Inside a meeting room with a large map of the 2nd martial continent displayed on the table, the northern forces were gathering to discuss war tactics and possible strategies for how to deal with the sages, when suddenly.
*Bang*
Nox, wearing a cone-shaped party hat, and sporting a clown mask kicked in the door and started firing with her new confetti cannon, covering the room in shredded pieces of colored paper.
"HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FA-!"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" She screamed, as she wildly fired more confetti, until they couldn't see the map on the table.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?! GIVE ME THAT AND LEA-!"
*Splat*
Ping, bolting up to Nox, grabbed the cannon straight out of her hands, and crushed it. Unfortunately, the confetti cannon Nox had made was one that automatically shreds and dye paper to make more ammunition, and what Ping had grabbed onto was the paint tank. So, when he crushed it, paint of all colors came shooting out in every direction.
"*pitooey* Bleh! Ugh! DAMN IT, NOT AGAIN! I SWEAR, IF THIS IS NOT PAINT I WILL-!"
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Nox shouted, cutting off her white and brown colored uncle while pulling out another confetti cannon to shoot him in the face.
*Bang*
"STOP DOING THAT! IT'S NOT ANYBODIE'S BIRTHDAY!"
"Silly rat man! It's always somebody's birthday somewhere!"
*Bang*
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW-!"
*Swoosh*
"NOXY!"
Cutting off Ping's protests, Xing who just entered the room, saw his clown daughter and immediately bolted over, pushing past his brother to give her a bear hug.
"Noxy, don't wowwy! Daddy will make all those meanies go away! Nobody bullies my wittle pwincess!" Xing said, speaking like he was talking to a toddler before trying to give her a kiss on the cheek.
*Smack*
"AAAAAHHH!"
"I AM NOT LITTLE, YOU CREEPY DUMBASS! GET YOUR STUPID EYES CHECKED!" Nox screamed after smacking her father's face away with the pain stick, as her insecurity over her height was resurfacing.
Although she was rather tall for a human, above average height ran in the family. Out of all her paternal relatives present inside this room, the only one who was not taller than her was Ping, who was about the same height.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
*Bang**Bang*Bang*
After smacking her father over the head with a pain worse than death given physical form, she retracted the pain stick into her hand, pulled out a unicycle and resumed firing her confetti cannon.
"STOP THAT! DO YOU HAVE NO REMORSE FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" Ping screamed in her face as he grabbed her off the unicycle by the lapel.
*Toot*
"Ugh!"
Nox just responded by blowing the two party horns embedded in the mouth of her clown mask, which unfurled right into Ping's eyes, causing him to flinch and drop her, as he began to rub his eyes. Nox then went back to riding her unicycle and covering the room in confetti.
"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! STOP FOOLING AROUND!"
"DON'T YELL AT MY LI-! AT MY DAUGHTER!" Xing screamed at his older brother after the pain finally subsided.
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU BASTARD!" Ping shouted as he released his qi pressure.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME! I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT AGAIN!" Xing shouted, using 1st stage aura to withstand the pressure as he grabbed his older brother by the collar.
To anyone who knew Xing before the fall of the Yang clan, this was a rather surreal sight. In the past, not counting sparring matches with his sister, Xing had never once raised his hand against his siblings, even if he would be completely justified in doing so. Even when they broke or borrowed his stuff without asking, talked behind his back, or made fun of him to his face, he always just shrugged and laughed it off, when faced with his childish older siblings. It was this mature and forgiving attitude that often made people mistake him for the elder sibling during his teenage years. However, all this maturity was nowhere to be seen, as he used his aura and superior fighting skills to wrestle his older brother to the ground, because he justifiably raised his voice against his estranged daughter because she disrupted a very important strategy meeting with her antics.
*Thud*
"DAMN IT YOU! LET ME GO, YOU CRIPPLE!" Ping shouted with his face pressed to the ground.
"NOT UNTIL YOU APOLOGIZE!" Xing said, twisting Ping's arm while pinning him to the floor.
"NEVER!"
