"I really did do something wrong. If I had actually killed those people, there wouldn't be many paths left for me to choose, pathetically few even..."
"Either I get thrown in jail, and those nobles would definitely find ways to have me tortured to death there. But I can't truly die, so I would just 'Return' again and again amidst the torture..."
Having calmed down, Li Wu began to think back on the terrifying ending he had almost brought about.
"There's another path: being forced to leave school, becoming a wanted criminal, an enemy of humanity, constantly using Return by Death to find a way to survive. But this isn't without a price. I would definitely kill more people. Some might deserve it, but there might be innocent ones too."
"By then, I would never be able to turn back..."
Li Wu stood in the shade of the trees, his shadow obscured, his expression turning solemn.
After entering the state of depersonalization, his way of thinking would undergo a drastic change. He would no longer consider personal emotions or social factors. His only goal would be to clear the game, regardless of how many times he died or the methods used.
Kiana and his 'depersonalized self' were thinking from completely different premises.
His 'self' thought of using the most direct method, maximizing the ability of Return by Death to nip all potential crises in the bud, regardless of cost or consequences.
Kiana thought of ensuring a good life was protected first, then using her power and influence to mete out appropriate punishment to the other party.
Others might not be able to guarantee that the children of nobles would be brought to justice, but she could, because she had the Kaslana suffix to her name.
Looked at this way, Kiana had saved him once again.
From the moment he met Kiana in the morning, she seemed to have noticed his abnormality and was trying to change it in her own way.
"And I gave her a slap with all my might. She must hate me to death now..."
Li Wu tilted his head back, his breathing becoming a bit heavy.
Kiana didn't know about his Return by Death ability, so from her perspective at the time, he was just a paranoid, chuunibyou teenager having an episode, thinking the whole world didn't understand him—a madman who talked about killing all his enemies.
Regardless of whether this madman had the ability or not, if he really walked down that path, there would be no turning back.
If it were him, he would definitely stay far away. Who knew if this madman would one day imagine him as a "perpetrator"...
Li Wu realized what Kiana must have been thinking at that moment.
It was the consequences.
Those four people who wanted to kill others could die for all he cared. But if he did it openly, he wouldn't be able to stand on his own feet in terms of public opinion, morality, or law.
And as an ordinary person, he would have killed three people from the Far East nobility.
In the end, he would either become a prisoner tortured to death by jailers bribed by the Far East nobles, or become a fugitive hunted by everyone. The former was more likely.
At the very least, he shouldn't have left traces. Even contacting Raven for cleanup would have been a much better decision than killing them directly. His decision at that time was indeed too impulsive.
In a state of depersonalization, my brain is purely abnormal!
The bell for the lunch break rang. The students on the playground returned to their classrooms one after another to prepare for their afternoon nap. The school store also closed for business. Only Li Wu stood in a secluded corner, thinking about how to make amends.
It wasn't just for the sake of the subsequent plot; it was also because he truly believed he had done something wrong.
When Kiana hit him, she clearly didn't use much force. If she had really used her strength, with her powerful superhuman physique, he could have triggered a Return by Death on the spot.
But when his depersonalized self retaliated out of anger, he had mobilized all his strength and slapped Kiana fiercely across the face.
Li Wu once again recalled the cold expression on Kiana's face as she turned to leave, as if she wanted to draw a clear line between them.
"Argh! I give up! I'm just a seventeen-year-old ordinary high school student who's a part-time doujin artist. I've never had a girlfriend, how would I know how to placate a girl? System, help me run a simulation. If I apologize, will she forgive me?"
Li Wu anxiously ruffled his hair.
Only after turning his hair into a bird's nest did he remember he had the system to help.
After all, the system could even detect a character's emotions. A small matter like running a simulation shouldn't be difficult, right?
Reality quickly slapped him in the face—
[That function does not exist. Even if it did, I would not run a simulation for you. When you do something wrong, you should have the proper attitude and apologize sincerely, instead of trying to be clever and putting on a flippant, cavalier appearance to forcefully save face.]
"Okay, I get it. But what if she doesn't accept it? Kiana has too much subsequent plot. If she really won't forgive me, it will be very troublesome later..."
[That is not something you should be considering. Apologizing is to let the other person know your remorse, not to make them forgive the mistakes you have made. As for how to make amends, that is a topic you need to research. If Kiana Kaslana really breaks off with you completely because of this, you can only swallow the bitter fruit. No one is anyone's plaything. Kiana Kaslana has the right to refuse you.]
The system's reminder poured a bucket of cold water on Li Wu.
But soon, Li Wu understood. Wrong was wrong, and it couldn't be covered up with any excuse.
Should he run up to Kiana and tell her that his earlier self was in a state of depersonalization and it wasn't his real intention?
That was a bit humorous. What was the difference between that and a certain puppet who claimed to have been betrayed three times, killed many innocent people, then tampered with the Irminsul to erase past history?
If you make a mistake, you have to own up to it. If you get beaten, you have to stand up straight.
"I understand. Before everything is over, I will do everything I can to make amends. Whether she hits me or scolds me, I won't run away!"
Li Wu walked out from the shade of the trees and into the sunny playground.
It was now the lunch break, and the playground was empty. The hot wind blew from the school gate onto his face, and a faint burning sensation emerged.
Growl...
An uncooperative growl suddenly came from his stomach. Li Wu then remembered that he had been thinking about the rooftop incident and forgot to buy lunch.
But the hunger wasn't that severe yet. At least for him, he could endure it a bit longer. Chiba Academy wasn't like the schools in his original world. Usually, after a few classes in the afternoon, school would be over.
"There seems to be a P.E. class in the afternoon. The P.E. teacher usually only teaches for half the class and then lets everyone have free activity."
"I'll find a chance to apologize to her during P.E. class."
Li Wu walked toward the school building and stopped at the classroom door, hesitantly looking at the closed front and back doors.
During the lunch break, the front and back doors of the classroom would be closed. To prevent things from being stolen while everyone was sleeping, or in case of any accidents, a class representative would come to lock the doors.
Although the school required the representative to lock the doors only after counting the number of people, when it came to students actually implementing it, few could do it.
Usually, one second they were chatting enthusiastically, and the next second, the lights were off, the doors were closed, and everyone was asleep.
Li Wu stood at the door. He couldn't hear any voices from the classroom. The doors were probably locked, and everyone was asleep. He had been forgotten again.