"So… Officer Firsté… Firstly, what do you think about this… is there anything you find amiss?"
___
It had been two years. Countless deals dealt, [chicken] breasts felt, orders taken, thickshakes shaken, buns buttered, tables decluttered, customers served, deliveries delivered…
And now. At last. It was time. All for this moment…
"Hm… No. Not at all. It seems that he's just… norm-al."
Phitnus said, [seeming putting the matter to bed…]
[!!!!!!?!?!?!?!?!!!!?!?!?!!]
___
After frowning, Officer Firsté takes in the footage, and can see, immediately, that the old 'take out' delivery worker on the screen, is quite likely, not who he seems…
But then again.
It was all part of the plan.
___
*17 years earlier*
"Father, no!!!"
Phamilé Firsté - "Pham" for short - coughed, a dry, racking, hacking cough.
"My boy… you must be strong. Yes. It is true that I did many… [bad] things, but… I did it all… for the family…"
"Say no more, Father! I know!"
"… But that police…man… he was… too greedy. He wanted… too much. So we… we had to fight."
"Who?! Who did this?!"
"F-Fatteus S-Slacké…" Old Man Pham said, before his head lolled, seemingly having completed his main task in the book.
The young boy Phitnus clenched his fists, readying himself in the rain for the classic cry and yell to the heavens.
"Earghh-"
*cough* "Wait."
Young Phit was suddenly interrupted before his literal fit of despair, rage and regret, as his father apparently wasn't quite done just yet.
"I-I forgot to give you my parting advice."
"Oh?"
"…Do you know, Phitnus, why we gave you your name?"
[Phit internally 🙄]
[Phit externally since he was getting paid Powerstones for this and it was in the script 🥹]
"No, father, you… you never told me…! You were always too busy, with the family business!!!"
"…Ah." Pham's eyes took on a misty look of reminiscence, filled with wistful regret - although in truth, this was more to do with the jade beauties, that he had let…
But time…! Time was powerstones. He had to continue 🫢✨!
"Always remember Phit. I-It's a cruel world out there. It's every man for himself. Learn from my mistakes. Always remember… It's always been about Survival… "
"…Of the Fittest…"
Father Pham's head then lolled again - this time in slow motion and with swirling tugging-at-ones-heartstrings strings swelling in the BGM whilst the pouring rain intensified, so we knew that this time, it was [probably] legit.
"Earghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
___
"An enemy of an enemy… is a friend."
Phitnus didn't know what the 'take out' delivery guy was doing, or what scheme he might be brewing, but as far as he was concerned, the less Fatteus learned… the better.
To exact his revenge, and taking on board the words of his Father, Phitnus had strived to focus - on staying alive, and also to live up to his name, focusing first on his fitness regimen, to maximise his chances of Survival and ultimate victory, whilst decreasing that of his Target for vengeance - who would probably die of cardiovascular or health related diseases sometime soon - one morbid[ly obeser] bite at a time…!!!!
Phitnus inwardly chuckled, as he witnessed Fatteus gobbling down every bite of his meal, which he had personally laced… with a special ingredient, via a touch, sprinkle, and feel…
The white crystalline powder… it was a trade secret inherited from the 'Family business'…
___
Yes that's right, esteemed reader! ✨🤭
It was indeed MSG… ✨💖🔥🌻🍪[1]
[1] aka Monosodium glutamate, E621 ✨ #randomfactsoftheday
The addictive additive had gotten Fatteus hooked, and soon, slowly but surely, he would be cooked…
___
"Hm… No. Not at all. It seems that he's just… norm-al."
Phitnus said, even as Fatteus began to spread… and butter his bread… though not in that way, come on guys!!!! 🫢✨
"Oh. I see." Fatteus then said, seemingly dismissing the matter - even as he returned to his large food platter.
"Anyway, about the second thing. Plan D… I'm sure you're wondering, 'What could it be?'"
"Well let's see. Officer Firsté. You've been [']Undercover['] now for a while. But now it's time… to up the dial."
___