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A carver who sells offal? The term was familiar enough to the residents of Liyue. Beef offal was a common street delicacy, prepared from various organ meats and slow-cooked to perfection in savory broths.
It was a staple of the harbor culinary scene. But who was this Master Ke mentioned by the mysterious screen? In a city as large as Liyue, there were many carvers and many cooks, yet no one could recall a famous vendor by that specific name.
Hu Tao leaned forward, her eyes sparkling with mischief. So, this so-called video is about someone named Master Ke. I wonder if he needs any funeral services for his cattle? Arataki Itto let out a loud, boisterous snort from across the ocean in Inazuma. Cut the chatter! What kind of interesting story could a snack seller possibly have? I want to see some real action!
Venti, however, merely strummed a phantom lyre in his hands, a playful smirk on his face. My intuition tells me that something very interesting is about to happen. Keqing felt a sudden chill run down her spine, her fingers twitching. Why do I have such an ominous premonition hanging over my head? Sayu, tucked away in a corner of the virtual room, yawned widely. I think I must be dreaming. This is all too loud for a nap.
Amidst the rising curiosity and the constant chatter of the live broadcast room, the large screen finally flickered to life. The image settled on a familiar sight: the main thoroughfare of Liyue Harbor. The streets were teeming with traffic, and the air seemed to hum with the vibrant energy of the marketplace.
A cheerful, upbeat Liyue folk song began to play in the background, making the entire scene look incredibly harmonious and peaceful. It was the perfect picture of daily life in the Land of Contracts.
A few seconds later, two familiar figures walked into the camera frame. It was Mr. Zhongli, the esteemed consultant of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, accompanied by Childe, the Eleventh Fatui Harbinger.
They were walking side by side, though the way Childe trailed slightly behind made him look less like a diplomat and more like Zhongli's personal attendant or a wealthy follower. The contrast between the dignified consultant and the energetic warrior was striking as they navigated the busy streets.
Childe gave a soft laugh as he watched the screen. Mr. Zhongli, it's really interesting that the first people we see are the two of us. I didn't think we were that famous. Zhongli adjusted his coat, his expression unreadable. If I remember correctly, the two of us have never actually gone shopping together in quite this manner.
It seems this screen takes some liberties with reality. Hu Tao's eyes narrowed as she looked at her consultant. Hehe, Zhongli, you're really something. You've even managed to get a Fatui Harbinger to act as your follower. Since he's right there, can you ask him to clear all those outstanding accounts you've left at the parlor? You know, the ones that make my wallet cry?
Zhongli cleared his throat awkwardly. Ahem, Hall Master, I assure you there is absolutely no such arrangement between us. Master Mao chimed in from his kitchen, his voice booming through the broadcast.
Mr. Zhongli's bill from last month alone was fourteen thousand Mora. Master Hu, please come over and settle the bill when you have a moment. It's been sitting on my counter for weeks! Hu Tao's face twisted into a mask of pure fury. Zhongli! You better have a good explanation for this!
Zhongli looked away, his voice barely a whisper. Er... I seem to have forgotten my wallet again. Paimon crossed her arms, floating indignantly. It sounds like someone spends a lot of money they don't have and relies on others for a free meal.
Paimon would never do that unless it was for really good slime condensate! Ying nudged her companion gently. Paimon, don't talk nonsense. Let's just watch and see where they're going.
On the big screen, Zhongli and Childe continued their stroll toward the snack street. Suddenly, a loud, rhythmic hawking sound echoed from the front, drowning out the ambient noise of the market.
Sell offal! Delicious beef offal right here! Come and try the Carver's offal! The pride of Liyue and the exclusive secret recipe of all Teyvat!
The voice was sharp, energetic, and carried a very distinct cadence that made several viewers in the live broadcast room freeze. Ningguang's eyes widened slightly. This voice... it sounds remarkably like a certain someone we know.
Ganyu adjusted her glasses, looking confused. It feels very familiar, doesn't it? I could swear I've heard that tone in a meeting before. Beidou let out a low whistle. No way. It couldn't be. If it is, she's never going to live this down.
As the video progressed, a small, brightly colored snack cart appeared on the screen. A large wooden signboard hung above it, with the words "Carved Beef Offal" written in bold strokes. Standing behind the stall, waving a ladle and shouting to the crowd, was a figure that left everyone speechless.
It was Keqing, the Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing. However, her appearance was slightly altered; she was wearing a comical outfit, and the word "Immunity" was written in large characters across her chest as if she were a character in a game with special resistances.
Keqing practically fell out of her chair. Pfft! What on earth is that? What am I wearing? Ganyu blinked slowly, her mind struggling to process the image. Ah, this is quite a departure from your usual office attire. Ningguang turned to her colleague with a subtle, teasing smile. It really is you, Keqing.
