The cold was the first thing I felt.
It wasn't a normal kind of cold.It was something deeper… as if it was coming from within me.
I slowly opened my eyes… but there was nothing.
No sky… no ground… no light.
Only darkness.
An endless darkness that seemed to wrap around everything… even me.
I tried to move… I couldn't.
My body… felt strange. Light. Unstable.As if I might disappear at any moment.
I opened my mouth to scream… nothing.
The silence was absolute.
It didn't just swallow my voice… it silenced my thoughts as well.
"Where… am I…?"
I didn't even know if I had actually said it… there was no answer.
Only that endless void.
And then I understood.
The fall… the end.
"I'm… dead."
The thought formed slowly, but once it appeared… it didn't go away.
And yet… there was something else.
I couldn't see it… I couldn't hear it.
But it was there… watching me.
Waiting.
As if my death… hadn't been the end…
. . .
In a small apartment in the center of Tokyo… I live alone.
Kuroi Sora… seventeen years old.
My parents are almost never around.Always busy, always far away, always in another country for work.And my brother… well, he's in England, finishing his university studies.
In the end, the story is simple… I'm alone.
It's not something recent.I've been living like this since I was fifteen.
Cooking the basics, keeping the place in order, not depending on anyone…
At first, it was difficult. After that… it became normal.
Or at least… that's what I like to tell myself.
Because the truth is different.
No matter how much I get used to the silence,no matter how many times I tell myself I don't need anyone… that emptiness is still there.
It never disappears… it never does.
It's like a constant weight on my chest—one I've gotten used to… but that never stops bothering me.
And maybe… that was my mistake.
Getting used to it.
I walked to the bathroom and, as I raised my gaze, I met my reflection.
A thin boy… pale skin… messy black hair.
And eyes… empty. As if they no longer expected anything.
I stared at myself in silence, trying to find something more in that reflection… but there was nothing new.
There never was.
In elementary school… I learned to go unnoticed.In middle school… I perfected that habit.
Avoid eye contact… don't draw attention… don't stand out.
It was easier that way.
But when I entered high school… that wasn't enough anymore.
The looks changed… the whispers began.
And the silence that once protected me… became another form of isolation.
I looked away from the mirror.
"Will I ever be able to change…?"
My voice barely came out.
"How long am I going to keep living like this…?"
. . .
The clock read 6:30 a.m.
I finished breakfast without much enthusiasm, grabbed my phone and my bag, and hurried out of the apartment.
I couldn't miss the train… not today.
Not on the first day.
. . .
By 6:40 a.m., I was already on the train.
As always, there were high school students everywhere.
Groups of friends chatting and laughing.Couples sharing earphones or simply walking together.
It was… normal.
I watched them in silence.
That warmth… that closeness… something so simple.
And yet… so far from me.
I looked away and settled into my seat.
The train wasn't too crowded, so the ride went smoothly.
Thirty minutes later, the doors opened and I got off quickly, almost out of habit.I preferred getting out before the others.
Avoiding looks… had always been easier that way.
. . .
At 7:15 a.m., I was already a block away from the school.
The building looked the same… nothing had changed.
Or so it seemed.
As I walked, I recognized some faces. Former classmates.
People I had shared a classroom with… but never words.
There were also new faces. People I didn't know.
For a moment, I found myself thinking.
"This time… who will I end up with?"
Every year was the same.
You could end up in the same class… or start over with strangers.
Though, to be honest… it didn't matter much.
In the end… it always turned out the same.
. . .
When I arrived at Asahi High School, the first thing I felt was the usual.
That slight pressure in my chest.
As if my body knew I didn't want to be there.
I had arrived early. There were still about twenty-five minutes before the gates closed.
Perfect.
Fewer people.Fewer eyes.
Or so I thought.
"Well, well… if it isn't the ghost."
That voice.
I didn't need to turn around to know who it was.
Even so, I did.
Kurokawa Ryuji.
Blond hair, slightly messy, sharp eyes… and that smile that never meant anything good.
He wasn't alone.
As always, he was surrounded by his group, quietly laughing, looking at me as if I were something… entertaining.
"I thought you wouldn't show up this year," he continued, taking a step forward. "But well… this is better."
His eyes locked onto mine.
"This will be more fun."
I didn't respond… I never did.
I lowered my gaze and simply walked past him, as if I hadn't heard anything.
The laughter followed almost immediately behind me.
. . .
From the very first day I noticed him… it was like this.
In elementary school, I went unnoticed.In middle school… the same.
No one paid attention to me, and that was fine… it was enough.
But in high school… everything changed.
I don't know exactly when it started. Or why.
I just remember that, one day… Ryuji started looking at me differently.
Not like he looked at others.
It was… different.
As if there was something about me that bothered him.
