Yearning.
I have a strong, despicable feeling towards this one word. If I get to change one thing in the world then it would be to change the unstoppability of time. I think Ralph really gave a warning of how fast time travels like an old gypsy man. His request to time was not accepted even after offering time the greatest and kingly pleasure but it appeared that time would rather be a gypsy man and roam around than be a king and stay still in one place.
It is surprising but does it know that it is ruthless in many certain cases where it should've stopped or slowed down but it didn't?
I am speaking in such a way about time because it really was cruel to me for flying away at such an immediate speed when I was with the woman who seemed to impress me in such a way which is incomprehensible for me to define myself to acknowledge clearly.
I kept staring at the paper on my hand after I stopped walking. My face couldn't hide the smile anymore when I realized this time I not only got her name, but also her contact number.
I have her number.
Which means I am not clearly any stranger to her anymore. It seems like a really good progress for me. My mind can't find the answer to why a desire to be known to her is growing inside me. This was the second time we had met accompanied by the most hours we had spent together for the first time. Her smile when she first saw the Entice garden was almost unseen if my attention was not all drawn to her face. Her eyes sometimes are filled with sanguinity but within a second, she hides it into a blank expression where it shows she expects nothing but a precise hushed atmosphere.
There are heaps of questions arising inside my head and all of them lead to only her. There is something about her that has enchanted me, perhaps a side of her I had seen along with an unseen part I want to be familiarized with. It is such an unbelievable issue that she alone has made me so much at a loss and the surprising part is, she doesn't even know she has become a permanent inhabitant inside my mind.
I felt a hand on my shoulder which made me flicker so I looked in the direction and there was a man around twice my age looking at me.
"Yes?" I don't know what else to say. He took his hand down after looking at the paper in my hand and then me back and forth.
"Are you okay? You have been standing like a statue and smiling at the piece of paper." He said with concern.
I don't even know I have been like this for enough time to be noticed by people passing me. Every time I start to think about Riley, I end up not realizing how much time she snatches away from me.
"Oh I didn't realize it was so obvious." I folded the paper and put it inside my pocket and then looked at him.
He smiled and said "It's alright young man. It was not so obvious. I went past you 15 minutes ago to buy some pills for my family when I saw you at the exact position. While returning, you were still the same so out of concern I asked you."
It was so awkwardly shambolic for me.
I smiled at him, "I apologize for the trouble. I was just thinking about someone."
Someone who is adroit at hypnotizing people or else why would I be so lost in my own thoughts which are only about her.
He laughed, "Oh to be young again. Go to your home, kid. It has passed 10 at night. Think of her after reaching home."
And then he started walking with a clear and steady pace. He is right, I should go home and… wait a minute, how does he know I am thinking about a woman?
I looked back and tried to yell, "That's not how you think it is… Or not for now at this moment."
But my voice was barely heard because I had no intention of disturbing the neighbours. I had better make my way home otherwise I will attract more people to get the wrong idea about me just like he did.
Mac and Mom must be sleeping by now since it is pretty late at night. I opened the door carefully and went to my room. I was wary of the staircase to not make any cracking noise which would wake up Mom.
I slowly opened my room's door and going inside I heedfully closed it. They must've had a long day, that's why I don't want them to break their sleep over some trivial matter.
"Why are you so late? You were not about to catch fireflies this time." I looked left at the bed which is placed beside the window and saw Mac laying down and feeling at ease.
"Why are you on my bed?" I asked him, taking off my shoes and placing them in the shoe cabinet.
"Your mattress is softer than mine, plus it is brand-new." He put his focus on me, "You haven't answered me yet. Why are you late?" He pulled himself up and sat properly while I took off my black long-coat and hung it on the stand.
"Why? Missed me so much-" He didn't even let me finish and threw a pillow at me, but I caught it, "Hey- it's my new pillow. Dare not mess around with my stuff, Mac."
"Then answer me. You said you were going to get me some breakfast from the bakery. I had waited for you for 3 hours but at the end, I had to eat those oats bars and plain milk. So, I have the right to know where you were the whole time." He is looking at me with a dead serious look.
I sighed looking down, "I went to the Entice Garden."
