Life can't be as good as they say.
No, come back, Hokage; it'll be a great idea, we need you; without you, the village will be destroyed by two old men who need to masturbate to feel young.
And when that happens, BAM, two five-hour meetings in a row.
Right now, I'd like to have Minato strangle me to find out if there's anything beyond death.
"Hokage-sama, did you hear what we were saying?" the chunin asked.
We were just in a meeting discussing the reforms for promotions at each ninja rank, from genin, chunin, special jonin, jonin, and finally elite jonin.
"Oh?" I said simply, snapping back to reality. "To be honest, no."
"Where did you leave off?" he asked, looking pitifully.
"Since discussing the three jutsus from the academy," I replied, settling back in my chair.
"But that's from the beginning, which was an hour and a half ago," complained a jonin who wasn't far away.
"Seriously, how time flies," I commented, glancing at my watch and seeing that it had indeed been about an hour and a half since I last checked.
"We'll have to start all over again, since our Hokage can't afford to be caught in any gaps in the information," the chunin announced, his eye twitching as he raised a glass of water to soothe his cracking throat.
"I can't believe it," I heard someone groan.
"It's been over four hours here," I heard another say.
"My wife is going to kill me," the groans continued.
What could I do? It wasn't my fault the meetings were so boring that my mind wandered and I didn't hear anything they were saying.
...
"I'm home!" I exclaimed when I arrived after the infernal meeting.
"Welcome home, Mom," a child's voice called out, and he peeked out. He had short black hair and black eyes; this was Yami, about four years old.
"You're finally here, Mom," I heard as a red flash of light hit me and hugged me.
This was Hikari, a red-haired girl with blue eyes.
"Red, black, hmmm, I'm missing a blondie. Where's Naruto?" I asked, noticing I was missing a kid.
"On the couch," Yami told me simply.
I looked around the living room and saw a blond boy with somewhat long hair fast asleep on the couch.
I snapped my fingers to wake him, but nothing.
I looked at Yami; instinctively, he looked away. I glared at Hikari, who got scared and tried to shrink into herself.
"It was Yami; it's all his fault. He broke into your lab and drugged Naruto; I had nothing to do with it. " Hikari had no problem blaming her sister.
"Traitor!" Yami exclaimed, lunging at her sister and starting to fight.
I think I saw Yami's face get slashed, leaving it red, while Hikari's nose bled.
I simply ignored them, since kids' problems are solved by kids.
I looked at Naruto and, using medical ninjutsu, examined him. Knowing he has the Nine-Tails' chakra, this kind of thing shouldn't happen, so I was doing this mostly to see what Yami had given him.
After examining him and seeing that he'd been given a large amount of anesthetic, enough to put a whale to sleep, I calmed down.
I dissolved some of the drug in Naruto's system so he would wake up as quickly as possible, only to look back at my two sons who were still fighting.
I simply snapped my fingers with chakra, as if to summon the inner demons, which stopped them in their tracks and made them kneel beside each other, still, silently awaiting my lecture.
"Putting aside how you managed to break into my lab and steal from me, I'd like to know why you did it," I asked curiously.
"I'm bored," he explained, looking away from my eyes. "I have to put up with Naruto, whether he's asking for a fight, training him, or playing with him; I can't have a moment's peace without him glued to my side."
Hearing that, I just sighed.
"Yami, remember that Naruto sees you as his older brother, a guide, someone he wants to become. I know you want some time for yourself, but this isn't the way; you could have asked his sister for help, just like you did when you stole from my lab so you could be with Naruto," I explained.
Upon learning of Hikari's involvement in the theft, she tried to curl up into a ball when she realized I knew she was also involved.
Before I could finish speaking, Yami lowered his head in shame.
"I know you're very capable, but there are things in life you can't always do alone; it's not wrong to ask for help, especially from family, understand?"
"I understand, Mother," Yami said, a little embarrassed.
I sighed again. Saying things I've never done or would never do is complicated; it makes me seem hypocritical. But it's my duty as a mother to be as hypocritical as I want, because in the hierarchy, my word is law, and if anyone doubts it...
"Well, as punishment for drugging Naruto and stealing from my lab, I'll triple the difficulty of your weekend training," I decreed, which made Yami tense up, and then, as if accepting her fate, she simply surrendered.
"And you," I said, making Hikari start trembling with fear. "For being an accomplice in all of this, your weekend training will be doubled in difficulty."
"But Mother, have mercy," Hikari begged, grabbing my feet as crocodile tears streamed from her eyes.
I just ignored her, flicking my foot and sending her flying into an armchair, which let out a groan from the impact.
"Life is unfair," Hikari complained.
Yami just clicked his tongue, looking at his sister disapprovingly, since his punishment was worse than hers and he wasn't complaining like she was.
"I don't know how I raised you to be talking like an old man," I said, going to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. Unfortunately for me, I'd brought work home and had to finish it.
...
Looking at the budget I had to prepare and the progress I'd made toward my goal, I could only grumble inwardly.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Hokage?" Shikaku asked, engrossed in a top-secret file.
"Yes, there are no good or bad ideas, only ideas; labeling them is propaganda from enemy countries," I replied, barely paying attention to what Shikaku was saying, as my objective was to finish this as quickly as possible for my trip to the hot springs.
"Clearly, your comments are highly subjective, and to be honest, I would support you in any way. Currently, thanks to the pressure you alone can exert, it's more than enough to justify taking risks, even if things go wrong," he began, and I only nodded, half-listening. "But stealing a tailed beast from another village is something no Hokage would have ever considered before."