Or worse…
as if he simply didn't like that I was there.
Since then… he never stopped.
Pointless orders.Constant mockery.Shoves… that slowly stopped being "accidental."
Sometimes…
I started to think it went beyond that.
That it wasn't just for fun.
There were moments when his gaze… changed.
As if he were remembering something.
As if I… owed him something I didn't even know about.
But I never understood what.
The first year went by like that.
Without me being able to do anything.Without anyone saying anything.
. . .
And now…
it was all starting again.
I looked away and kept walking.
There was no point in thinking about it.
Not now.
. . .
Once inside the school, I headed toward the large bulletin board at the entrance.
The lists were there.
Names.Classrooms.Groups.
I quickly searched for mine.
"…2-B."
I let out a small sigh. At least now I knew where to go.
Without wasting time, I walked down the hallways until I reached the classroom.
I paused for a second in front of the door.
Then opened it carefully.
There were only a few students inside.
Without saying anything, I walked to the last seat, in the corner.
My usual place.
I set my bag down beside me and sat.
Finally…
I could breathe a little.
. . .
Just when I thought the day would continue as usual… I heard my name.
"Hey… Sora?"
I stopped.
That voice… I slowly turned.
A boy stood in front of me. Tall. Crimson red hair.
And that smile… there was something about it.
Something… familiar.
I looked at him in silence, trying to piece things together. But it wasn't that simple.
Too many years had passed.
"…Yeah?" I replied hesitantly.
The boy let out a small laugh, as if unsure whether to feel offended or surprised.
"No way…" he muttered. "You seriously don't recognize me?"
I frowned slightly.
I didn't want to say no… but I couldn't lie either.
"Sorry…" I admitted. "I think… I don't."
He sighed, scratching the back of his head.
"Koichi Haru," he said at last. "We grew up together… remember?"
. . .
That name.
This time… something did move inside me.
It wasn't clear. Not immediate. But it was there.
I closed my eyes for a moment.
And then… fragments.
A house.An ordinary afternoon.Voices… laughter…?
A place I used to go when my parents weren't home. A warm place…
It was… that place.
Where I wasn't alone.
I slowly opened my eyes.
"…Haru…" I murmured.
I looked at him again.
And this time… it fit.
Not completely. But enough.
"It's been years…" I said quietly.
Haru smiled, this time with a bit more relief.
"Yeah… quite a few."
There was a brief silence. Not uncomfortable… but not light either.
"I didn't recognize you at first," I admitted. "You've changed."
"So have you," he replied with a half-laugh. "Though you still have that 'I don't want to be here' face."
I looked away, with a faint smile.
"Maybe…"
Haru watched me for a few seconds, as if trying to measure something.
Then he spoke again, his tone softer:
"Hey… do you remember the others too?"
I frowned slightly.
"The others…?"
Haru nodded.
"Seiji…" he paused briefly. "And Shiori."
. . .
Shiori…
The names echoed in my mind.
And this time… they weren't fragments.
It was everything.
As if something that had been asleep… had finally awakened.
My breathing stopped for a moment.
I remembered. I remembered that house.
It wasn't just any place.
It was where my parents left me when they had to travel.And not with just anyone.
They trusted them.
Because Shiori's parents… were close to mine.
Almost like family.
And it was there… that I met her.
Shiori.
A kind girl.Quiet.Always smiling.
I remember that at first, I didn't know how to talk to her…
but she spoke to me first.
As if she didn't care how quiet I was.
As if it didn't bother her.
…
And over time… we became inseparable.
Then they joined.
Haru.Seiji.
And before I knew it… I wasn't alone anymore.
We played together almost every day. We laughed at meaningless things.Time… simply passed.
Those were peaceful days… warm ones.
…
The best I remember.
But then… everything changed.
I don't remember every detail. I don't want to.
I just know that… something happened.
Something that broke everything.
Shiori…
suddenly disappeared.
Later, I found out she had gone abroad.
That something had happened.
Something serious.
Haru and Seiji left not long after.Their families moved away.
And in the end… everything fell apart.
As if it had never existed.
…
I slowly returned to reality.
My chest felt heavy.
"…Yeah," I murmured. "I remember them."
. . .
Haru and I kept talking for a few more minutes.
It wasn't a deep conversation… but it wasn't superficial either.
It felt strange.
As if we were trying to recover something… without really knowing how.
Meanwhile, the classroom slowly began to fill.
Voices.Laughter.Chairs scraping against the floor.
The usual noise of any morning.
…
"Hey."
A voice interrupted. I looked up.
A boy had approached us.
Light blond hair.Straight posture.And a serious expression that barely changed.
"Haru," he said, looking directly at him. "Who are you talking to?"
Haru smiled faintly.
