....
Day two.
The moon took the sun's place, quietly lighting the mysterious forest.
Well... the forest wasn't truly quiet, because of an old man and a child fighting each other with their bare hands, though the child was using both his hands and feet in the fight.
The old man used only one hand while smoking with the other, and he barely even moved, as if he weren't interested in the person standing before him. If someone had watched from a distance, they might have thought the man was simply shooing away flies with that right hand of his, rather than blocking the child's strikes.
"Argh... cough... cough... cough..."
Shen Zuo took a hit to the throat with no guard up, coughing violently before dropping to his knees and clutching his neck as he hacked and wheezed.
"Your field of vision has improved, and so has your tracking speed for my movements... but you're still damn slow. You can't land a direct punch, or even dodge my attacks properly. Even though you're quick to receive information, you can't do anything with it, which makes all of it pointless. Whether you see it or not, you'll end up getting hit if your body isn't fast enough. So no matter how good your training has been so far, the final result is zero.
Well, of course there's still some use to it. At the very least, in a real fight, you'll get to see the final moments before your death."
Bai Ren exhaled green smoke from his mouth, watching Shen Zuo coldly as he mocked him. It seemed he was using a different substance than before, since the smoke used to be yellow.
'Cough... cough... damn it...'
"Alright, that's it for today. We've been training since morning already, so get some good sleep for tomorrow's session."
"Tsk."
Despite his anger, he couldn't deny Bai Ren's words. What he said made sense, harsh as it was, so he gritted his teeth.
'Was all this training really for nothing?! Where did all that exhaustion, all that sweat, all that pain go?'
"If you're that desperate, don't hold back your tears. If you want to cry, you'll only end up more miserable holding it in."
Not far off, Shen Zuo heard a calm voice mocking him from somewhere nearby.
'...'
Shen Zuo turned to look at whoever it was. It was none other than Ling Li.
"This isn't the time to be thinking about anything, you idiot. Get your ass moving."
Ling Li looked down at him as if he held nothing but contempt for him.
"Did you come here just to mock me?"
Of course he didn't like hearing that, especially at a moment like this.
"Well, whether I'm mocking you or advising you depends entirely on your ears."
Shen Zuo shot back:
"Then what do you want from me?"
Ling Li followed up:
"I don't want anything from you, you brat. Don't think too highly of yourself. Even if someone asked something of you, you wouldn't be able to do it anyway..."
Shen Zuo shouted:
"Damn it! Fine! I'm a miserable failure who can't do anything right! Someone ignorant with no experience or knowledge of anything! I'm weak, but I'm trying to become stronger! I'm ignorant, but I'm trying to learn! I'm naive, but I'm trying to be realistic! Now what do you want me to do?! I'm doing everything I possibly can! I haven't dodged or slacked off on your ridiculous training! I haven't neglected reading your books even when I could have! I haven't tasted a moment of comfort in three years! I haven't even tasted real food in three years, to the point I lost my sense of taste! What do you want me to do now? Is there something I haven't done? If not, then what do you want?! Tell me!!"
Shen Zuo couldn't hold himself together any longer.
He let out all his despair at once, tears streaming down his face as he screamed at Ling Li.
"Listen, you miserable wretch. Don't measure your worth by your experience, but by how you apply it. Don't measure a person's value by their skill, but by how they use that skill. Just because you trained, and learned, and tried, doesn't mean you're always owed a perfect outcome, or even any outcome at all.
There are people who spent their entire lives training for something and died halfway there. Some succeed, some fail. But look at yourself. A year? Two years? Ten? A hundred? Even if it were a million years of experience, what good is any of it if you can't use it to your own advantage?!
Then why are you even training in the first place?
Why are you wearing out your body and mind for something you'll never benefit from?
What's the point of this empty stubbornness, this fake determination of yours?
What's the point of learning to read and write if you'll never read or write in your life?
You asked me what I wanted. Now I'll ask you the exact same question.
What do you want, Shen Zuo? What exactly do you want???"
Ling Li answered Shen Zuo coldly, his calm voice never once wavering.
"..."
Harsh as his words were, Shen Zuo couldn't deny a single one of them.
For three years, he hadn't known why he was training or learning so intensely like this. All this time, he hadn't known what he wanted, or why he wanted it, or what he would even do if he ever got it.
And because he didn't know what to do, he stared down at the ground in despair.
"Every time, you get beaten like some pathetic training dummy. Well, the three of us can easily give you advice and guidance, but even if you take our words seriously, you don't take the training seriously, and you don't even take yourself seriously."
Ling Li's harsh words kept cutting mercilessly into Shen Zuo's pride and reasoning.
Ling Li stepped forward until he stood right in front of the miserable Shen Zuo.
"So don't try playing the victim with us. You can't even act properly. That's exactly why I told you: don't think about anything pathetic right now, because it'll be just as useless as your life."
Suddenly, Ling Li grabbed Shen Zuo by his robe and yanked him forward hard, tearing away the cloak of false pride he wore, turning all his excuses and twisted logic to ash. Nothing remained except stripping away his self-pity and the bias he held toward himself.
Shen Zuo didn't even dare look Ling Li in the eyes, and could do nothing but keep crying like a child.
Well... he was one, after all.
"These painful wounds. This flowing sweat. These visible scars. This precious time. All of it needs a dream and a passion behind it, to give you the spirit and the drive to keep going with your life, Shen Zuo."
Ling Li pointed to Shen Zuo's arm and foot, covered in painful wounds, then wiped his own hand across the boy's sweat soaked forehead, touched some of the visible scars on his face and body, and lowered himself down to Shen Zuo's level.
Then he reached out, lifted Shen Zuo's chin, and raised his head to look carefully into his face.
Ling Li was smiling, something he rarely did.
His voice was warm and gentle toward Shen Zuo, who couldn't hide his own astonishment.
"Exactly. You're a human being, Shen Zuo. And a human being needs a goal, a higher purpose they want to achieve. The purpose comes first, and the means to achieve it follow after. Not just empty, meaningless actions done for no reason at all!"
Another voice came from behind Shen Zuo, fondly ruffling his hair.
It was Zhou Ji, offering his own advice.
Shen Zuo looked up curiously, to see Zhou Ji watching him with a gentle smile.
"You were never just a student to begin with, Shen Zuo. You're a friend. You always have been, and you always will be, at least to me, until the very end.
We're not training you to be the best. We're training you to be better. To be strong enough that no one can bully you, so you can defend yourself. To be aware enough that no one can manipulate or deceive you. Everything Ling Li just told you applies to him too, and it applies to all of us, naturally.
But... if you want to stop training, then to hell with the training. And to hell with all of us. We're doing this for your sake anyway. Whatever you choose, we'll accept it gladly!"
Finally, Bai Ren came over and patted Shen Zuo's shoulder to comfort him.
After hearing Bai Ren mock the training and mock everyone in general, Shen Zuo couldn't hide his childish smile.
Shen Zuo's earlier gloom lifted, and he looked at the three old men.
Ling Li, with his cold face and terrifying presence, had suddenly become warm and endearing.
Bai Ren, with his mocking, indifferent manner, had suddenly become considerate and caring.
Zhou Ji hadn't changed muc
h, he had simply grown even gentler than before.
Then he heard his stomach growl, and he said with a smile:
"What's for dinner tonight?"