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Kuzan sat slouched in a recliner chair inside the dimly lit Marine Base office, one leg lazily dangling over the armrest. His ice-blue eyes half-closed, he absentmindedly spun a half-melted ice cube between his fingers.
The faint buzz of the Den Den Mushi sitting on the desk broke the silence.
Buru-buru-buru...
Buru-buru-buru...
The snail suddenly clacked awake, its little eyes snapping open and brows furrowing in uncanny mimicry.
"KUZAN!!" The thunderous roar of Fleet Admiral Sengoku came from the den den mushi, the snail's lips trembling as it bellowed.
Kuzan winced, leaning his head back against the recliner with a sigh. 'Tch... and here I thought I could get at least ten minutes of peace.'
"Yare, yare..." He muttered under his breath before lifting the receiver. "Yo, Fleet Admiral... you're loud enough to wake the dead, you know?"
The snail's mustache bristled violently, Sengoku's furious voice echoing through the room like a cannon blast.
"Don't 'yo' me, Kuzan!! How could you let Luffy slip right through your fingers?! You were assigned to chase after him! Do you understand what kind of chaos that brat could cause if left unchecked?!"
Kuzan rubbed his temple, the sound of Sengoku's voice reverberating in his skull.
"I didn't expect his warship to move that fast... I was completely unable to catch up. Like, it just whoosh... gone."
Whoosh? WHOOSH?!
Sengoku's mental veins practically bulged out through the snail's forehead.
"You're telling me the Admiral of your level, Aokiji, was left in the dust by a boy barely out of his teens?! Do you even hear yourself right now?!"
Kuzan awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, a sheepish grin forming. "Heh... when you put it like that, it does sound kinda pathetic..."
"PATHETIC ISN'T THE HALF OF IT!!" Sengoku's voice boomed so loudly that the Den Den Mushi thumped against the desk, bouncing slightly from the sheer force of the words.
"Are you even doing anything about this?! Or are you just sitting there with your lazy backside sunk into that chair, wasting time while that brat runs wild?!"
The sharpness of Sengoku's words pricked at Kuzan's chest, though he hid it behind a bored expression. 'Lazy, huh...? Well, he's not wrong... but still...'
He lifted his hand defensively, speaking in a calm drawl. "Relax, Fleet Admiral. I already sent word out to every nearby branch. Intel's being gathered as we speak. I'll get news soon enough. You know me... I may take things slow, but I don't just sit around doing nothing."
"'Slow' is going to get us all killed one day!" Sengoku snapped. The Den Den Mushi's eyes were practically bulging with fury now, its little veins popping out as though it shared its master's stress.
"You have no idea what kind of storm that boy could stir up! We're sitting on a ticking time bomb, Kuzan, make haste."
Kuzan leaned back, blowing out a small sigh that fogged the cold air around him. His gaze drifted toward the ceiling.
'Luffy, huh... You really are something else. Even the Fleet Admiral's losing his mind over you...'
He returned his lazy stare to the Den Den Mushi and gave a faint nod. "Alright, alright... I get it. I'll move faster. Just don't pop a blood vessel before I do, old man."
"KUZAN!!" Sengoku's bellow shook the office once more.
The Den Den Mushi's face was still contorted into Sengoku's furious expression when the door to the office slammed open.
Bang!
A young sailor rushed inside, boots clattering loudly against the wooden floor. He stopped dead in front of Kuzan, spine stiff as a board, and threw up a shaky salute.
"Admiral Kuzan, sir! I... I have urgent news!!"
Kuzan tilted his head lazily, one hand dangling over the side of the recliner. He blew out a cold breath, fogging the air, before nodding slightly. "Yare yare... go on, kid. What've you got for me?"
The sailor gulped, sweat dripping down his temple. He quickly fumbled through a report, voice cracking.
"V-Vice Admiral Luffy's warship... was last sighted... near the waters of Yonko Kaido's territory! But its Specific location is still unknown, sir!"
The words hung in the air like an executioner's blade.
Kuzan's face twitched, his calm demeanor momentarily cracking. His eyes narrowed, a small vein pulsing on his temple. "...Near Kaido's place, huh?"
He let out a long, frosty sigh and waved his hand dismissively. "Alright, thanks. That'll be all."
The sailor saluted again, almost tripping over himself as he retreated out the door.
The Den Den Mushi, however, exploded with fury.
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Sengoku's roar blasted through the receiver so violently that the snail literally jumped on the desk, its veins popping and eyes bulging.
The walls themselves seemed to tremble under the sheer volume.
"Near Kaido's territory?! Of course... of course it's there! That brat is a walking disaster! I should have known!! The moment I relax for even a second... those two, that cursed grandfather and grandson duo... THEY NEVER LET ME REST!!"
Kuzan rubbed the back of his neck, grimacing at the volume. His thoughts wandered.
'Grandfather and grandson, huh? Yeah... sounds about right. Garp loves stirring up hornets' nests, and the kid... tch, he's cut from the same cloth.'
Sengoku's tirade didn't slow down. "I can already picture it! That boy's probably already swinging fists with Kaido's men... or worse, Kaido himself!! Do you understand what this means, Kuzan?! If Luffy provokes Kaido, we won't just have a political incident, we'll have an all-out catastrophe on our hands!!"
Kuzan exhaled slowly, puffing cold air through his nose, as though the stress alone chilled him. "Yare yare... what a hassle. That kid really doesn't know how to sit still. He's a real troublemaker."
The Den Den Mushi slammed its snail-fist down on the desk (or maybe that was Sengoku smashing his own table on the other end—it was hard to tell). The snail's eyes popped wider, shaking furiously.
"ENOUGH WITH YOUR LAZY COMMENTARY!!" Sengoku thundered, veins practically bursting from his forehead. "I don't care how you do it... Get to Wano immediately! And you'd better PRAY... pray to whatever gods you believe in that the little brat hasn't already picked a fight with Kaido by the time you arrive!!"
Kuzan sat up slightly, finally straightening from his reclined position, his breath misting the air. For a moment, his half-lidded eyes hardened with a glint of seriousness.
'Wano... huh. That's no playground for kids, brat. What are you really up to...?'
But his expression softened again, and he muttered with his usual lazy drawl.
"Alright, alright. I'll head there. But... if you expect miracles, Fleet Admiral, you might be barking up the wrong tree."
Click!
Sengoku's bellow shook the line one last time before the Den Den Mushi slammed its eyes shut, collapsing in exhaustion.
The office fell into silence again, only broken by Kuzan's faint sigh. He leaned back in his recliner, staring at the ceiling.
"Man... Garp's grandson really knows how to keep the world spinning..."
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