"You're late."
The boy shifted his gaze toward me. Only for a few seconds.
But it was enough.
His expression changed. Not much… just enough.
"…Wait," he muttered. "You…?"
I frowned slightly.
That look… it was similar to Haru's earlier.
As if he were trying to confirm something.
"It's Sora," Haru said casually. "Kuroi Sora."
…
Silence.
The boy looked at me for a few more seconds.
Then, he let out a quiet breath.
"Wow…" he said under his breath. "It's been years."
He stepped a little closer.
"I didn't think I'd see you again."
"…Me neither," I replied.
I didn't know what else to say.
"Seiji," Haru added, as if clarification was needed.
I nodded slightly.
"I remember."
And it was true.
The way he spoke… hadn't changed much.
Seiji watched me for a moment longer, as if he wanted to say something… but let it go.
"So… we're here again," he murmured.
"The three of us," Haru said with a faint smile.
…
There was a brief pause.
Then Haru glanced around the classroom.
"Though… someone's still missing."
Seiji also looked away, as if searching among the students.
"Yeah…" he added. "I haven't seen her yet."
There was no need to ask who they meant.
My chest tightened slightly.
"Shiori…" I murmured without realizing it.
Haru immediately turned toward me, a smile forming as if he had just found something interesting.
"Oh… so you do remember her."
I looked away.
"That's not it…"
"Are you sure?" he insisted, crossing his arms. "Because a moment ago it seemed like you'd forgotten everything."
"I just… remembered her first, that's all," I replied, trying to stay calm.
Haru let out a soft laugh.
"How convenient."
"Drop it, Haru," Seiji cut in, his tone calm but firm. "Now's not the time."
Haru raised his hands in surrender.
"Alright, alright…"
Then he looked back toward the door.
"Anyway… she should be here soon."
…
My gaze followed his almost instinctively.
Without realizing it, my attention was no longer on the conversation…
but on the classroom entrance.
. . .
And then—
The bell rang.
A sharp sound marking the start of class.
Chairs scraped.Voices slowly faded.
Almost at the same time, the door opened.
Quickly, everyone returned to their seats.
The teacher entered first, wearing her usual serious expression.
But she wasn't alone. Behind her… a girl walked in.
The classroom fell silent.
She was slender, with long blonde hair that fell softly over her shoulders.
Her presence was… different.
As if she didn't quite belong in that space.
Some students began to whisper.
Others simply stared, unable to look away.
She had the kind of beauty that drew attention effortlessly.
But I… wasn't looking at that.
Not entirely.
There was something else… something I couldn't ignore.
Haru and Seiji smiled when they saw her, recognizing the beautiful girl immediately.
. . .
The echo of the bell still lingered as everyone settled.
The teacher walked to the front of the classroom without a word.
Then placed her palm firmly on the desk.
Bang!
The sharp sound was enough to silence the room.
"Listen carefully," she said seriously. "This year, we have three transfer students."
She paused briefly.
"Koichi Haru, Arashi Seiji… and Fuyu Shiori."
…
Haru was the first to stand.
He stretched naturally and, without losing his usual smile, looked at the class.
"Nice to meet you," he said lightly. "I'm Koichi Haru."
He gave a small bow, more out of habit than formality.
"I hope we get along."
That was it… simple, but enough.
Some girls immediately started whispering.
"Did you see him…?""He's so handsome…""Isn't he that…?"
Haru just smiled, as if already used to that kind of reaction, and sat back down without giving it much thought.
…
Then it was Seiji's turn.
He stood up without rushing.
Unlike Haru, he didn't smile.
His gaze swept across the classroom for a moment before he spoke.
"Arashi Seiji."
His voice was firm. Direct.
"That's all."
…
Silence.
Some students exchanged glances, unsure how to react.
Others simply nodded.
Seiji sat back down without adding anything else, keeping the same expression as always.
Serious. Distant.
As if none of this really mattered to him.
…
From my seat, I watched them in silence.
Two completely different people.
And yet… both were part of the memories I thought I had left behind.
. . .
"Alright…" the teacher said. "Now it's Miss Fuyu's turn. Please introduce yourself."
Shiori stepped forward.
The classroom fell silent once again.
"Nice to meet you," she said, giving a small bow. "My name is Fuyu Shiori."
Her voice was soft. Calm, but firm.
"I was living in England until recently. Due to my parents' work, we've returned to Tokyo."
She paused briefly.
"There are still many things I need to adjust to… but I hope to get along with all of you."
She smiled. A gentle… polite smile.
But it wasn't how I remembered it. Not entirely.
. . .
I didn't realize when… I started smiling.
Maybe it was when I heard her voice.
Or when I saw her standing there… as if nothing had changed.
As if all those years… had never passed.