His expressions are quite screaming at me although he is out of words. I let him take his time to find what to say. He shook his face in disbelief and looked at me, processing my words again, he finally said, "Entice Garden? From where did you come across the idea of having breakfast in the Entice Garden? Wait- above everything- you FORGOT about me?!"
"Go and sleep. I'm going for a shower." I didn't make eye contact with him after saying this, but I can feel his glare at me. I took a sweatshirt and sweatpants from the closet and went into the bathroom without looking at him.
Nothing is better than a cold shower at night.
This might be one of the longest showers I have taken. I am receiving a feeling that it has passed midnight. I looked in the bathroom mirror, blowing my hair with the hair-dryer. Mac must've gone to his bed and slept. I will bring something for him tomorrow otherwise he'd stay enraged with me. It's not that I forgot about him but my mind was all on that one precise lady. The moment I saw her sitting and looking outside of the window, I forgot why I had come to the bakery. The sunrays were portraying on her face making it look peerless to every other beauteous mortal having their existence. After catching the glimpse of her, the thought I had was, not making it a hapless fate. She drew me towards herself and all I was able to do was float wherever the waves took me. My purpose to the bakery took another turn and I ended up ordering a regular breakfast meal before walking towards her.
I looked like a dimwit when I caught myself smiling in the mirror. A spell has been cast on me by her and I, with delectation, volunteer to be the fool.
I ought to go to sleep by now and plan where I will take her the next day. I reckon I have found an interesting place, where she'd be able to witness another phenomenal sight of Island Elysian.
I placed the hairdryer in the small wooden cabinet then turned the lights off. I got out of the bathroom before closing the door.
"Who were you with?" I heard a familiar voice, so I looked at the bed and Mac was still there, eyes sleepy but he was forcing himself not to fall asleep.
"Why are you still here? I thought you were sleeping in your bed by now.", I asked him before sitting on the small couch near the bed.
"I have to ask you questions about my morning breakfast otherwise I won't get any good sleep tonight." He changed his position and sat facing me in the middle of the bed, "What took you so long? It's exactly 12:12 at night, meaning you took nearly 2 hours."
"An hour and a half. Not 2 hours, Mac." I crossed my arms.
He shook his head, "Nearly 2 hours. I could've finished a debate on should school give us homework on weekends or not by then."
"Come to the main topic, Mac. I have to sleep.", I calmly said.
He made a strong eye contact with me, "Who were you with in the Entice Garden? You would not remember much about the way to the place and you would definitely not go there without having any breakfast."
So he was thinking about the whole factor the entire time while I was taking the best shower of my life. Quite foreseeable. I can't lie to him as I know he'd ask more questions which would be related to my answers as well as the fact that he'd not leave this room until gets the true reason. I can't bring myself to decide whether I ought to praise his unbending mindset or complain about the force he is putting on himself and me.
My lack of response made him roll his eyes, "Don't tell me it was that gorgeous firefly-catcher."
"How do you know?" I frowned a bit while asking. The chances of him knowing it should be negative yet I see another story here. Did he follow me just for breakfast? I'll bury him alive if he does.
"Really?! I was just mocking but it turns out to be the real truth!!", he widened his eyes.
"Shh! Lower your voice, you moron. Don't wake up mom.", I reminded him after taking a glance at my door and then putting my focus on him.
He took a breath to calm himself and then looked at me, "What is her name? Don't tell me you forgot to ask this time as well. If so, then I am ready to disown you as my own brother. I don't raise stupid."
I scoffed and threw the same pillow at him which he once threw at me before going to the shower, "I raised you and it's not vice versa."
Then I calmed my voice down and said, "Her name is Riley."
He smiled, "Such a pretty name. What happened? How did you meet her?"
"Becky's Bakery. She was there for breakfast. I saw her, had a few chats and took her to the Entice Garden." I tried my best to tell him the situation as short as possible because I am wise enough to know that if I tell him everything in detail, it will take me an hour or two.
He frowned, "That's it? Are you not going to tell me everything?"
I sighed, "You have school tomorrow. Go to bed. I will tell you everything later."
"No, I don't. Letting you know, tomorrow is my holiday.", a huge smile appears on his face, "Now tell me everything."
