinda tilted her head to look at the sky. "I can't handle a situation like this. Maybe it's not the right decision, but I'm leaving precisely because I love him."
"That's a twisted argument. If you really love him, why leave?"
"You don't understand…"
"Yeah! Anyone who understands you women is good!" He drained the remaining water from the bottle and put it away. "You get angry for no reason, you don't stop to listen to explanations, and you still think you understand everything!"
"Are you talking about my sister, by any chance?"
"What was I supposed to tell her? That Ingrid hugged me because I promised to tell Kristian about her? She's liked her for a long time, but she never dared to try, and I stalled because Annalisa's here now, and I didn't want to hurt her. I don't even know what's going on between the two of them… I'm such a hopeless idiot!"
"How tactful! You don't seem to have such a sensitive soul… Couldn't you have said it right away?"
Tom sighed. "To who? To Naomi, who looked at me like the ice queen and slammed the door in my face? Do you think she stops to listen to others when she's convinced she's right? She made me feel like a worm!"
"She's a lot like someone I know…" Belinda muttered. "Just like Bill, who thinks he always knows what's best for others or what might happen tomorrow. Damn the Kellar twins!"
"Ditto the Taddei sisters!" he agreed. "You know, I don't think I'm going on a tour of Italy."
"And you'd miss out on the good things in life! You Germans are too sterile, starched, cold, perfect... a real pain!"
"And you Italians, you're too noisy, too annoying, and… damn, I can't stand it! I just can't stand you."
"Admit that we've won you over! And that I'm absolutely in love! You have no idea how good it makes me feel to see you like this: it's comforting… My God, Tom, you're a sight!"
"Go to hell, Bel!" he exclaimed, giving her a shove and sending her tumbling, bursting into laughter.
"Go away, both of you, and let me sleep!" Naomi exclaimed, emptying a bottle of ice-cold water over their heads and slamming the window.
The two boys, soaked and dazed, continued laughing for a few minutes, lying on the damp grass, staring at the star-studded night sky.
In the shadows of his room, behind the closed shutters, Bill also let out a sad smile. He had been listening to the entire conversation against his will, and his heart tightened with loneliness. He couldn't say whether he envied the two boys for that intimate exchange of their feelings or Belinda's tone, speaking of him that way, but he had suddenly felt alone.
He listened to his brother encouraging Belinda to get up and followed the sound of their footsteps as they moved away, until they faded away, and then he returned to bed.