But that wasn't true. Something had changed… I could feel it.
. . .
The whispers started immediately.
"She's beautiful…""She really came from abroad?""She looks like a model…"
I didn't pay attention. I couldn't.
My eyes remained fixed on her.
…
Until she moved.
The teacher pointed to her seat, and Shiori began walking between the desks.
Each step was calm. Confident.
As if she were used to being watched.
. . .
She stopped.
Right next to me.
My breath caught for a moment.
That seat…
It was mine.
The one beside me.
…
Shiori turned slightly toward me.
Our eyes met.
Just for a second. Maybe less.
…
"Nice to meet you."
She smiled.
Formal. Distant.
As if she were speaking to a complete stranger.
I felt something strange in my chest.
Not pain. Not exactly.
But it wasn't indifference either.
…
"…Likewise," I replied.
My voice came out quieter than I expected.
She gave a small nod…
and took her seat.
. . .
The classroom returned to normal.
The teacher began the lesson as if nothing had happened.
Voices disappeared.Notebooks opened.
Time… kept moving.
. . .
But for me… everything felt different.
Too close. Too far.
At the same time.
. . .
Until—
Ring.
The sound of the bell broke the silence.
Class change.
"Well, that's all for today," the teacher said as she closed her notebook. "Prepare for the next class. We'll continue tomorrow."
Without another word, she left the classroom.
The murmurs returned immediately.
Chairs moving.Conversations resuming.
…
I didn't move.
My gaze remained unfocused, lost somewhere.
"Hey, Sora."
I felt a hand on my shoulder… I blinked.
"You okay?"
It took me a second to answer.
"…Yeah," I murmured. "Just thinking."
It wasn't a lie… but it wasn't the whole truth either.
Haru watched me for a few seconds longer, as if he didn't quite believe it.
Then he let out a light sigh.
"Hey… don't just freeze up there," he said, returning to his usual tone. "We've still got things to sort out."
Before I could react, he turned his gaze.
"Don't you think… Shiori?" Haru said with a faint smile.
. . .
Shiori blinked.
As if she hadn't expected to be addressed.
"Huh…?"
Her gaze moved between us.
First Haru.
Then it stopped on me.
. . .
Her expression changed.
Very slightly.
As if something didn't quite fit.
"I'm sorry…" she murmured. "I…"
She frowned slightly.
As if searching for something in her memory.
Haru tilted his head, curious.
"What's wrong?" he asked. "Don't you remember us?"
. . .
Silence.
Shiori lowered her gaze.
Her fingers lightly gripped the fabric of her skirt.
"It's not that…" she said softly.
She closed her eyes for a moment.
And then—
Her expression tensed. Just for a second.
As if a memory had crossed her mind… too quickly.
Too intensely.
. . .
She opened her eyes again.
Took a breath.
"Haru…" she murmured first.
Then her gaze shifted slightly.
"…Sora."
For a moment, it felt like time stopped.
Shiori lifted her head slightly.
Her expression was no longer confused. But it wasn't happy either.
"Yes… I remember," she said softly.
She paused.
"I just… needed a moment."
Haru let out a small laugh, relieved.
"Hey, for a second I thought you'd completely erased us."
But Shiori didn't respond right away.
Her gaze… was still different.
Distant.
"A lot has happened…" she finally added.
And this time… I didn't know if those words were an explanation…
or a barrier.
"Well… at least you remember something," Haru said, relieved. "You don't have to force it."
Shiori nodded slightly.
But before she could say anything else—
"Well, well… looks like I came at the perfect time."
Seiji's voice cut into the conversation.
He approached calmly, stopping beside the desk.
His gaze moved from Haru… to Shiori… and finally to me.
"Did you start without me?"
Haru let out a small laugh.
"We were just catching up."
Seiji crossed his arms slightly, watching Shiori closely.
"I see…"
It wasn't an uncomfortable look.
But it was… analytical.
"So…" he said calmly. "Was it hard for you to recognize us too?"
Shiori smiled.
"Yes… I remember."
Her voice was soft. Natural.
As if nothing was out of place.
"It's been a long time… but I'm glad to see you again."
Haru smiled immediately.
"I knew you wouldn't forget us!"
Seiji nodded slightly.
I said nothing.
. . .
But something felt off.
Her smile… was perfect.
Too perfect.
As if it had been practiced.
. . .
"I hope we can get along," Shiori added.
But right after…
her fingers tightened slightly on the edge of the desk.
Just for an instant.
. . .
No one else seemed to notice.
I did.
. . .
After that… the conversation continued.
But not in the same way.
Not like before.
Haru was the first to try to break the silence.
"Remember when we used to argue about which movie to watch?" he said, laughing. "And in the end, Shiori would always let Sora decide."
