He relived his training at Shrek Academy, not to memorize the methods for executing soul skills, but to feel how the desire "to become stronger" drove his body to surpass its limits; he relived the battles of the Continental Advanced Soul Master Academy Tournament, not to memorize the application of tactics, but to feel how the weight of "victory and defeat" tempered his spirit under pressure; he relived his love and struggles with Gu Yuena, not to remember the details of sweetness and pain, but to feel how the conflict between "love" and "responsibility" forged the difficulty of his choices.
He relived the tearing and struggle of inheriting the Golden Dragon King's divine position, the joy and sorrow of reuniting with Qian Renxue, the touch and fear of becoming a father, the despair and persistence of fighting the Eye of Annihilation.
Every memory was meticulously deconstructed by him, not recalled as a "story," but analyzed as an "event of existence": In that moment, what did I feel? In that moment, what did I choose? In that moment, what did I become?
With each memory analyzed, a point of light would ignite in the depths of his soul. At first, these points of light were independent, scattered and adrift in the depths of his consciousness. But as the points of light grew more numerous, they began to connect spontaneously, forming a network.
Tang Wulin "saw" the point of light for his birth connect with the point of light for his mother's embrace, because "birth" brought me into this world, while "my mother's embrace" gave me my first sense of belonging in it.
The point of light for "Mom" connected with the point of light for his father teaching him the Hammer Techniques, because "calling out" was my first active interaction with the world, while "learning" was my first attempt to understand it.
The points of light for Shrek connected with the points of light for his partners; the points of light for the tournament connected with the points of light for victory and defeat; the points of light for love connected with the points of light for responsibility; the points of light for joy connected with the points of light for pain...
An increasingly complex and dense network of light slowly unfolded in the depths of his soul. It was not a map of power, but a complete chart of the existence of "Tang Wulin": every node was a significant event of existence, every line a causal relationship, an emotional bond, or a resonance of meaning between the events.
When this network began to take form, Tang Wulin felt the first "resonance."
It was not a resonance with the laws of the outside world, but a self-resonance from within the network. Those points of light began to pulse in sync at a certain frequency. With every pulse, his understanding of "who I am" deepened.
He was not the inheritor of the Golden Dragon King's divine position—that was merely an identity.
He was not a former Rank 1 god—that was merely a phase.
He was not a powerless cripple—that was merely a circumstance.
He was Tang Wulin, the son of Tang San and Xiao Wu, the husband of Qian Renxue, the father of Tang Xuanyu, Tang Yilin, and Tang Nianxue, the captain of the Shrek Seven Monsters, an ordinary man who had once protected the world and once struggled between duty and love, a soul that had held fast in despair and affirmed its existence in the face of the void.
The instant this realization surfaced, the network of light deep in his soul blazed forth with a gentle yet brilliant radiance. That light permeated his body, seeping into reality.
Inside the quiet room, a faint aura appeared on Tang Wulin's body. It was not the golden light of soul power, nor the seven-colored radiance of divine power, but a pure, almost translucent, milky-white aura, like the first ray of morning sun—gentle yet resolute.
Qian Renxue, who was standing guard outside the quiet room, shot to her feet. She could feel that something had changed in her husband. It wasn't a recovery of power, nor the healing of his wounds, but something more fundamental... a "clarity." It was as if a dusty mirror had been wiped clean, a blurry portrait brought into focus. In that instant, Tang Wulin's presence became incomparably vivid, incomparably solid.
"This is..." she covered her mouth, tears welling in her eyes.
The door to the quiet room was pushed open. Tang San and Xiao Wu had also rushed over. They had sensed that peculiar fluctuation, both familiar and foreign.
"He's found it," Tang San said softly, awe and comprehension dawning in the Sea God's eyes. "Not the way to recover his strength, but... himself."
Just then, Tang Wulin inside the quiet room began his second attempt.
He no longer recalled the past, but felt the present.
He felt the flow of air in the quiet room, not with his skin, but with his very existence, feeling the mutual confirmation of the fact "the air exists, and I exist within the air."
He felt the touch of the cattail mat beneath him, not with his body, but with his very existence, feeling the mutual construction of the relationship "the mat supports me, and I exist upon the mat."
He felt his own heartbeat, his own breathing, the blood rushing through his veins, the cells metabolizing—not as physiological phenomena, but as the continuous proof that "I exist here, in this moment."
With everything he felt, the network of light in his soul would extend a filament, establishing a connection with that thing. It was not a connection of control, nor of possession, but a connection of "co-existence": I am here with you, we share this time and space, our existences affirming one another.
The point of light for the air, the point of light for the mat, the point of light for his heartbeat, the point of light for his breathing... more and more things from reality were drawn into this net of existence. The network was no longer confined to memories and emotions; it began to expand into reality.
Then, Tang Wulin made his boldest attempt.
He extended the tendrils of his consciousness toward the "Laws."
Not to understand the composition of the laws, not to control their authority, but to feel the "existence" of the laws.
He felt the existence of "gravity"—not how gravity functioned, but the simple fact that "gravity exists." In the moment he felt it, a brand-new point of light lit up in his soul's network, connecting with the memory point of "me standing on the ground" and the reality point of "blood circulating in my body." Gravity was no longer an external force, but one of the fundamental conditions that constituted "Tang Wulin's existence in this world."
He felt the existence of "time"—not how time flowed, but the simple fact that "time exists." A point of light representing time appeared in the network, connecting with all the memory points (for memories are the traces of time) and all the reality points (for reality is the present moment of time). Time was no longer a linearly flowing river, but one of the very warp and weft threads that wove the net of existence.
He felt the existence of "life"—not how life functioned, but the simple fact that "life exists." The point of light for life connected with the point of light for his birth, the point of light for his heartbeat, and all the points of light for his bonds with his parents, children, lover, and friends. Life was no longer a biological definition, but the foundation that enabled "me to love, to hate, to choose, to exist."
One after another, points of light for the Laws lit up in the network of his soul. Gravity, time, space, life, death, light, darkness, order, chaos... not all of them, but just those that Tang Wulin could understand and feel at this moment.
------------------------------------------------------
30+ Chapters Ahead: patreon.com/EphemeralShadow
There's something for free patrons too! Free Patrons receive 1 chapter in advance :)