That dress is certainly a bold choice for the Yuheng of the Qixing. Beidou laughed heartily, slapping her knee. Never mind the dress, that outfit actually seems to fit her quite well! Maybe you should wear it to the next meeting.
Jean looked puzzled, her brow furrowed. Keqing, the Yuheng Star, also works part-time selling offal? I thought the Liyue Qixing were much busier than the Knights of Favonius. Diluc added his thoughts with his usual stoic tone. If I remember correctly, the Yuheng's family is primarily involved in the real estate and construction business. This seems like an odd career shift. Kujou Sara shook her head in disbelief.
Does the Liyue Qixing stay so close to the people that they engage in side jobs like this? It's highly unusual for leadership. Arataki Itto's eyes lit up. The Liyue Seven Stars are there? Then I'm definitely going to get a seat at that stall and order the biggest bowl they have!
Xiangling, ever the enthusiast for new recipes, leaned in close to the screen. Keqing knows how to make beef offal? I really need to go and ask her for some advice on that secret recipe! I wonder what spices she uses. Keqing's face was now a deep shade of crimson as she shouted at the screen. I am not! I have not! I have never sold offal in my entire life! This is a complete fabrication!
On the screen, hearing the Master Carver's enthusiastic shouting, Zhongli walked over with his attendant Childe in tow. They took a seat at a small, rickety wooden table. Zhongli looked up at the vendor with a calm, dignified air as if he were ordering a gourmet meal at Xinyue Kiosk. Give me a portion of offal.
My friend here will pay for it. Childe laughed, pulling out a heavy bag of Mora. It's just a piece of beef offal. It's a small thing, really. I'll treat you. Give me one as well! I'm curious about the flavor.
The Master Carver on screen grinned. Okay! Just wait a moment! You won't be disappointed!
After receiving the order, the Keqing on screen didn't just pick up a bowl. Instead, she grabbed a large portion of raw offal and threw it high into the air with a dramatic flourish. Seeing this, the viewers expected a display of high-level culinary skill or perhaps some delicate knife work.
Instead, the version of Keqing on screen drew a massive meat cleaver that crackled with purple electricity. She took a deep breath, her eyes flashing with power. She was preparing to unleash her ultimate technique for a two-Mora snack.
The sword light is like me! I shall cut off all the offal!
Immediately, a blinding flash of thunder erupted from the cart. Among the flickering silhouettes and the crackle of lightning, her sword light wove into a gorgeous, intricate net of purple energy. She zipped back and forth across the screen with incredible speed, her blade striking the airborne meat with surgical precision. By the time she landed in a cool, stylized pose, the offal had been perfectly sliced into bite-sized pieces, falling neatly into the bowls.
The real Keqing, watching this from the broadcast room, felt like she was about to spit out a mouthful of blood from sheer embarrassment. Arataki Itto was practically rolling on the floor. Hahahaha! I'm laughing so hard! The sword is as light as me, and it kills all the offal! Is this really how the Liyue Seven Stars operate? This is too funny! Timmy, watching from the bridge in Mondstadt, stared with wide eyes. Wow! What a powerful swordsmanship! That's so cool! I want to cut fish like that!
Ganyu looked at her friend with pity. Keqing, you... uh... I didn't know you were so talented with a cleaver. Maybe we can use this for the next festival? Xiangling nodded vigorously. Keqing is simply a genius! Using her elemental burst to cut offal is a brilliant use of efficiency. It saves so much prep time! Ayaka Kamisato sighed softly, her fan covering her mouth. In terms of being close to the people, there is still a massive gap between my efforts and those of Lady Keqing. Truly inspiring.
Zhongli took a sip of his tea, though his hand trembled slightly from suppressed amusement. Cough... this must be what the system called a spoof. I certainly don't remember the Yuheng Star doing such a thing at the harbor. Lisa giggled, her eyes sparkling with ideas. Well, maybe I can find something else to do with the Electro element. Perhaps a lightning-powered tea brewer?
Keqing was at her breaking point, her voice cracking as she screamed at the virtual interface. It's "Cut off all the evil," not "Cut off all the offal!" I'm not selling offal! I've never sold offal! Stop saying offal! She felt like she was going crazy. Why was this live broadcast room persecuting her like this in front of the entire world? She just wanted to do her paperwork in peace, but now the entire continent thought she was a lightning-fast street chef.
Everyone was laughing, and the title Master Ke was already sticking to her name like sticky honey. Keqing covered her face with her hands, wishing the floor would just open up and swallow her whole. The laughter continued, echoing through the nations of Teyvat as the video played on.