I made an assumption that fate has favored me enough today which is why it is on a break at this moment. It'd be good for me not to make any further delay and give him what he wants otherwise he'd snitch to Mom on me about things I'm yet to know (which he does most of the time).
It took me more than an hour to tell him everything, every single detail about how I met her, what we had a conversation on and how the day had gone. What I found odd is he didn't ask me any questions, rather he listened with great attention.
"Say something. You are staring at me like an owl." I finally said.
He carefully said, "You… You do know what red gardenia means, right?"
I didn't reply to him but nodded.
"I don't think you do, otherwise why would you give it to her. Don't think of me as an idiot. I read about meaningful flowers in my father's library." he said.
I crossed my arms again before saying, "Mind you, Our father. Besides, I know what red gardenia means, Mac. I found it so I gave it to her."
He rubbed his temple and said, "You went into the floral shop but didn't get her any flowers from there, rather gave her a red gardenia from the bushes and on top of that, you told her it has a meaning."
He looked at me, "Care to explain?"
"The floral lady was pursuing me to give her my number which made me uncomfortable. That's why I left the floral shop as soon as I fathomed the address and so I couldn't get any flowers for Riley." I tried to explain myself.
He nodded a bit but then became more serious, "Comprehensible, yet, The red gardenia? You were in the Entice Garden. You could've given her yellow roses."
He made a really good point so I didn't even try to defend myself.
"I should've thought about that." That's all I could say.
He rubbed his face while saying, "Now what if she does some research and finds out the meaning? How will you explain."
It is a bit concerning. My mind went all blank when I saw the red gardenia in the bushes. The only sentence I had in my mind was to give her the flower notwithstanding knowing the meaning the whole time. I can't find the reason why my mind stops working when I'm with her. It feels like a magnetic force causing turbulence in my system.
Mac looked closely at me while I was trying to come up with a solution and then he said, "Sweven, have you started growing feelings for her?"
He made me stunned by his question but I managed to ask, "What exactly do you mean by that?"
He took a big sigh and looked at me, "Yellow roses are the best option for a new friendship. You were surrounded by it but you hadn't even thought of giving her a yellow rose. You could've also given her a peony and it'd be nice also since it means good luck."
He put all his attention on me while saying, "Yet, you choose red gardenia which means unspoken love. People who have secret love for someone give red gardenias. Any Gardenias in particular."
I don't like the way he is going but he is not wrong either. I would very much like to defend myself right now but it appears I have no words to guard me.
"You took her to the treehouse also. I can't remember the time you took me there after your arrival from Germany. Apart from that, you never took any girl to the treehouse ever. I thought it was something sensitive to you."
I tried to defend myself, "I just wanted her to see the abendrot and enjoy the sublime beauty of Island Elysian."
Mac raised his left eyebrow, "Then I'll pretend you made a point but what about social media?"
"What about that?" I asked.
He got out of the bed to take the piece of paper in which Riley wrote her number and username from the pocket of my coat. After taking the paper, he looked at me seriously, "You asked her for her social media platform where you yourself barely use any platform. I found you active only on WhatsApp. Guess what? No story, only chat and call. That's who you are."
"It's not really a big deal. It will gradually become one of my habits." I said.
Social media was reflected as a waste of time in my opinion. I had to keep it at arm's length to gain the achievements I had targeted as my aim when I was in Germany. Now that I have graduated, I can use whatever app I want to. Perhaps at first, it'd be a bit problematic but progressively, it'll be in control.
"You seem to be dodging my whole point. You are pushing yourself out of your comfort-zone to make her feel at ease. Something within you is changing." he pointed out a valid reason.
I went to him and snatched the paper from his hand then put it inside my pocket but I couldn't come up with any possible response to justify myself which made me stay wordless.
"Are you mesmerized by her?", that's all he asked me.
The question finally appeared which gave me a bit of an unsteady feeling inside me. I had thought about it but being asked by someone hadn't come to my head. It'd be a lie if I refuse, hence, I calm myself for the upcoming acknowledgement.
I sighed and sat on the couch, "I can't deny the fact that I have been enchanted by her. I don't even have the ability to identify what feelings I'm carrying within me."
