Have you ever loved me?" The juice was stuck in my throat. I was not able to spit or gulp it down; the same goes for the question. I couldn't answer with either yes or no, as both answers would turn into a disaster in one way or another. I couldn't even sigh in the given situation.
My eyes were glued to the table in fear. "Let me ask an easy one: Have you at least liked me?" Obviously, we were in a relationship for almost two years, so yeah, it meant I liked him somewhat, right? Well, this love and like shit is definitely not for me, as I don't know whether I liked him or not, but I do know I never loved him, and trust me, I am not going to dig my hole by saying that.
"Am I horrible enough?" Once again, Julian, in a calm demeanour, questioned me, which only means he is reaching his limit with me for the day. "Yes," I answered meekly. "Well, fucking answer the damn question." That came louder, and I reached the limit of the day. Just great. I cleared my throat a few times, not contemplating when the answer was on the tip of my tongue, but I just couldn't speak up for my sanity, nor could I escape the damn situation I pulled myself into.
"I was getting there." The statement earned a cough from Julian. "Exactly where? Liking or loving?" I wanted to rub my forehead so badly as the headache started knocking. "Let's not discuss the love subject, as it's clearly out of the syllabus for you. We were in a relationship for two years, and you were getting to like me, but didn't reach there." Yup, we broke up by that time. "Did I miss anything?" In a mocking tone, Julian questioned me. I should have just broken up and stayed alone. Was it bloody necessary to jump into another one and invite things? "Am I horrible enough?" Oh god, he is going to eat me alive. "It takes time to build things." "For you, it will take centuries, I bet." I groaned at the statement. It wouldn't.
"As you said, we were in a relationship for two years, so it means something, right? I felt something." That came in a low, pathetic voice. "You mean fucking and sleeping life meant something to you?" Great, he is going to bury me alive. "I was trying, and we were busy." "Being a bloody actor, I was busy, but I tried a little to work this shit out. You are being a pathetic photographer. Could have poured more into this shit, right?" I almost puffed out my chest and was about to say that I was loyal when we were together, but beyond that, I did nothing. I swear I haven't tried, either, and please don't ask me why. "We discussed everything before entering the relationship, right?" "You didn't specify that you will be pathetic in this relationship forever." "I kind of did." I was soaked in water, and then only I got to know that those words came out of my mouth.
I pulled the hand key and started wiping my face, and a murmur started in the restaurant. This guy is being a celebrity, gives more perks to turn this into juicy gossip. I will be in the headlines for the wrong reasons by tomorrow.
Julian was glaring at me, hardly controlling himself from lashing out. "Clearly, you don't know what you want or whom you want in your life. You don't know how relationships work or what effort is required to make them work. You have some nerve to date my fucking best friend." Yeah, I agree this is the shittiest thing I have ever done in my life, but I didn't know Jacob was his best friend. "I didn't know he was your best friend. Like you, he came to my studio to get a photoshoot, and after that, he requested to take photos of his new house. We slept once, and yeah, before I knew we were dating." "Wow, that's quite an explanation, and you are far from being a bloody charmer. You have brainwashed the guy. Why the hell are you leading the guy on?" I sighed at that; Jacob is another case. We slept, and after that, I tried to mind my business, but the guy didn't leave me alone. Started pestering me, and I kind of gave in, thinking this would be different. I thought this relationship would work out; I would pour more effort, indulge in everything, and things would be different with this guy. It's been six months, and nothing interests me about the guy. I am loyal to him, and every other behavior is common in both relationships.
I don't know what my exact problem is.