Seiji sighed.
"Because you only wanted to watch ridiculous comedy movies."
"Hey, that was cinema!"
"It was annoying and ridiculous."
Shiori let out a small laugh.
"Sora always ended up choosing…"
—Because you couldn't agree —I murmured.
—We always ended up doing whatever Shiori said —Seiji commented.
Haru nodded.
—Yeah… you were like the leader.
Shiori gently shook her head.
—That's not true…
—It is —I said without thinking.
...
Everyone looked at me.
Shiori smiled.
This time… more naturally.
—Yeah… I think I remember that.
But her voice was soft.
As if she were carefully walking through those memories.
. . .
I listened. Without intervening much.
The scenes came back to me little by little.
Fragments… laughter.
Quiet days.
. . .
But something didn't fit.
Shiori participated.
She talked. She smiled.
But there were moments… when she suddenly went silent.
As if she got lost.
As if something pulled her away for an instant.
And then she came back… as if nothing had happened.
. . .
No one said anything.
But I noticed.
. . .
Lunch came faster than I expected.
We sat together. The four of us.
For the first time in years.
—So, Haru —Seiji said—. are you still into sports?
—Obviously —he replied with a confident smile—. I'm on the soccer team. This year, we're going far.
—You said that last year —Seiji added.
—This year is different.
Shiori watched them closely.
—You haven't changed… —she murmured, almost to herself.
Haru smiled.
—Is that a good thing or a bad thing?
Shiori hesitated for a second.
—…Good.
—What about you, Sora? —Haru suddenly asked—. What have you been doing all this time?
. . .
I felt their eyes on me.
—Nothing special —I replied—. Just… studying or writing.
—Writing? —Shiori repeated.
I looked up.
She was watching me.
With genuine curiosity.
—Yeah… nothing important.
—I don't think that's true —she said.
...
I didn't know how to respond.
Seiji stepped in.
—I want to study abroad.
—Really? —Haru asked.
—It's not certain yet —Seiji replied—. But it's an option.
The conversation continued.
More fluid. More natural.
And yet… something was still there.
. . .
Every time the past came too close…
Shiori changed.
Just a little.
Almost imperceptible. But enough.
And I… couldn't stop noticing.
. . .
At the end of the day, the bell rang again. The classroom began to empty.
. . .
We walked out together. Through the hallways.
As if it were normal.
As if it had always been this way.
The sound of the bell marked the end of the day.
Students began to pour out of the school, filling the halls and the main entrance with noise and movement.
The four of us walked together.
It was still strange.
But no longer uncomfortable.
—Hey —Haru suddenly said—. what do you guys think about hanging out after school? We could go somewhere… celebrate a bit.
Seiji nodded.
—Not a bad idea.
. . .
Shiori hesitated.
It was subtle.
But noticeable.
—I'm sorry… —she said finally—. I don't think I can.
Haru tilted his head.
—Huh? Why?
—My parents… —she replied—. they prefer that I don't get home late on weekdays.
. . .
There was a brief silence.
—Well… —Haru said, scratching his head—. I guess there's not much we can do.
Seiji nodded.
—We can leave it for the weekend.
Shiori smiled faintly.
—Yeah… I'd like that.
. . .
She stopped.
And for a moment… her gaze turned to me.
—See you tomorrow, Sora.
—…Yeah —I replied.
. . .
Shiori gave a slight bow…
and disappeared into the crowd.
I watched her for a few seconds.
Until she was gone.
. . .
—Alright… —Haru said—. we'll plan something better tomorrow.
—Wait —Seiji added—. we need to stop by the office.
—Ah, right… the documents.
Haru sighed.
—Hey, Sora —he said, turning to me—. can you wait here? It'll be quick.
I nodded.
—Yeah.
—Don't move —Haru added with a smile—. we'll be right back.
. . .
I watched them walk away.
And suddenly… I was alone.
The noise at the entrance was still there.
But… it didn't feel the same.
. . .
A few minutes passed.
Maybe more. I don't know.
Then—
—Well… well.
. . .
That voice…
I slowly turned.
Ryuji.
. . .
His expression was different.
It wasn't the same mocking smile from before.
It was worse.
His eyes… were fixed on me.
—Looks like you're not so alone anymore —he said, taking a step forward.
I didn't respond.
—Interesting… —he continued—. I didn't think you were capable of that.
He stopped in front of me.
Too close.
—What is it? —he added in a low voice—. did you finally find someone to stand up for you?
I felt the tension in my body.
But I didn't move.
—That's not it —I replied.
Ryuji let out a small laugh.
—Of course… it's not.
His expression changed.
—But don't get the wrong idea.
He stepped closer.
—You're still the same.
His hand tensed.
—And I don't like it when you forget your place.
. . .