I looked at Mac, " The decision I at the end made is to sail along wherever the tide takes me."
Mac sat on the edge of the bed and calmly said, "It's best for you to figure your feelings out by yourself. Where are you planning to take her tomorrow?"
I looked at him, "The Wabi Tree. I know it was located more than half a century ago by the first discoverer who happened to be Japanese. The crest captures the serene landscape along with containing the precise atmosphere I suspect she'd be pleased with."
Mac was hearing me the whole time but after I finished my statement, he gave me a strange look with a big grin on his face. That is not so fortunate I would say since I am well aware that this specific smile of his is a I-want-something smile.
I'd be grateful if it was either any money problem or breakfast but it doesn't appear to be such a case. I'd be blessed if it is not what i think it is.
"What is it which you are after?", I nevertheless care to ask.
He slowly speaks, "Remember I let you know tomorrow I have no school?"
I am not blessed enough cause I know it is what I think it is, "No."
His smile disappears, "Why?! I just want to accompany you to the tree Wabi."
"Sure, when every letter in French makes sense." I rolled my eyes and stood up from the couch.
"It's not fair. Please, I want to see Riley, moreover, it's my holiday. Just let me fathom what spell has been cast on you.", he is practically begging me.
"It's your holiday. Not your birthday.", I replied with a cold stare.
"Then take it as my birthday", he gave me a sweet smile.
It didn't make me shift my stare, "How about death day? I'll arrange the funeral."
His mood switched into irritation, "Either take me with you or explain to mom about everything including the gorgeous lady."
I frowned, giving him a death stare, "You dare not."
He raised one of his eyebrows while saying, "This or that."
Never have I ever envisioned in my own nightmares that this kid would blackmail me using Riley. This has gone beyond my expectations which means discernibly I have to take this evil's pawn with me. I can perceive the reason behind not being blessed enough however it ought not to convey I'd be wretched. I palpably can sense that fate is rolling its dice on me.
"Alright." I forcefully agreed to take him with me.
His face lit up as he started clapping as though he won a battle. It doesn't affect the damage he did to my good mood. I rubbed my face in defeat while he kept celebrating with himself.
"Go to bed, otherwise there's a high chance I'll change my answer.", I gave him a warning.
He gave me a nod with a huge beam on his face and without saying anything, he started to walk towards the door, but he stopped.
"Sweven" he called me to draw my attention then he proceeded to say, "You should've given her a lilac, specifically the purple one."
A purple lilac? I can't recall what was the meaning behind it. It has been long enough since I have read the book in my father's library where the meaning behind each flower is written.
Mac opened the door and then said, "I read it is the best for love at first sight."
I tried to throw a book at him, but he got out of the room and closed the door, escaping from me without any injury. Luck has been on his side tonight.
I kept the book at its place and turned off the lights. Mac wasn't wrong when he said my bed is cosy. I snuggled in the cosy bed fixing the blanket on me, but I didn't turn off the lamp, rather I took my phone and the piece of paper where Riley had given me her number and username.
I would dislike admitting Mac had enough points in almost every statement he made. I skimmed the paper through and then saved her contact on my phone. Then I looked at the username carefully after realizing I can't grasp which app she gave me her account of. I started to download almost every social media app on my phone to search for her. It might take a while, so I closed the phone and put it on the bedside table with the piece of paper.
Mac was right while saying what if she searched for the meaning behind the red gardenia and worse, found out it means unspoken love.
Would she still keep me as her tourist guide?
Would she still go to Tree Wabi with me?
Or would she still stay in Island Elysian?
There are thousands of questions starting to wake up in my head. I should've given a proper thought before giving her the red gardenia or despite giving her the flower, I shouldn't have said it contains a special meaning.
I can't prevent the past occurrence which implies that I have to face the repercussions it takes me towards. I kept looking at the paper on the bedside table and thinking about conversation in the Entice Garden.
Her perspective bears no expectations but only preparation for any outcome the situation takes her. She is somehow strangely secretive yet vulnerable. I can scarcely read her yet her expressions are discreetly open. Out of everything, if I had to create a list of things I grew fond of about her, how observant she is would be in the first place.
You have ostensibly fascinated me, Riley Deane.