"We both discussed before." "Well, it's been six months. Are there any changes between you guys?" I want to run from here. Please, somebody, help me. "Things are going." "Please don't tempt me; I am hardly managing." I almost rolled my eyes at that, as if he were controlling everything. Now and then, he is successful in grabbing attention through his voice. I am a gentleman over here, behaving. "Have you felt anything for Jacob?" Here we go again, a new additional feeling. Things are going; that's enough, right? "It's been only six months." "Oh, you want that turned into years to feel something?" That definitely depends, and I don't know exactly on what it depends. I want to grab my hair harshly to remove frustration. "I don't know." He started laughing at that. "You are a piece of work; do you even know that? You didn't take advantage of our status, or else I would make sure that you rot in bloody prison." He showed his cell, and someone at another end was listening to the entire conversation, and that someone was Jacob.
Jacob entered the restaurant in anger. We discussed things before that were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't bring them up because once again, I was bathed in water that was in a jug. This time, there were flashes, recording everything going on openly, and I couldn't even hide my face. "I thought someday things would change between us. Julian tried to talk to me; I even defended you blindly." Jacob seethed at the last sentence. I swear I thought the guy was soft like an ice cream till today. Both of them are blaming me for no bloody reason. "I had explained everything, Jacob; we discussed it before agreeing to date each other." "You fucking said you would fucking try. Have you, at least once?" Nope, I didn't. Please, someone, help me. "You didn't, right?" Jacob asked in a sad tone. I felt slightly guilty for leading the guy; I knew things would be the same with him, too. My sixth sense sometimes would work and caution me; I should have listened.
"You never cared, not even once in a two-year relationship," Julian shouted.
"You never worried about me and my busy schedule." Jacob didn't miss the chance.
"I fucking cheated on you, and you didn't seem to fucking mind; you carried on with your business as if it didn't affect you, you fucking moron." Julian seethed those words. He cheated and had the nerve to seethe after cheating. Gosh, what's wrong with people?
"You never questioned anything. I thought you trusted me, but that wasn't the case; you bloody didn't care for anything." Julian almost jabbed me with his hand. This guy is definitely not the version of the one I was dating.
"You never remembered any fucking important date, but I always would." Hey, that's blunt acquisition, I remembered once, and I even gave him a gift.
"Speaking of important dates, he never cared about our monthly anniversary." Give me a damn break. Is it damn necessary to celebrate every damn month?
"Never took the initiative to take me on a date; if we went, that would always be my bloody idea," Julian shouted. That's a lie; I initiated a few.
Why are they teaming up and accusing me wrongly?
"You never showed up to any success parties." Once again, Julian accused me. This guy always had a plus one to attend the parties, and I should always act like a stranger at those parties. It's annoying. Who in their right mind would attend?
"You never wished me luck on my new project." Oh god, my head started to spin at hearing Jacob's words. I was also getting new models and projects, but he didn't. Duh.
"You never cared for anything in the relationship." That came in unison. I want to hide from today for the time being. I have been captured in HD, and my life will be hell for a few days.
They both were heaving heavily. Are they finally done? I wanted to breathe a sigh of relief and run for my life. Julian, while glaring, moved close to me so we were face-to-face and spoke. "We both decided to date each other?" Jacob also joined Julian, and they both watched my face curiously. I don't know. Why? Julian arced an eyebrow. Oh, they are expecting my input. If my input would get rid of them, so be it. "Good luck," I spoke confidently, smiling with a thumbs up, and I didn't expect them to react by pouring another set of water on me, that too by grabbing from a different table.
I don't know where I went wrong, and I need a bloody verbal discussion rather than being physical. This time, with a sigh, I wiped my face using my hand.
"Karma is a bitch, and mark my words, you are going to taste what you're doing very soon." My sweet ex, Jacob, cursed me louder. I really thought this guy was an angel, and he isn't one.
"Come on, let's go, Jacob; we wasted enough of our time." "You are right. While glaring at me, he continued. I will definitely wait to witness that precious day." I almost coughed. I am going to break everything with them from this second. I won't give them any damn chance to witness any damn thing.
Finally, with a final glare, they were gone, and I didn't waste any more seconds in the restaurant; I bolted out.
To be continued.