While Xing was no longer a cultivator, besides being the more skilled fighter despite being somewhat rusty, his aura mastery is more than enough to overpower a green stage nascent soul like Ping. Before the fall of his clan, without his cultivation, his aura would at most make him on par with Ping, but his experiences since then both good and bad have facilitated significant growth and change in his soul that consequently strengthened his aura. On a normal day, his aura would make him on par with his father in terms of power, so Ping was obviously no match for him.
"Hmph! Maybe if I break your arm, you'll learn some manners!"
"YOU WOULDN'T DARAAAAH! STOP, STOP! FATHER HELP!"
"XING! That's enough! Let him go!" Ai ordered as Xing was seriously about to break his arm.
"Fine! I won't break his arm, but I still want him to apologize for yelling at my lit-! At my sweet, no, that's not quite right either! My kind daughter!"
"I refuse! She has been nothing but a nuisance and a troublemaker since the day she appeared!" Ping said, pointing at the clown who had completely buried the map in confetti.
"Why you-!"
"Xing that's enough!" Ming said as he stepped in between the two as they seemed about to start again.
"But he-!"
"Sorry Xing, but Ping's not wrong here. As funny as I find the pipsqueak blastin his face with confetti, this ain't the time to be messin around! Those old bastards already know where we live, and seein as aunty Mei was with em, I'm guessin the sages ain't the only old bastards we got to worry 'bout." Ning chimed in, right before getting a face full of shredded paper.
*Bang*
"EXACTLY, AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF THIS WENCH! WE TOOK HER IN AND SHELTERED HER, AND SHE REPAYED US BY BRINGING DANGER TO OUR HOME! THE SAGES ONLY DISCOVERED THE LOCATION OF OUR ESTATE BECAUSE OF HER!" Ping screamed while pointing at Nox who finally put away her confetti cannon in favor of making balloon animals.
"Ping, we don't know that for sure!" Ming chimed in.
"Don't we? What other explanation could there possibly be? THEY LEFT US ALONE FOR ALL THESE YEARS BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHERE WE WERE, THEN SUDDENLY SHE SHOWS UP, DRAWING EVERYONES ATTENTION AS SHE SHAMELESSLY WHORED HER WAY INTO THE DARK LORD'S BED, AND SUDDENLY THEY KNOW WHERE WE ARE!"
"You watch your mouth when you speak abou-!"
*Splash*
As Xing got a murderous look in his eyes after hearing Ping badmouth Nox, the woman in question pulled out a spray bottle and started cleaning his face like it was a window. When Xing tried to protest, she stopped cleaning and slapped a magically enchanted sticker over his mouth before moving on to juggling whatever she could get her hands on.
"THE WHOLE POINT OF HIDING ON THIS CONTINENT WAS BECAUSE THE CONTINENTAL BARRIER AND POLITICAL CONTROVERSIES MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO TRACK US!"
*Muffled shouting*
"…"
Aside from Xing who was struggling to remove the sticker gagging his mouth, they all stayed silent, offering no protests, because deep down, all of them thought he was right. The UFO, the Yang Ping whore house, the dark lord's marriage proposals, there were so many occasions where Nox caused a big commotion that might have ruined their cover.
*Sigh*
"I've tried to warn you all she would only bring our clan trouble! Yet, you've all been letting her run wild, but enough is enough! If we don't cut our losses now, there will be no hope of our clan's survival!"
"Ping? What are you suggesting that we-!"
"We are fortunate that they only want two of us! They could have demanded all our heads to be served up! I say we give them what they want, before they change their minds!"
"HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?! WHAT YOU ARE SUGGESTING IS NO DIFFERENT FROM SPILLING THEIR BLOOD WITH OUR OWN HANDS!" Ming screamed with a red face.
"Ping. Why?" Ai mumbled in a daze.
"THEN THEIR BLOOD WILL BE ON MY HANDS ALONE!" Ping shouted back in his father's face.
Ping then took a deep breath as he continued.