"So, can I be proud of being the first person to have such a good idea or not?" I said.
"Didn't you just say that labeling ideas was enemy propaganda?" Shikaku asked incredulously.
"I don't recall saying anything like that," he replied quickly.
The Jonin commander could only rub his temples, his head aching from the conversation.
"Who else knows about this plan?" he asked.
"You, the Anbu commander, trusted the Anbu and me," I told him, to which he nodded.
"And you're planning to go with so few men, since the Anbu commander and I have to stay in the village?" he asked.
"I was planning to go there with three trusted Anbu and take Root ninjas, since they have a seal on their tongues, so if they're captured, they won't be able to say anything," I explained.
"Root Ninjas? That organization of Danzo's?" Shikaku asked doubtfully.
"Exactly," I replied, setting the stack of documents aside and grabbing another equally large one to continue the review.
"Will he obey you?" the jōnin commander asked.
"He will," I declared.
"Why are you so sure?" he questioned.
"Simple. I'm the acting Hokage, period. Refusing direct orders from your military leader is considered treason, so any excuse about 'for the good of Konoha' won't hold water," I explained.
Shikaku stared for a moment, a mixture of apprehension and pride on his face, before shaking his head.
"Since when has there been a law like this in Konoha?" he complained.
"From now on," I replied, signing and stamping a document that contained exactly what I'd said, practically shoving it in Shikaku's face.
Upon seeing the document, he could only sigh.
"Problematic women."
...
I caught a glimpse of Yami collapsing to the ground, utterly broken. He was so exhausted and shattered he couldn't utter a word.
"Get up," I roared at him.
Slowly, Yami rose and picked up the toy sword again.
"Get into position," I ordered.
Yami scrambled into an offensive stance and lunged at me.
"Too direct," I corrected, striking his leg with a bokken, then moving aside to strike his sword. "You're leaving yourself vulnerable; if you're tired and an enemy attacks, you don't wait to recover—they'll just kill you."
I was direct and harsh with him. I'm usually not this severe with Yami, but this was his punishment for stealing from me and drugging Naruto.
Yami fell to the ground again.
"Get up," I told him, and he did.
I saw a mixture of exhaustion and frustration in his eyes; I just smiled at this, knowing that Yami was pushing himself too hard. This was because he was already aware of who I was, and other people were putting ideas in his head, not to mention he didn't want to look bad in front of Hikari and Naruto.
But I had to teach him a lesson: there are things he can't do, no matter how hard he tries, and he needed to learn that it was okay.
"Attack," I ordered, and Yami lunged forward again, this time attempting a feint.
Despite my best efforts, I only had to jump and, spinning in the air, strike him in the cheek, sending him flying and leaving him motionless on the ground.
"Let's finish this for today," I said, looking at Hikari lying on the ground, leaning on a tired Naruto who noticed me. "Both of us."
"Yes, ma'am," the two Uzumaki brothers said, standing in military formation and sitting down in front of me, settling into their most comfortable positions.
I glanced at Yami, who still wasn't moving. I went over to him and began healing him slowly using medical ninjutsu. After a few seconds, I heard Yami groan.
"If you can breathe, then you can move into formation," I ordered.
Yami simply got up as best he could and stood next to Hikaru, sitting down in the most comfortable position he could manage, which was basically lying on his back, staring at the ground.
"Close your eyes and meditate. Think about everything you did today, your successes, how to improve them; your mistakes, how to avoid them; and above all, examine your body: where it hurts the most, where you feel it, where you have problems, and where you feel you should focus your efforts in the future," I began to tell them.
I saw that Yami was completely still. Hikari's fingers were constantly moving, but she was relatively still. Meanwhile, Naruto had his eyes closed, but he kept fidgeting; he was like a gearshift constantly changing gears.
After about eight minutes, I got up from my seat.
"We're done; you can do whatever you want," I declared, at which point Naruto jumped about two meters high.
Without wasting any time, he ran to my side and took my hand.
"Are we going to see my mother today, Aunt Miyu?" the little Tasmanian devil in human form asked.
"Yes, we're going to the hospital to visit Kushina. Go to the bathroom, take a shower, change your clothes, and wait for me in the living room," I told him, and Naruto got excited.
Hikari got up to look at her clothes.
"I think I need to take a bath too; I can't go out with my friends like this, they'll think I'm a commoner," she said as she entered the house.
I just stared at her in disbelief at her comment, a reminder to keep my sarcastic and classist remarks to a minimum when she was around.
I turned my gaze back to Yami, who was staring at the floor, motionless. I just sighed.
"Go home and take a bath too; I'm going to be busy the next few days, so Shizune is coming to look after you for a few days," I told her.
"Understood, Mother," she said simply.
I just sighed again; I have to fix this kid before it's too late.
With that in mind, I went to my room to visit an old mummy and steal her tools.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Hey everyone, I'm back. Yesterday I woke up with the idea of uploading the chapter, but a headache flooded my brain and I couldn't even think straight. But I've brought it here now, along with several ideas I'd like to explore.
I want to point something out: I haven't fully developed Yami and Hikari's personalities yet. I have an idea, but I also want to see how the story affects them to determine if I need to make changes or if it's too complex or too linear, so to speak. Their personalities aren't fully defined yet, but I'll be guiding you toward a specific point as the chapters progress.
With nothing more to add, I hope you enjoyed the chapter.