Yo guys, it's your favorite author… or maybe not ദ്ദി ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ )
First things first, I'm not dead.
I mean, I will die eventually… everyone does…
but not today
Maybe (╭ರ_•́)
Okay okay, jokes aside, sorry for disappearing without saying anything. I know that wasn't great.
But life really said "surprise motherfucker" and dropped everything at once. I got admission into a university and boom, no time to think, just pack up, shift, find a place, deal with everything like an NPC on hard mode. (╥‸╥)
But now things have calmed down a bit, and I can finally breathe.
And for the most important part:
NO~
I'm not dropping this novel. I started writing this because I like it, not because someone forced me. So I'll continue as long as I can. ( •◡-)-♡
Well, yeah, you guys reading makes it worthwhile. It really does.
I'm not some emotionless machine… I see the views, I smile a little, feel like "damn, maybe I'm doing something right."
But let's not lie to each other here.
If you support me on Patreon?
Oh, that hits different.
I mean, come on… who doesn't get motivated when they see money? 💲💸
You think I'm sitting here like some enlightened monk writing purely for spiritual fulfillment?
Nah.
You drop a few bucks and suddenly I'm like, ( ´ཀ` )
"Wow, maybe I can write another chapter today."
That's not greed. That's… (⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝) enhanced motivation.
But seriously, whether you're reading silently, commenting, or actually supporting, I appreciate all of it.
Just saying… some of you could appreciate me a little louder 👄𓂺
Alright, I've talked enough. Go enjoy the chapter.
…The hell are you still doing here?
I know you love me. I love you too. ( ʃƪ˘3˘)
Now Go,
The chapter is literally below~ ( ͡º ꒳ ͡º)
ᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ!
ᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ!
ᶠᶸᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ!
━━━ ◈ ━━━
"You see, everyone has a plan… until they get punched in the mouth."
— Mike Tyson
--
Otis stared at the trembling Daimyō for a long moment.
Then he clapped his hands once.
"…Alright," he said. "Yuki."
The bear tilted her head.
"We'll decide this the civilized way."
Yuki narrowed her eyes.
The Daimyō blinked. "W-What?"
Otis turned his head slightly toward her.
The bear looked back at him.
Otis held up three fingers.
"We'll play rock, paper, scissors. Best of three."
The Daimyō's mouth fell open.
Yuki tilted her head again, clearly confused.
"If I win," Otis continued calmly, "you eat him. If you lose, you fetch me his soul."
"Got it," Otis added, nodding to himself.
Yuki nodded as well.
The way he said it made it sound like a grocery errand.
"Oi, you dumb bear, he's definitely cheating!" the daimyō shouted.
"Shut up," Otis said flatly. "Don't talk while adults are deciding things."
He glanced at Yuki.
"You trust me, right? After all, how could I cheat in front of my intelligent bear?"
Otis looked back at the daimyō.
"Or are you saying my intelligent bear is dumb?"
The Daimyō froze.
Yuki snorted, clearly offended at being called dumb, and raised one massive paw in agreement.
They played.
Right there.
In front of the Daimyō.
Like they were deciding who washed dishes.
Otis raised his hand. "Ready?"
Yuki grumbled,
"Rock… paper… scissors."
Otis: rock.
Yuki: scissors.
Otis smiled faintly.
"I won," he said.
"Again."
Second round.
Otis: rock.
Yuki: paper.
Otis leaned back. "That's two wins, but I'll allow a third round."
The daimyō's breathing went ragged.
"No, wait, wait! What is happening? Something's not right here!"
They ignored him.
Final round.
Otis: paper.
Yuki: scissors.
Otis lowered his hand.
"…Looks like you lose."
"No! No! You dumb bear!" the Daimyō screamed. "Rock doesn't beat paper! And that last one, scissors obviously beats paper! What kind of rules are these?!"
Yuki paused and glanced at Otis, doubtful…
Otis looked at her like she'd just stabbed him in the heart.
"Yuki," he said slowly, dramatically clutching his chest, "are you… seriously doubting me?"
He pointed sharply at the Daimyō.
"Over him of all people?"
"I fed you, I gave you everything, and you're doubting me?" Otis added, voice wounded in the most theatrical way possible.
(Pic)
Yuki hesitated.
Otis straightened instantly, his entire tone snapping from tragic to scholarly.
"Fine. Since you doubt my integrity, I'll explain."
He raised a finger like a professor about to lecture.
"If I find a sharp rock," he said seriously, "I can hit paper until it's shredded. Paper is very weak, after all."
Yuki considered this.
Then nodded.
…That actually made sense.