"Father, Mother, I understand you might be hesitant to give up my brother and niece, believe me, I do, but this is a matter of our clan's survival! We have no other choice, so let me carry this burden. as the next, no, as the clan head, I will shoulder the guilt and lead us through these trying times!"
"*sigh* You sick fuckin asshole!" Ning muttered.
"What?"
"Your brains must be as empty as your balls if ye think none of us don't see what yar tryin to do!"
"I don't know what kind of misunderstanding you've cooked up in that thick head of yours, but even a barbarian like you should understand that this is the only way!"
"Oh, I understand! I understand yar actually happy tha-!"
*THUD**BANG**THUD**SMASH*
Interrupting Ning came the sound of Nox dropping everything she was juggling to the floor. While the Yang's were busy arguing with themselves, Nox had gone around the room and added every object or piece of furniture she could find for her to juggle, and whenever someone tried to stop her, she paralyzed them with spells and poisons before throwing their limp bodies into the air as well, giving some of them a concussion from all the times they hit their heads on the ceiling.
"Okay, then! Time to sing the birthday song! Happy birthday to he, happy birthday to she, happy birthday everybody, happy birthday to be!" She sang and danced while pointing at the people around the room.
"Just look at her! She has put us all in danger and still she shamelessly prances around while treating everything like a joke without a shred of guilt! Are you all really satisfied to die for such an ungrateful person? I bet even when we all die, she'll dance on our graves with a smile on her face! So, I say we have her take some responsibility for her actions for once in her life!"
"YOU CALL HER SHAMELESS! IF NOT FOR YOUR NIECE, YOUR MOTHER WOULD HAVE DIED, AND YOU WISH TO KILL NOT ONLY HER, BUT YOUR BROTHER AS WELL! I DID NOT RAISE YOU TO BE SUCH A COWARD!" Ming shouted at his eldest son.
"BUT THE SAGES!"
"THE SAGES WAS OUR PROBLEM, NOT HERS! YOU SPEAK OF TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR ONES OWN ACTIONS, BUT STILL INSIST ON PUSHING THIS ON TO HER! HAVE YOU NO SHAME BOY!"
"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HOW THIS ALL STARTED? THIS ALL HAPPENED BECAUSE OF HER FATHER, MY BROTHER, AND IS CONTINUING NOW BECAUSE OF HER! WILL YOU NOT STOP INDULGING THEM UNTIL THERE IS NOTHING LEFT OF OUR CLAN?!"
"HOW DARE! YOU WOULDN'T BE ALIVE IF NOT FOR YOUR BROTHER! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT HAPPENED THE BRIEF MOMENT YOU TOOK COMMAND!"
"Oh, here we go, again! THAT WAS OVER A DECADE AGO, AND MAY I REMIND YOU WE HAD BEEN FIGHTING A LOSING BATTLE SINCE THE MOMENT GRANDFATHER DIED! I WAS SET UP TO FAIL FROM THE START!"
"WE ALL WARNED YOU NOT TO-!"
"EVERYBODY SHUT YOUR HOLES! It's cake time!" Nox shouted, cutting off Ming's words.
Wanting everybody's attention, Nox was holding a birthday cake with happy birthday fish slaves, written in the frosting.
"I wish I owned the Yang clan!" she said before blowing out the candles with her party horns.
*Toot*
*Sigh*
With an exhausted sigh, Ping, ignoring Nox's birthday wish, tried to continue the conversation.
"Father. What other options do we have left! It's either we surrender or we die! As the heir to the clan, I am putting my foot down and-!"
"OBJECTION! Your point is mute cause you're not the heir! Ain't that right your honor?" Nox said, her eyes glowing as she put a wig on Ming while handing him a gavel along with a desk to bang it on.
"WOULD YOU BE QUIET AND LET US TALK IN PEACE YOU INSOLANT-!
*Bang**Bang*
"She is right! Hm?" Ming uttered with a look of surprise on his face while banging the gavel in his hand.
An awkward silence ensued after Ming's words echoed through the room.
"Sorry, I believe I might have misheard you. What did you just say father?" Ping said, his eye twitching.
