Chapter 21: The Holy Grail and Alexander
Athena is a Great Mother Goddess who leaves as soon as she says she will.
Not only did she leave, but she also casually tossed down a large-scale divine artifact written as "Magic Holy Grail" but read as "Mr. Water Vat."
As a pseudo-history enthusiast, Hikigaya Hachiman's impression of the "Holy Grail" was basically limited to the level of "Are you my Master?" and "Queen, is your husband going out today?" However, this didn't stop him from studying it thoroughly with a "tsk, tsk, tsk" attitude.
Regrettably, Hikigaya's understanding of the myths related to the Holy Grail was far too meager. Taking the green-cuckolded King Arthur as an example, he knew at most that this persona seemed to be a hodgepodge product of N-many white tribal chiefs from different historical periods. Consequently, after crouching in his room and researching for most of the night, he decided to skillfully use the telephone to call Alexander for an assist.
If Athena was the type to leave as soon as she said so, then Alexander was the type to arrive as soon as he was called.
Not long after Hikigaya put down the phone, he saw a familiar flash of lightning slip in through the window, manifesting as the form of the British Devil King. Alexander seemed somewhat excited; the evidence was that he was wearing an apron around his waist, holding a cell phone in his left hand, and clutching a kitchen knife in his right.
This gave Hikigaya, who had been enthusiastically planning to start a conversation, a small surprise.
He wasn't surprised that Alexander could bring a kitchen knife along while turning into lightning. Logically, the move for a Campione that was written as "changing the essence of the body" but read as "elementalization" naturally included the substances the body was in contact with—otherwise, would everyone have to streak every time?
What surprised Hikigaya was that this fellow actually possessed the epic skill of cooking. Under otherwise identical conditions, a man who can cook and a man who cannot are two entirely different species.
"The Holy Grail! You actually got it!"
Alexander didn't notice at all that Hikigaya was giving him a mental thumbs-up. His eyes immediately locked onto the water vat in the room. Although it had been sealed by Hikigaya, as someone who had briefly possessed it before, he could tell at a single glance that it was the real deal.
"You actually sealed it? How did you do that?" Casually tossing away the phone and the kitchen knife, Alexander pounced to the side of the water vat and began to touch it incessantly, making Hikigaya almost question his preferences.
However, remembering that this guy was the famous "Phantom Thief," he felt enlightened. It was just an occupational hazard, understandable. To a "Phantom Thief," if something that had already been in their hands managed to run away on its own, they would naturally upgrade its "like" level.
What should one do when a treasure flies away? Naturally, one must retrieve it and touch it to one's heart's content! Thus, even though he wasn't the one who retrieved it, Alexander still rigorously completed the latter half of the process by giving the Holy Grail a thorough feeling-up.
Once he finished his "touching" and expressed his "Phantom Thief" complex, Alexander turned back to look at Hikigaya, who had been patiently watching him. He gave an embarrassed, dry laugh and then asked curiously, "How did you do it?"
Despite his father being a self-indulgent wild sorcerer—resulting in him receiving no systematic magical education as a child—Alexander was still a sorcerer. To become a Campione with the identity of a pure sorcerer was a unique distinction among the currently living Campiones.
If he was considered a "crooked style" practitioner before becoming a Campione, then today, after being a Campione for ten years, he was a Great Sorcerer with excellent theoretical and practical abilities. He was also very proficient in the sealing magic of the current era. When he first obtained the Grail, he had tried a whole set of seals on it, but without exception, they were all useless.
Yet, Hikigaya Hachiman, who clearly came from a martial background, had achieved it now—he had truly sealed this divine artifact. This left Alexander very confused. He had already determined that this Grail was completely immune to modern sealing magic on a mechanical level.
"I used the divine arts of the Egyptians," Hikigaya clarified Alexander's confusion, causing him to have a sudden realization.
"I thought Egyptian witchcraft was already lost," Alexander said with great sighing emotion. "I didn't expect the Ennead to still have such good stuff."
Hikigaya keenly noticed that this guy's pair of thieving eyes lit up again. Thinking about the way the Ennead had knelt before him so perfectly, Hikigaya decided to save them from a few waves of unmerited disaster.
"It is indeed lost. The Ennead doesn't know it either. This is something I learned from the ancient Egyptians after returning to the past," Hikigaya said.
"You can go back too?" Alexander's expression looked quite envious. "I thought only she could do that. Can you take other people with you?"
"Oh? There are others who can do that?" Hikigaya grew curious. He had always thought this was his own unique skill.
"There are. An old man can do it, and that woman can too."
Alexander didn't seem to want to bring that up. He quickly shifted the topic again, and with great enthusiasm.
"Can you take me along next time?"
His expression fully revealed that he truly wanted to time travel.
"You're interested in a place where people live like savages? Fine, no problem." Hikigaya didn't refuse. He felt that teaming up with Alexander wasn't a bad idea. That "pit" back in Egypt could perhaps be used one more time.
However, what he was currently interested in was this vat left by Athena.
"Tell me about this? Didn't you say before that this thing was quite important?"
"That's right. Although the descent of the Heretic God named King Arthur several years ago proved that the King of the End is not King Arthur, the Holy Grail is not an object exclusive to the Arthurian myths."
Hikigaya nodded upon hearing this, accepting the explanation. When speaking of King Arthur, one cannot bypass the Holy Grail, but the Holy Grail itself is not limited to King Arthur. Setting aside the fact that its prestige is incredibly high in the "bell-pepper" (Christian) circles, in terms of imagery, besides the "bell-peppers," it also has roots in Celtic and primordial myths.
Seeing Hikigaya's agreement, Alexander wasn't surprised. After all, in his heart, Hikigaya shared his love for myth and history. If he didn't even know this, what was the point? So, he continued.
"A person who calls herself the Queen of Witches is the actual possessor of this thing, and she is guarded by a God. According to my latest investigation, the place where the King of the End slumbers should be right here in Japan. The key to His resurrection, besides the Holy Grail, is the Indestructible Divine Blade."
Speaking to this point, Alexander's expression became a bit strange.
Hikigaya could bet there was some "adultery" involved here. So, he very naturally took a sharp breath and asked with extreme interest, "Did you sleep with that witch whatever-her-name-is?"
A witch who can hang around with Gods must be a Divine Ancestor, not just a descendant of one. Despite losing their divinity, their essence is still that of a "snake." To be able to sleep with that—your tastes are quite unique.
Seriously, although Hikigaya had taught several lessons on the legends of "sleeping with snakes" to his students back then, those were just myths. He hadn't expected that Alexander, who looks so dignified, would actually put it into practice.
"I think you should be more serious." Alexander looked thoroughly disgusted for a moment; his face twitched. "I almost forgot where I was..."
"You said there was a God beside that witch," Hikigaya reminded him. He really didn't mean to interrupt Alexander's train of thought.
However, there was one thing he firmly believed: the eyes of European sorcerers must be broken. Whether as a divine artifact or as a symbolic image in Western culture that has been iconized, this was just a water vat. Yet, they hyped it up as some object symbolizing the "ideal realm" that humanity longs for but cannot reach.
Back in the day, Sima Guang could smash ten of these in one breath without even breaking a sweat.
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