Even the Daimyō believed it for half a second.
Then he sputtered, "Then what about paper beating scissors?!"
Otis snapped his head toward him, deeply offended.
"What are you implying?" he asked coldly.
He leaned closer.
"…Are you looking down on paper?" he said sharply. "Because it's weak?"
His eyes narrowed.
"You don't know how strong paper really is. Only I do."
For a brief moment, Konan flashed through his mind.
Paper blades. Explosions. Blood… He pushed it away.
Otis leaned in further.
"Paper can beat scissors," he said firmly. "Don't look down on it."
Then, with absolute seriousness,
"You racist."
The Daimyō froze.
"What?! I'm not racist!"
Otis waved a hand dismissively.
(The paper: "Thirty years east, thirty years west, don't you dare bully me because I'm poor now!")
[(A/N): hehe, had to say this line]
The Daimyō stared at him, utterly broken…
Otis turned back to Yuki.
"Go on," he said calmly. "Fetch me his soul."
Yuki growled in deep protest.
Otis raised an eyebrow. "You agreed to do this if I won."
Yuki grumbled, then lumbered forward.
The Daimyō scrambled backward until his back hit the headboard, heels digging into the mattress, hands slipping on sweat-soaked sheets. There was nowhere left to go.
Yuki leaned down.
Her jaw opened.
Wide.
Too wide…
Rows of massive teeth gleamed in the lamplight. Thick strands of saliva dripped down, splashing onto the Daimyō's face, soaking his cheeks, his neck, his robes. The smell alone made him gag.
(Pic)
The Daimyo finally broke.
"no No NO WAIT! WAIT! I'LL TALK! I'LL TALK!"
Otis watched silently.
Yuki kept moving, slower now, her jaws still stretched impossibly wide, hovering inches from the man's head.
"STOP! STOP, PLEASE!" the Daimyō screamed.
Otis lifted a hand.
"Stop."
Then, more firmly,
"Yuki."
Yuki froze mid-motion, inches from the Daimyō's face.
Saliva continued to drip…
The Daimyō was shaking so violently the bed rattled beneath him. He turned his face away, eyes squeezed shut, sobbing openly now.
"I'LL SAY EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING!"
Yuki pulled back reluctantly, strands of saliva stretching between her jaws and the man's skin before snapping as she stepped away.
The Daimyō sucked in desperate, ragged breaths.
"It was the Daimyō of the Land of Fire," he gasped. "He ordered everything. The experiments. The funding. All of it."
Otis's eyes sharpened.
The Daimyō kept talking, words spilling faster now, panic driving them out.
"My land remained untouched during the Second and Third Shinobi Wars because of him. If I refused, Kusagakure would have been collateral. Wiped out entirely."
His voice cracked. "You wouldn't even be standing here if I hadn't agreed!"
Otis nodded.
"…That's your answer?"
"Yes! That's the truth!" the Daimyō cried.
Otis looked unimpressed…
"…Yuki."
Yuki stepped forward again, her jaws opening.
"I TOLD YOU EVERYTHING!" the Daimyō screamed. "EVERYTHING!"
Otis's voice was flat.
"You think we're idiots?"
Yuki kept moving.
Closer…
"You expect us to believe you just because you pointed a finger?"
"WAIT! WAIT! I HAVE PROOF!" the Daimyō shrieked. "I HAVE PROOF!!"
Otis raised his hand again.
"Stop."
Yuki halted.
Another string of saliva dropped onto Daimyō's face as she backed away, visibly annoyed.
(Pic)
The man nearly fell as he scrambled off the bed, clawing at the wall. His shaking fingers pressed into a hidden groove.
A compartment slid open…
Inside were sealed documents. Correspondence. Funding orders. Signatures.
He read once.
Then again.
Silence stretched…
When he finished, he closed the file.
His jaw tightened.
"…It's genuine."
For a brief moment, something dark and bitter flickered through his mind.
I don't know… he thought. It's like canon really did get fucked in this world. The butterfly effect isn't fluttering anymore. It's tearing things apart.
--
Author Note:
Hehe, had to sneak that line in.
For anyone confused:
"Yes, 'Thirty years east, thirty years west, don't you dare bully me because I'm poor now!' is from BTTH."
No, this is not suddenly a Chinese novel.
No, Otis is not about to cultivate Qi.
No, I did not secretly change genres mid-chapter.
I just liked the line. Authors do that sometimes...
If you recognized it, congrats.
If you didn't, also congrats.
If you're still thinking about it… maybe keep reading. ( ＾◡＾)っ✂╰⋃╯