Ming's eyes giving off a blue glint, removed his hand from his mouth as he said.
"You are not the heir to the clan anymore!" Ming said, before giving Nox a look.
"…! This has to be some sort of jest, right? I am the only eligible candidate left to take over the clan! You are not seriously planning to defy our clan's traditions and make my crippled brother the clan head again, especially after all the trouble he caused!"
"Well, it's not up to him! It's up to me! I mean didn't you hear my birthday wish!" Nox said.
"WHAT ARE YOU BABBELING ABOUT YO-!"
"She's right!" Ming said.
"What? WAIT, WHAT?! No, that's impossible! She is both a woman and a mortal, she is not eligible to lead the clan! IT WOULD BREAK WITH TRADITION!"
"Silly rat man! Everybody knows tradition don't hold a candle to the power of birthday cake magic! Duh! Ain't that right old man?"
"Correct. Gha! You don't have to use that to make me speak! I've only been keeping silent because you ordered me to!" Ming complained to Nox.
"Father? What is she talking about?"
"*Sigh* it was a deal I struck with the lass. If she could cure your mother and brother, I would give her the clan!"
"YOU HAD NO RIGHT!"
"Ping, I-!"
"NO, SHUT UP! THE LAWS OF OUR CLAN STATE THAT THE CLAN LEADER MUST BE A MALE AND A CULTIVATOR! SHE IS NEITHER! YOU CAN'T JUST CHANGE THE RULES AS YOU PLEASE! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!"
"Good one rat man!"
"Excuse me?"
"Do you really think traditions mean anything at this point? Not that it matters anyways since I'm not the clan leader, I'm the clan owner!"
"What are you even-?"
"What the old man sold me wasn't the leader position, no, no, it's much worse than that! What he sold me was the clan's freedom! In other words, you are all my slaves!" Nox said, as her eyes turned pitch black.
"What?"
"Since I own the clan, I get to choose who's in charge, so sorry, not sorry, but you're not my chosen one! On the plus side, you have my blessing to work as a full-time comedian!" Nox said snapping her fingers.
*Thud*
Soon after something came falling from the ceiling.
"Ugh! What the? Where am I!"
"Gha! Finally! Huh? Takeru?" Xing said as he finally managed to tear the sticker away from his mouth.
The person who Nox had just teleported into the room was Takeru, who had strategically retreated from the room the moment the clown masked magician started firing confetti everywhere.
"May I introduce you to your new clan leader! You know em, you love em, you probably didn't even consider him, the soon to be king, Wife-Beater! Congratulations! *Clapping*"
"…?"
An awkward silence pervade through the room as Nox's words sunk in. However, the first to break the silence was Ning, as she proceeded to laugh.
"Pft! Hehe! hahahAHAHAHA!"
"Lass?"
"Wait, what did she say?" Takeru asked, very confused as to what's going on.
"THIS HAS TO BE SOME KIND OF JOKE! THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A LEGITIMATE CLAIM! WE CANNOT POSSIBLY ALLOW THIS BRAINLESS SLUT TO DECIDE THE CLAN LEADER POSITION LIKE THIS! I MEAN, THAT MAN ISN'T EVEN PART OF OUR CLAN! THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY BE ALLOWED! ITS AGAINST THE RULES!"
"Against the rules? I am the rules! Ain't that right old man!" Nox said, using her soul contract on Ming.
"Yes! Gha! Stop doing that! And Ping has a-!"
"No, he hasn't!" Nox interrupted.
"You are correct! Damn it! You can't just-!"
"Yes I can!" Nox interrupted.
"Of course! Gha! Oh, come on!" Ming complained.
"MOTHER, SAY SOMETHING! YOU CAN'T LET THIS HAPPEN!" Ping pleaded, turning to his mother for help now that his father was of no use.
Looking at Ping, Ai's dazed eyes suddenly cleared up with a blue glint.
"Listen to Nox Ping-Ping!"
"AM I THE ONLY SANE PERSON LEFT ON THIS EARTH?! WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!" Ping screamed.