Before I could react—
—Hey.
Another voice. Ryuji stopped.
It was Haru.
—Is there a problem? —he asked, walking closer.
But his tone… wasn't the same as before.
Seiji stood behind him.
Silent.
Watching.
. . .
Ryuji looked at them.
And for a moment… his expression changed.
But only for a moment.
—Nothing important —he said—. I was just talking to him.
—Didn't look like it —Seiji replied.
Silence.
The tension was clear.
Haru stepped forward.
—If you have something to say… say it properly.
Ryuji smiled.
But this time… without amusement.
—Relax —he said—. I didn't come here to fight.
His gaze returned to me.
—For now.
Then he turned away.
—Enjoy your new group… Sora.
And he left.
. . .
The atmosphere fell into silence.
—Are you okay? —Haru asked.
I nodded.
—Yeah.
Seiji frowned slightly.
—That guy…
—It's nothing —I said.
But I knew it wasn't.
Because that look… wasn't new.
And now… I wasn't alone anymore.
. . .
—Well… I think I'll head home —I murmured, taking a step toward the exit.
—Wait, Sora.
Seiji's voice stopped me.
I felt his hand rest lightly on my shoulder.
I turned.
—What is it?
Haru and Seiji exchanged a quick glance, as if they had already talked about this.
That… I didn't like.
—It's about Shiori —Haru said, this time without his usual carefree tone.
My body tensed slightly.
—What about her?
There was a brief silence.
Seiji spoke this time.
—You… remember her well, right?
. . .
I didn't answer immediately.
—Yeah —I said finally.
My voice came out lower than I expected.
Haru crossed his arms, watching me carefully.
—Then I'm not imagining things.
I frowned.
—What do you mean?
Haru smiled slightly.
—The way you look at her.
. . .
I looked away.
—It's nothing.
—Right —Seiji murmured—. "Nothing."
His tone wasn't mocking.
It was… too precise.
—I'm just saying— —Haru shrugged—. it's been years, but some things don't change that easily.
I felt a knot in my chest.
—It's not that simple.
Seiji tilted his head slightly.
—For her… or for you?
. . .
That question… left me silent.
I thought about Shiori. About the way she smiled.
About how… sometimes she didn't seem fully there.
. . .
—I don't know —I admitted—. We just met again… and she doesn't even remember everything.
Haru nodded, more serious now.
—Yeah… that worries me too.
—I don't want to ruin it —I continued—. If I say something now… it could complicate everything.
There was a brief silence.
—Or nothing might happen —Seiji said.
I looked at him.
—But if you do nothing… then nothing will definitely happen —he added.
Haru sighed.
—We're not telling you to confess tomorrow.
—Just… —he continued—. don't ignore what you feel.
. . .
I clenched my hand slightly.
—I know.
I looked toward the exit.
—I just… need time.
—Take it easy —Haru replied without hesitation—. No one's pressuring you.
Seiji nodded.
—But don't run away either.
I let out a small breath.
—I'll try.
Haru smiled.
—That's enough for now.
. . .
The three of us started walking toward the exit.
The flow of students had already thinned out.
The atmosphere was calmer.
But inside me… it wasn't.
Because for the first time in a long time… I wasn't running away from that feeling.
And that… was far more difficult than it seemed.
. . .
The days began to pass with a kind of calm that, at first, felt strange.
Classes continued as usual, students slowly adapted, and a routine started to take shape within Asahi High School.
But for me... it wasn't the same anymore.
I wasn't alone now.
Haru, Seiji... and Shiori.
At first, everything was a bit awkward. Conversations didn't flow naturally, as if we were trying to rebuild something that time had broken. But as the days passed, that began to change.
The laughter started to come more naturally.
The words... too.
And before I realized it, almost a month had passed.
. . .
I changed too.
It wasn't something drastic, but enough to notice. I started talking more, responding without overthinking... even feeling like I belonged somewhere.
I wasn't just someone watching from afar anymore.
And a big part of that... was because of her.
Shiori.
. . .
There were moments when she was exactly as I remembered.
Smiling.
Speaking naturally.
Making everything feel... light.
But other times... something would change.
Her gaze would drift for a few seconds, her expression turning distant... as if something inside her briefly shut down.
And then... she would smile again.
As if nothing had happened.
. . .
No one said anything.
But I noticed.
Always.
. . .
On Thursday afternoon, after classes, the courtyard was quieter than usual.
Shiori had left earlier for club activities.
Haru and Seiji were with me, talking about trivial things... but I couldn't fully focus.
There was something I had been avoiding for days.
. . .
—Hey... —I said finally.
They both looked at me.
—What's up? —Haru asked.
I hesitated for a second.
—I've been thinking about Shiori.
Haru gave a faint smile.
