The next morning felt unreal.
Ivan woke up expecting something.
A notification. A comment. A number.
Anything.
There was nothing.
For a few seconds, he just lay there, staring at the ceiling.
Then it hit him again.
The channel.
Gone.
"…Right."
School
He forced himself up.
Got dressed.
Walked to school like nothing had happened.
Like the last year of his life hadn't just been erased in one click.
But something was off.
His head felt… foggy.
When he sat down in class and the teacher placed the paper on his desk—
His stomach dropped.
A test.
Ivan stared at it.
Blank.
"…I forgot."
The questions blurred together. Words he normally would've understood instantly now felt distant, unfamiliar.
His pen moved.
Stopped.
Moved again.
Nothing clicked.
For the first time in a long time—
He didn't know what he was doing.
After
When the bell rang, Ivan didn't move immediately.
Students laughed. Talked. Compared answers.
Normal.
Everything was normal.
Except him.
He looked down at his paper.
Messy.
Incomplete.
Wrong.
"…Great."
The Weeks After
It didn't get better.
Days passed.
Then weeks.
Ivan stopped eating properly.
One meal. Sometimes none.
He didn't feel hungry anyway.
He spent most of his time in his room.
Phone in hand.
Scrolling.
Searching his own name.
The clips were still there.
Still spreading.
Still getting comments.
"This guy disappeared after getting exposed 💀"
"Fell off so hard"
"Knew he wasn't built for it"
Each comment hit.
Even when he told himself it didn't matter—
It did.
Pressure
At night, the thoughts got louder.
His brother.
His grandmother.
His family.
Everyone.
They didn't say it directly.
But he knew.
"He's gonna make it."
"He's different."
"He'll take us out of this."
That's what they believed.
That's what he believed.
And now?
Nothing.
No channel.
No progress.
No money.
Not even that small pocket change anymore.
Ivan sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the floor.
His voice was barely a whisper.
"…I was supposed to be the one."
Identity
It wasn't just YouTube.
That was the problem.
It was what it represented.
A way out.
Proof he could do something.
Proof he wasn't going to end up like before.
And now that it was gone—
That old fear crept back in.
Slow.
Silent.
Deadly.
"What if nothing changes?"
"What if you end up the same again?"
Ivan clenched his fists.
"No…"
His breathing got heavier.
"I'm not going back."
Escape
So he did the only thing that made the noise stop.
He played.
Video games.
Hours.
Then more hours.
At first, it felt like wasting time.
Pathetic.
But after a while—
He understood.
It wasn't about the game.
It was about silence.
For a few hours…
He didn't have to think.
Decision
School continued.
Even if his mind wasn't fully there.
And eventually—
A thought formed.
Clearer than the rest.
"I need a backup."
Not hope.
Not dreams.
Something stable.
Something guaranteed.
So he made a decision.
High school.
Then college.
A path.
Safe.
Reliable.
Something his old self would've probably taken.
But even after deciding—
Nothing changed.
Ivan was still sitting in the same spot.
Same room.
Same thoughts.
Time Moves Anyway
Days passed.
Then weeks.
Then months.
Even if he didn't move—
Time did.
First Day
College.
Ivan walked through the halls quietly.
People everywhere.
New faces.
New environment.
It went…
Fine.
Nothing special.
Nothing bad.
Just…
Normal.
And for once—
That was enough.
The Spark
When he got home, he dropped his bag and sat down at his desk.
Out of habit, he opened his laptop.
No YouTube.
No analytics.
Just… the internet.
Scrolling.
Clicking.
Mindlessly.
Until something caught his eye.
A video.
Title:
"How I Made €10,000 at 17 with Dropshipping (Beginner Guide)"
Ivan paused.
"…Dropshipping?"
He clicked.
As the video played, his eyes slowly sharpened.
Selling products.
Without owning them.
Using suppliers.
Marketing.
Systems.
His fingers tapped lightly against the desk.
For the first time in weeks—
Something felt different.
Not excitement.
Not hope.
Something quieter.
Focus.
Closing
Ivan leaned forward slightly, eyes locked on the screen.
"…This…"
A small pause.
"…this could work."
Not like YouTube.
Not dependent on people liking him.
Not based on validation.
A system.
Something he could control.
And deep down—
After everything that happened—
That's exactly what he needed.