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Oh, I am absolutely stuffed.
Xu Luo returned to his rental house and collapsed onto his bed with a long, satisfied sigh. The food at Xinyue Kiosk was genuinely incredible. It was the kind of meal where you realized that once you had a taste of the high life, it was impossible to forget it. He stared at the ceiling, feeling the truth of it in his bones: human beings are fundamentally wired to succumb to luxury and enjoyment.
He looked around his cramped living space. It was a tiny room, barely twenty square meters, and he felt a sudden, sharp urge to move as soon as possible. As a high-quality traveler and a man who was technically the most influential media mogul in Teyvat, living in a place like this was no longer an option. At the very least, it would be extremely disrespectful to bring a girl home to a shoebox like this in the future. He needed space, he needed luxury, and most importantly, he needed to stop living like a penniless vagabond.
For now, though, it was time to draw from the system.
After the massive wave of emotional value harvested from the Ningguang and Beidou broadcast, Xu Luo had earned his second opportunity to pull from the lucky draw. Thinking back to the results of his first lottery, he felt a wave of uncertainty wash over him.
The system gave anywhere from three to five items, but last time he had ended up with the absolute bottom-tier trash. It was a joke. He suspected that the process of crossing over between worlds might have exhausted every drop of luck he had.
But the lottery was a necessity. It was the primary source of his strength and his only path to becoming a true powerhouse in Teyvat. No matter how unlucky he felt, he had to face the screen and roll the dice.
The glory of the Emperor protects me! A loyal bolter smashes bad luck! Even the demons of the Warp can't stop me from becoming a lucky king today!
After offering up a series of sincere, slightly desperate prayers, Xu Luo managed to calm his racing heart. He took a deep breath and stared at the interface.
Just do it!
If you hesitate, you lose. Xu Luo decisively tapped the button to use his hard-earned lucky draw. The card drawing interface transformed into a vast, swirling sky. Suddenly, five streaks of lightâfive meteorsâignited in the atmosphere and began to descend toward him.
Yes! Five items! This looks like a solid pull.
As the five meteors flew halfway down the screen, the colors began to shift. One turned a steady, reliable blue, but then, another one began to glow with a blinding, radiant light. It turned gold!
A Gold Legendary!
Holy crap, it finally happened! I actually got a gold!
Xu Luo jumped up from his bed in a state of pure shock, nearly cracking his head against the low ceiling. A gold item meant S-grade qualityâthe rank of a Demon God. Was he about to receive a power that would instantly propel him to the level of the Seven? Was he about to become an unstoppable force in Liyue?
The notifications began to flash across his vision, and he held his breath.
Congratulations to the host! You have obtained a bag of iron ore.
Congratulations to the host! You have obtained a pair of white leggings, Jean's hip-length style.
Congratulations to the host! You have obtained a box of Ferrero chocolate hazelnut balls.
Congratulations to the host! You have obtained a Silver Sword (Grade C).
Congratulations to the host! You have obtained a Super Invincible and Indestructible White Food Stall Plastic Chair (Grade S) from the Power of the Underworld.
Xu Luo stared at the list. He read it again. Then he read it a third time.
It was true. It was really happening. He was a legendary traveler with the power to shake the world, and he had just spent his S-grade luck on a piece of outdoor furniture. He wanted to scream, he wanted to bang his head against the wall, but he was too stunned to move. He had been expecting a god-tier weapon, an ancient artifact, or a massive boost to his demonic constitution. Instead, he got a chair.
Even with the fancy prefix of being "Super Invincible and Indestructible," it was still just a white, plastic, stackable chair that you would find at a cheap roadside food stall.
Damn it! What kind of joke is this!
Furious and feeling utterly betrayed by the universe, Xu Luo summoned the item from his space and threw it toward the floor with all his might.
With a resounding bang, the plastic chair hit the wood. The floorboards beneath it instantly shattered, leaving a jagged hole in the ground where the impact had occurred. The chair itself, however, remained perfectly intact. There wasn't a single scratch on the white plastic. There wasn't even a scuff mark.
It truly was S-grade quality. It was a chair that could survive the end of the world.
I can't believe this...
Xu Luo was so angry he felt like he was about to have a stroke. A Gold Legendary! A divine-grade S-rank pull! And it was a plastic food stall chair. What was he supposed to do with this thing? He wanted to demand an answer from the system. He wanted to know what possible use he had for a piece of furniture that was indestructible. Did the system want him to sit on it while he watched the world burn?
He let out a long, defeated sigh and straightened the chair, placing it carefully next to the hole in his floor. He had no more draws left, so there was nothing to do but accept his fate.
He decided to sit down and test it out. He wanted to see if a gold-quality chair offered a gold-quality experience.
Huh.
As it turned out, it wasn't just a regular chair. The moment he sat down, he felt an unbelievable level of comfort. Despite being made of hard, indestructible plastic, it felt better than the most expensive luxury sofa in the Jade Chamber. It supported his back perfectly, and he felt a strange sense of calm wash over him.
He leaned back, summoned his Yamato katana, and planted the tip of the scabbard into the floor in front of him. He rested his hands on the hilt and assumed the iconic posture of a certain legendary man waiting for his brother at the top of a giant tree. He looked out his small window, trying to imagine himself as a mysterious powerhouse.
Maybe I can use this to intimidate people?
He imagined a massive battle looming. The generals of the Fatui and the Qixing would be facing off on the battlefield, the air thick with tension and elemental energy. Then, in the middle of it all, he would calmly pull out a white plastic food stall chair and take a seat.
On second thought... maybe not.
He shook his head. It looked ridiculous. It looked silly. No matter how indestructible it was, sitting on a plastic chair in the middle of a war zone would make him look like a lunatic, not a legend.
He sighed and stood up, looking at the rest of his haul. The only other things of even slight value were the pair of leggings and a box of chocolate balls. He popped a chocolate into his mouth, savoring the taste. At least the system provided good snacks.
He looked at the white chair one last time before dismissing it back into his inventory. He had a lot to think about before his next broadcast. He needed to make sure the next video was a masterpiece of emotional manipulation. If he was going to get stuck with plastic chairs, he at least wanted enough points to pull for something that could actually help him.
He lay back down on his bed, the taste of chocolate still on his tongue. The world of Teyvat was still moving, the people were still gossiping, and the gods were still watching. He was a traveler with a golden chair and a plan to turn the continent upside down. It wasn't the heroic start he had envisioned, but it was certainly unique.
As he drifted off to sleep, he made a mental note to check the comment section of his live room. He wanted to see if anyone had any suggestions for the next victim. After all, if he had to suffer through the absurdity of his rewards, the rest of the world might as well share in the chaos. The era of the Second Creation was only just beginning, and he was determined to make it the most memorable event in the history of the seven nations. He closed his eyes, the image of a white plastic chair standing firm against a landslide of gold and mora flickering in his mind. It was a strange world, but it was his now.