Seiji simply watched me.
—I don't know when it started... or if it ever really stopped —I continued—. But I can't keep ignoring it anymore.
—I feel warmth when I'm with her, something that comforts me and makes me feel better. I remember those days, those emotions. And I don't think I could bear losing that... again.
My voice sounded more honest than I expected.
—I don't know if this is the right time. She still doesn't remember everything... and I don't want to pressure her.
I paused.
—But I also can't keep pretending I don't feel anything.
Haru crossed his arms.
—There's never a perfect time for that.
Seiji spoke next, calmly.
—The real question is... what happens if you do nothing?
I didn't answer.
I didn't need to.
—I don't want to regret it —I murmured.
Haru smiled.
—Then you already know what to do.
Seiji nodded slightly.
—It doesn't have to be perfect... just sincere.
I exhaled slowly.
Feeling something inside me settle, even if just a little.
—Tomorrow... I'll talk to her.
Haru didn't say anything, but his expression said it all.
Seiji simply nodded.
For the first time in a long while... I wasn't running away.
. . .
From afar, in another building, someone was watching us.
I didn't need to see him to know who it was.
Ryuji.
This time... there was no mockery in his gaze.
Only something darker.
And he didn't look away.
. . .
Haru looked at me with a smile, as if he had just noticed something that had always been there.
—Hey, Sora... why did you fall in love with Shiori?
The question caught me off guard.
I blinked, unsure how to answer right away. It wasn't something I had ever put into words... it had simply always been there.
Seiji was watching too, silently waiting.
I looked away toward the courtyard.
—I guess... it started in elementary school.
I paused briefly, organizing my thoughts.
—Although... I had actually known her from before.
They both paid closer attention.
—When my parents traveled, they would leave me at her house. Our parents knew each other, so... it was normal.
A small smile appeared without me noticing.
—She was always kind to me. She talked a lot... even when I didn't respond.
Haru let out a soft laugh.
—I can picture that.
—Yeah... —I murmured—. but back then, I barely spoke.
My gaze drifted for a moment.
—It was in elementary school when everything changed.
The mood turned a bit more serious.
—I wasn't with her all the time anymore... and well, there were some guys who took advantage of that.
Haru frowned slightly.
—It wasn't anything unusual —I continued—. Teasing, pushing... things like that.
I let out a small breath.
—But one day, they went a bit too far.
The memory returned more clearly.
—And then Shiori showed up.
Without realizing it, I smiled faintly.
—She stood in front of me... and started yelling at them. She wasn't very strong, but she didn't back down.
Haru chuckled quietly.
—That sounds like her.
I shook my head slightly.
—No, she didn't just yell... she hit them too.
That even made Seiji react slightly.
—Seriously?
—Yeah. She was crying while doing it... but she didn't stop.
For a moment, no one spoke.
—And they just... left.
I lowered my gaze.
—I remember I was crying too. But when I saw their faces... I don't know why... I started laughing.
Haru smiled, softer this time.
—From that day on, we really started talking —I continued—. And soon after... I ended up with you guys.
I glanced at them for a moment.
—It wasn't like I suddenly "fell in love." It just... happened.
I searched for the words, but they weren't simple.
—I guess it was because... she was the first person who made me feel like I wasn't alone.
The silence that followed wasn't uncomfortable.
It felt... genuine.
Haru nodded slowly.
—That makes sense.
Seiji too.
—More than you think.
I exhaled quietly, feeling like I had let something out.
—Thanks... for listening.
Haru smiled and patted my back.
—That's what we're here for.
Seiji added, in his usual calm tone:
—No matter what happens tomorrow... you won't be alone.
I nodded.
And this time... I truly felt it.
We stayed there a few more seconds, looking at the nearly empty courtyard, until we finally started walking toward the exit.
Tomorrow...
I was going to tell her everything.
. . .
Friday came faster than I expected.
Throughout the day, I couldn't fully focus. Classes passed... but my mind was elsewhere. Every time I looked at the clock, it felt like time was moving too slowly... and yet, not enough.
When the final bell rang, it echoed louder than usual.
Or maybe... it just felt that way.
Students began standing up, packing their things amid conversations and laughter. The air filled with that light, end-of-week energy.
But I... could only think of one thing.
I looked at the seat next to mine.
Shiori was calmly putting away her books, as always. Her expression was peaceful... too peaceful.
I swallowed.
And approached her.
—Shiori...
She looked up.
—Yes?
For a second... I forgot what I was going to say.
—I... —I murmured—. can you do me a favor?
She tilted her head slightly, curious.
—Of course. What is it?
I clenched my hand slightly.
—Could you... come up to the rooftop?
I paused briefly.
—In about fifteen minutes.
Her expression changed slightly.
