Michael's mother couldn't help smiling as she listened to Amara's panicked voice over the phone. The poor girl sounded terrified, her voice shaking with guilt as though she had committed a crime.
"Amara, calm down, my dear," she said softly, her tone warm and soothing.
Amara sniffled. "Mummy, I didn't mean for it to happen. I promise. He just said it, and I didn't know what to do. I told him no."
Michael's mother chuckled lightly, the sound rich and motherly. "You're crying as if you stole something. My dear, there's nothing to apologise for. Stop crying. You haven't done anything wrong."
Amara paused, sniffling. "You're not angry?"
"Of course not. Why would I be angry that my son likes a good girl?" she said warmly. "There's no reason for me to be angry when I love you, Amara."
"Mummy," Amara cried in relief, not knowing what else to say.
"But, let me ask you something, my dear, did you reject Tega because you thought I wouldn't approve?"
Amara hesitated. Her voice came out small. "Partially, yes."
Michael's mother smiled again, shaking her head. "But why would you think that, Amara? You know very well that I love you. In case you don't know it yet, you're like a daughter to me."
"I know you love me, mummy," Amara said quietly, wiping her tears with the back of her hand. "But… loving me like a daughter and wanting someone like me with my kind of past to be your daughter-in-law are two different things."
Michael's mother burst out laughing, her voice full of fond amusement. "Ah, Amara, you and your mind! You like to think too deeply. You're right, in a way. They're two different things. But let me ask you something. If you were my biological daughter, and you had a past like that, would that mean I wouldn't want a good man to marry you? Or do you think I'll be happy if another woman judges my daughter so harshly by her past?"
Amara went quiet. What did this mean? Was she saying she didn't mind her being with Michael?
Michael's mother continued softly, "I wouldn't want someone to do that to my own child, so why should I think that way about someone else's daughter? Hmm?"
Amara sniffled again, her heart warming slowly. This woman was an angel. Only an angel could have such a pure heart, Amara thought.
"And besides," the woman added with a chuckle, "my Tega is not a saint, o. That boy has his own past, too. If I tell you the kind of things that Tega has done, your mouth will open. Nobody is perfect."
Amara smiled a little. "He told me."
"He did, and you're still thinking I will judge you? Who am I to judge you if my own son could live that way? If God has already forgiven you, who am I to hold what He has already erased against you?"
Amara pressed her lips together, a tear rolling down her cheeks. "But I did something bad."
"What did you do?" Michael's mother asked curiously.
Amara went on to tell her about what had happened at the rehearsal and how she had told everyone about her past.
Michael's mother sighed softly. "That Faith girl. Anyway, it's not a bad thing. It's good that you said it yourself. Now it's no longer a secret. I doubt it was a secret before, anyway. The good thing is that now nobody can bring it up against you. You need to stop judging yourself by a past that God has already forgiven. You're a new creature, Amara. Let your mind believe that, too, regardless of what anyone else has to say. Do you know what it means for your transgressions to be blotted out? It means every evidence of sin against you has been wiped out. Now live as if you didn't do anything wrong at all. If you must refer to your past, it shouldn't be from a place of self-condemnation but from a place of gratitude, thanking God for saving you, and encouraging others with the testimony of your salvation."
Amara's chest ached. "Thank you, mummy. I understand. But it wasn't just about my past."
"What else?" she asked softly.
"Pastor Michael is successful. I'm just a small tailor with WAEC…"
Michael's mother gave a playful gasp. "Ah! Amara, clean your mouth. You're not small, my dear. You're looking at your present situation to rate yourself. Listen to me, my dear, a WAEC holder today can be a pharmacist or even a medical doctor tomorrow. Anyone can become anything if they put their mind to it. And you, my dear, can be a professor tomorrow if you want. Don't call yourself small because of an ordinary university degree."
Amara smiled faintly. She just couldn't understand the kind of person Michael's mother was, no matter how much she tried.
"Okay. I'm big," Amara said, and Michael's mother laughed.
"That's better." The older woman's tone softened even more. "I know if you had come from a better background and the money was there, you would have gone to school. Right?"
"Yes, mummy," Amara said honestly. "I would have."
"See? That settles it. Don't look down on yourself just because Tega had the privilege of coming from a good background and going to school. It's not a competition. You can still go back to school when you're ready. And I'll still support you just as I told you before."
Amara sighed softly. "Thank you, ma."
"Now," Michael's mother said kindly, "apart from all these, is there another reason you said no to him?"
Amara hesitated for a while, "It's the same thing in a way, I guess. I don't think I'm suitable for someone like him yet. I'm still trying to find my footing..."
"You don't need to find your footing. Find God, He will place your foot where it should be." Then she asked gently, "So, is there any other more tangible reason? Maybe you don't even like him like that?"
Amara's cheeks flushed instantly. "I like him," she said shyly, her voice almost a whisper. "But… I haven't prayed yet. I haven't asked God."
Michael's mother smiled, her heart full of tenderness. "Ah, Amara. My dear, first of all, I want you to know that I truly love you. And I would be happy, very happy, to have a decent and honest girl like you as my daughter-in-law. Secondly," she continued, "if you don't like where you are now, or your current level, that's not a problem. When next JAMB starts selling their form, you can get your form. Go back to school. You can still become whoever you want to be. You have my full support. Whichever university you want, whether state, federal, or private, I'll give you a hundred per cent scholarship."
Amara's eyes grew misty again. "Mummy, you've already done more than enough."
"That's what mothers are for," she said warmly. "And as for Tega, pray about him. Talk to God seriously. If He says Tega is the one, then so be it. And if not, you'll know. Don't be afraid of anything else and just open your heart and seek God's face."
Amara exhaled shakily, her shoulders dropping in relief. "Thank you, mummy. Thank you for listening to me and not getting angry."
Michael's mother laughed softly. "But you can cry sha. Such a crybaby. Or should I call you town crier?"
Amara laughed a little, sniffling. "Mummy, I'm a soft girl."
"I can see that. I miss you, my dear."
Amara smiled. "I miss you too, mummy."
"God bless you, my dear. I'll call you later."
When the call ended, Amara sat quietly for a long while, staring at the phone in her hand. Then she slowly sank to her knees beside her bed.
She clasped her hands together and bowed her head. "Father," she whispered, "thank You for using mummy to comfort me. Please lead me, Lord. Show me what to do. I don't want to walk in flesh and make any mistake again. I don't want my emotions to dictate my actions. Please, I want only Your perfect will for my life. Please teach me how to seek Your face and wait on You. If Michael is the one You want for me, please make it clear.…"
She prayed for a long time, her tears falling freely as she emptied her heart before God. She prayed until she felt the heaviness in her heart lift completely, and then, when she rose, she picked up her phone and sent Pastor Dele a text, letting him know they could start the fast the next day if it was convenient for him.