Mr. CB's POV
Hachiman: "So, would any of you care to explain why you're all in here?"
CB: "Well, you see! I was just thinking about how I wanted to hang out with Hachiman, and then my body just started moving on its own... Next thing I knew, I was in this room! Ta-da! ♪"
Hachiman: "Don't give me that 'Ta-da' crap. It's painfully obvious you knew exactly what you were doing. And what about the other two?"
Rudolf: "Think of me as CB's handler. It's a hassle to go looking for her when she doesn't return to her room, so I figured it was more efficient to be here from the start. Besides, you feel more at ease when I'm around, don't you, Brother?"
Rice: "U-um... Rice was just curious about the... 'Hachiman Component.'"
CB: "Rice?! No, wait—!"
Hachiman: "Alright, CB, zip it for a second. Rice, what exactly is that?"
CB: "Wait! Hachi— mmpf?!"
Rudolf: (Placing a hand over CB's mouth) "Let's be quiet for a moment, shall we?"
Rice, no! Stop! Don't say it! If you explain it now, your face is going to turn bright red from the embarrassment!
Rice: "Um... CB-san was saying that it's something that makes you want to hug someone, or have them pat your head, or let you use their lap as a pillow. Rice has never really felt that way before, but CB-san said she feels it all the time."
Hachiman: "I see. Thanks for the explanation. CB? A word. Outside. Now."
—— In the Hallway ——
Hachiman: "Listen, you. Stop teaching Rice weird things. She's pure innocence. You've seen her parents—that whole family is a concentrated mass of wholesomeness. Don't go corrupting her."
CB: "B-but I really did want you to do those things! Can you blame me? Don't underestimate how much I missed you during those two months you were gone!"
Hachiman: "Don't act all proud of it... Just look, the point is: do not teach Rice anything unnecessary or strange. Got it?"
CB: "Fine, fine... geez."
Hachiman: "Good. Now let's go back."
—— Back in the Room ——
Hachiman: "Sorry for the wait."
Rice: "It's okay!"
Rudolf: "That was quick. Did she get a proper scolding?"
Hachiman: "Something like that. Now, Rice... about that 'component' thing. It's not real, okay? It's just a nonsense word made up by this scatterbrained nitwit, Mr. CB."
Rice: "Y-yes! Rice understands that! B-but, Brother? Whenever you pat Rice's head, I feel so... warm and happy inside. Is that something else?"
CB: "See! That's exactly what the Hachiman Compo—!"
Rudolf: "Would you like to stay quiet?"
CB: "But it's the truth!"
Hachiman: "...Fine. If you're that insistent, shall we conduct a little experiment? Rice, I don't think I've ever given you a lap pillow before. Want to try it out?"
Rice: "Eh... I-is it really okay?" (She fidgets shyly)
Hachiman: "I've let CB use my lap and Rudolf use my shoulder as a pillow a few times. It'd be unfair if Rice was the only one left out. (Not that I know what kind of 'fairness' this is.) If you're curious, go ahead."
Rice: "T-then... just for a little bit..."
CB: "Hachiman, Hachiman! Me too—"
Hachiman: "Reservations are limited to one person per day."
CB: "So mean!!"
Hachiman, you cheapskate!
Rice: "..."
Hachiman: "It's not exactly a high-quality pillow, is it?"
Rice: "No... it feels very safe. It's nice."
Hachiman: "Really? I can understand a girl giving a guy a lap pillow, but I can't imagine the reverse being very comfortable."
CB: "Here, Rice. Use this."
Rice: "Huh? But isn't this Brother's jacket—?"
CB: "Just take it! Here!"
Rice: "Whoa?!"
Hachiman: "Hey, CB..."
CB: "What? Part of the Hachiman Component's effect is the urge to sniff his scent!"
Hachiman: "That just sounds like you're a pervert. Right, Rice...? Rice?"
Rice: "..." (Dazed and melting into the pillow)
Hachiman: "Uh... Rice? You still with us?"
Rice: "Umyu..." (She hugs his leg tight)
Hachiman: "Wait, what?"
CB: "S-see! I told you! The Hachiman Component is real!!"
Hachiman: "This is ridiculous..."
Rudolf: "And yet, seeing the way Rice's face has completely melted with bliss... it's hard to deny the evidence."
Hachiman: "But wait, in this analogy, how does the component work? Am I secreting it?"
CB: "Exactly! Rice's Hachiman levels were just running dangerously low!"
Hachiman: (She's probably just tired. My lap and the jacket were just the final blow that knocked her out.)
Rudolf: "Brother, why not try stroking her hair? I'm curious to see if she responds, even in that state."
Hachiman: "Well, it's Rice. Might as well." (Gently pets her head)
Rice: "Nnh... ehehe..."
CB: "Oh, she looks so happy! Look at that sleepy face!"
Hachiman: "...I don't know. Right now, I feel less like a Trainer and more like an older brother taking care of the youngest sibling."
Rudolf: "Haha, you're right. You do look like siblings. Although... aren't you forgetting your other two sisters?"
Hachiman: "I'll get to you eventually. I can manage a headpat for everyone. Though the other one feels less like a sister and more like a golden retriever."
CB: "Did you hear that, Rudolf? He called you a big dog!"
Hachiman: "No matter how you slice it, you're the only 'large dog' in this room."
CB: "Why me?!"
Hachiman: "Alright, alright, cool your jets." (Starts petting CB's head too)
CB: "Ooh... yeah, that's the stuff... ♪"
Hachiman: "...See? Big dog."
Rudolf: "I suppose you're right. Sorry, CB, but I can't argue with that logic."
I'm currently busy enjoying Hachiman's headpats with 100% of my soul, so I can't hear a thiiiing!
[Bonus Scene]
Hachiman: "Hey, Rudolf. Setting CB aside... what do we do about Rice? She's out cold. I feel like a monster if I wake her up."
Rudolf: "True... she looks so peaceful. It would be a crime to disturb her."
Hachiman: "And she's kind of low-key gripping my leg so I can't move..."
Rudolf: "It seems she's taken a permanent liking to her new pillow."
Hachiman: "Hey, don't even joke about that. My legs are going to fall asleep..."
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