Not surprise... not discomfort.
It was... curiosity.
—The rooftop? —she said.
—There's something I want to tell you.
Silence lingered for a couple of seconds.
Shiori looked at me intently.
As if trying to read something beyond my words.
Then... she smiled.
That gentle smile.
—Alright.
She took her bag.
—If it's important... I'll go.
She paused for a moment before turning.
—In fifteen minutes?
—Yeah —I replied almost instantly.
She nodded slightly.
—Then I'll see you there.
And without saying anything else... she left the classroom.
I stayed there.
Standing.
Listening as the noise of the room slowly faded.
Fifteen minutes... just fifteen minutes.
I exhaled slowly... there was no turning back.
. . .
After a few minutes, I went up to the rooftop.
Each step on the stairs felt heavier than the last. I didn't know if it was nerves... or fear of what was about to happen.
I pushed the door open.
The afternoon air brushed against me.
The place was empty.
The sky was beginning to glow with warm colors, and the sun was slowly setting on the horizon. Everything looked calm... too calm for what I was about to do.
I walked to the railing and placed my hands on the cold metal, trying to steady my breathing.
My heart wouldn't stop racing.
I tried to organize my thoughts... but it didn't help much.
Then, I heard footsteps.
I turned.
Shiori had just arrived.
For a second, everything went silent.
—Hi... —I murmured.
—Hi, Sora —she replied softly—. You said it was something important.
I nodded... my throat felt dry.
There was a moment of hesitation, a silence, but I couldn't go back to how things were.
I took a step toward her.
—Shiori... since we met again, I've been thinking a lot about everything. About us.
She didn't look away.
That made me even more nervous.
—Maybe you don't remember everything... but for me, those memories are still there. And... it's not just that.
I clenched my hand slightly.
—You've always been someone special to me. Before... and after.
I paused.
—It wasn't something sudden. It just... never disappeared.
The wind passed between us.
. . .
—I like you, Shiori.
I swallowed.
—No... —I shook my head slightly—. it's not just that.
I looked straight at her.
—I'm in love with you.
The silence that followed was... heavy.
Shiori didn't respond right away.
But her expression changed.
Her eyes trembled slightly.
As if something inside her reacted before her words could.
. . .
—I...
She took a small step back.
—No...
She shook her head, almost instinctively.
—Don't say that...
I frowned.
—Shiori...?
—No... —she repeated, her voice weaker this time—. don't do that.
Her hands trembled.
—I can't...
She placed a hand on her chest, as if struggling to breathe.
—I can't look at you like that.
. . .
In that instant, I felt an emptiness in my chest.
Her words were soft.
But they hurt more than I expected.
For a moment, I thought about saying something... anything.
But nothing came out.
—I'm sorry... —she murmured.
And before I could react...
she turned around.
Her steps were fast.
Too fast.
The door opened... and shut with a dull sound.
Silence returned.
. . .
I stayed there.
Not moving.
Staring at the place where she had disappeared.
The wind kept blowing.
The sky kept changing.
But something inside me... had gone empty.
. . .
<< >>
Going down the stairs, Shiori tried to steady her breathing... but she couldn't.
Her chest felt tight.
Too tight.
As if something invisible was pressing from within.
She gripped the strap of her bag tightly.
She didn't understand why she felt this way.
She just... knew it hurt.
Every time she thought about what Sora had just said...
"I'm in love with you."
something inside her fell apart.
An uncomfortable feeling.
Deep... instinctive.
Like rejection... like fear.
Her breathing became uneven.
And then... an image crossed her mind.
Dark.
Blurry.
A cold place.
Closed.
The feeling of not being able to move.
Of not being able to scream.
Shiori stopped abruptly, leaning against the wall.
Her body trembled.
—No...
She held her head.
Pain hit suddenly.
—What... is this...?
Her vision blurred for a moment.
Tears gathered in her eyes, even though she didn't understand why.
She couldn't remember anything clearly.
But her body did.
And that... was worse.
She took a deep breath, trying to calm down.
But the feeling didn't disappear.
It just... hid.
As if it had never really left.
<< >>
. . .
I dropped to my knees.
Without realizing it.
The ground felt cold.
Or maybe... it was me.
—I didn't think... it would hurt this much... —I murmured.
My voice came out broken. I clenched my fists.
—Damn it...
My breathing became uneven.
I tried to look ahead... but I saw nothing.
Only that emptiness.
—I want... to cry...
The words came out almost voiceless.
I let myself fall completely to the ground, hugging myself.
—I knew it could happen...
But not like this. Not this way.
I shut my eyes tightly.
The rooftop, which just minutes ago felt like a peaceful place...
now felt vast.
Empty.
Cold.
And for the first time in a long while... I felt alone again.
To be continued...