Julius came back to his senses slowly.
He was on a bench. I was sitting next to him. Not doing anything weird about it — just sitting.
"...I'm sorry," I said. "I hit too hard."
"It's fine." He pressed a hand to his stomach and winced. "I'm fine."
He's not fine.
But okay.
We sat in silence for a bit. The training grounds were quiet. The sky was still dark.
"Lately," I said, "I feel like everything's just... piling on."
"...Same," Julius said.
Huh. Didn't expect him to agree that fast.
Another silence. Then —
"Why are you helping me?"
I glanced at him.
"And before you answer." He looked at me straight. No flinching. "I know what you did at the dinner."
Oh.
Oh.
Oh no.
I kept my face together. Barely. Inside my head was a completely different story — this man, this specific man, is a variable I did not account for and I need to start accounting for him immediately—
"I have a rough idea of the rest." He exhaled. "I'd rather just ask directly instead of dancing around it for a few days. Frankly it was going to ruin my sleep."
I stared at him.
Then I laughed. Just a little.
Headstrong. Genuinely headstrong. Why are people like this.
"The Emperor assigned me here," I said. "While I was on vacation. Which I am still upset about." I crossed my arms. "I already knew about the assassination plan before I arrived. If you die on Tezca grounds under my supervision, it comes back to me. You already knew that. So why are you asking the obvious?"
Julius looked away. "...There might be other reasons."
[Eros perks up immediately.]
Don't, I thought. Don't you even—
[Eros says nothing. Just smiles.]
I cleared my throat.
"My reputation is what it is," I said. "I know what people think of me. I'm not going to pretend otherwise." I looked at the treeline. "I'm also not scheming anything right now. Genuinely. I'm tired. I just want to eat what I want and sleep and not be anyone's problem." Beat. "The crawfish were really good tonight, by the way."
"...I'll take your word for it."
"You should've tried one."
"Next time, maybe."
Next time. Right.
"Anyway." I shifted on the bench. "You don't have to think of me the way everyone else does. I'm not asking you to. But I'm not asking you to think well of me either. I'm still the Josephine everyone knows."
"I don't," Julius said.
I looked at him.
"—think of you the way everyone else does," he said. Quietly. Like he'd already decided and was just saying it out loud now. "Not anymore."
[Hecatia makes a soft noise.]
[Eros clasps his hands together like he just won something.]
I swear to every god currently watching me — which is all of them — I will find a way to evict Eros specifically from my divine connection. This is a threat.
[Eros waves.]
"That's..." I paused. Recalibrated. "Maybe. But who knows what I'll do in the long run. I've mellowed out, sure. Doesn't mean I'm not still me."
Julius turned to face me. "I don't think that's true."
Just like that. Flat out.
Sir.
SIR.
[Eros raises both hands slowly like he's conducting something.]
I felt heat crawling up the back of my neck and I refused — absolutely refused — to acknowledge it.
"You owe me a favor," I said.
Julius blinked at the subject change. Then smiled — small, a little tired, the first real one I'd seen on him. "I remember."
"Good. Don't forget it."
"I won't." The smile went quieter. "...If I make it out of this trip alive."
"You will."
He looked at me.
"Whatever happens," I said, "I'll make sure you get out alive. That's not up for discussion."
A short quiet.
"You're too kind," Julius said. "And too inconsiderate. At the same time."
"I know."
"Those two things don't usually go together."
"Welcome to me," I said.
He laughed. A real one — quiet, kind of helpless, the laugh of someone who hadn't been expecting to laugh. I didn't find it annoying.
I should have found it annoying.
The sky at the treeline had gone from black to deep blue without either of us noticing.
...When did that happen.
"We've been out here a while," Julius said.
"Yes," I said.
Neither of us moved.
The sky kept getting lighter.