(A/N: Hey everyone. You might be wondering why no chapters have come out recently. And to make it short and to rip the band-aid off, unfortunately, I have to drop this story. I really didn't want to make this decision, but I have to. I was thinking of a hiatus at the minimum, but things happened, and I have to change to dropping. I'm sorry to those who wanted to look forward to more of the story, but there are circumstances that are out of my control. Now, to try to make at least some kind of good news, and at least give you all some ideas about how this story was going to go and eventually how it was going to end, I'm going to write out the outline I had in mind for this story below. It probably won't mean much, but spoiler alert, I guess.)
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(A/N: SIKE! April fools! The story continues. The reason I haven't uploaded is that I've been violently assaulted by three tests and a group project, all due within the span of two weeks. Because of this, I've barely had time to write, and the only thing I could write and think of was this kind of filler-like chapter. So, sorry about that, but I can't spare the thinking right now for this story, but I also don't want to leave all of you hanging and without anything to read, so this will have to do for now. I hope you enjoy.
Also, was I able to trick anyone?)
/\\//\\//\
[33: English is Barely Holding Itself Together]
"Hey, Eleanor, I need help!" Kaminari said as he ran up to Eleanor after one of the classes ended.
"What is it this time, Kaminari? The final exams are almost here; I've covered mostly everything that should be expected at this level," Eleanor said as she just wanted to go back to her dorm for the day.
"It's English! You gotta help me! I don't get it! And you're American, so you have to be an expert!"
Eleanor rubbed her face with her hands. "Oh my gods, dude." She looked at Kaminari. "Kaminari, I swear we've had a conversation like this already, and that I pointed out what the issue with a statement like that is."
"Maybe? Look, I need help! Please?"
Eleanor sighed. "Alright, fine, but we only have enough time for one big session, so I need to come up with a way to make it count and show you what makes English a language filled with irregularities and inconsistencies." Eleanor thought for a moment before a mischievous and devilish grin appeared on her face. "I got it, Kaminari. In fact, invite as many people as you can. Give me a moment to put this together." Eleanor quickly went back to her dorm to prepare for what would be entertainment for her, but linguistic torture for her classmates.
/\\//\\//\
"Kaminari, what are we doing?" Kyoka asked.
"We're going to study English with Eleanor," Kaminari responded.
"Are you just now studying for English? The final exams are this week!" Kyoka said.
"Hold on, think of it like this: If I wait until a few days for the exam to study, then it only takes me a few days to get the knowledge I need for the exams." Kaminari said.
Kyoka facepalmed at such an explanation. "Your reasoning is astonishing," she said sarcastically. "Who else is coming?"
"A few others, but not everyone. There's you, me, Midoriya, Ochaco, and Mina. For new people, there's Momo and Iida," Kaminari said.
"Just two more?"
"Everyone had their reasons, and with Momo there, it'll be better, since she's also really smart."
"Whatever. It probably won't be that hard anyway."
/\\//\\//\
When Kyoka and Kaminari entered Eleanor's dorm, they saw a makeshift stand. There was a podium, some chairs, and a desk. Everyone else was there.
"Finally, you two are here," Eleanor said. She was wearing a dress shirt with a black suit vest, a tie, and trousers. She was being slightly professional. Maybe too professional.
"Whoa, Eleanor, why are you dressed like that? Isn't this supposed to be another study session?" Kaminari asked.
"Yes, it is. But the occasion and event call for a dress code, at least a self-imposed one for myself. The presenter has to look good, afterall," Eleanor said.
"Presenter? What do you have planned?" Kaminari asked.
Eleanor grinned mischievously. "Oh, nothing too difficult. Trust me. Take a seat and we'll get started."
"I have a bad feeling about this," Kyoka said.
Kyoka and Kaminari took a seat next to the others. They seemed just as confused, even Momo, about what was going on. Finally, Eleanor took a seat at the desk facing the podium. "Alright, welcome to the UA English Proficiency Evaluation. Although some may call it a spelling bee. Here's how it works: all of you will take turns spelling words in rounds. For each word spelled correctly, you will get points, but if you misspell a word, you won't gain the points the word was worth. The rounds will increase in difficulty, with words becoming worth more points as the difficulty increases. There will be four rounds, and if there is a tie, there will be a 'spell-off' between all the contestants who are tied. You are allowed to ask for the definition of the word, the origin of the word, the word to be used in a sentence, the part of speech, and for me to repeat the word. Alright, any questions?"
"Yes, uh, how is this supposed to be studying for English?" Mina asked.
"Oh, trust me, you'll learn quite a bit. Let's get started. Kaminari, you're first. Get up on the podium," Eleanor said. Kaminari was kind of nervous going first. What if Eleanor was going to throw some weird or random word? No, there's no way she'd do that; she's supposed to help them.
"Are you ready, Kaminari?" Eleanor asked.
"Yes, I'm ready," He responded.
Eleanor nodded and organized some notecards she had. "Your word is…cat."
"Huh? Really?"
"Yes. Spell 'cat'"
"Um…C-A-T."
"Correct. You may take a seat. Next is Iida." Eleanor said. Kaminari sat down, and Iida came up.
"Your word is 'pencil.'"
"I would say this is too easy, but it's only the first round. P-E-N-C-I-L."
"Correct. Go take a seat."
The round continued. Kyoka was next, and her word was 'notebook,' which she spelled correctly. Ochaco also spelled her word correctly, which was 'pen.' Momo correctly spelled 'tiger,' Mina correctly spelled 'dog,' and Midoriya correctly spelled 'paper.'
"This is a lot easier than I thought. If the first round is this easy, the others are probably a breeze!" Kaminari said as it was time for the next round.
"I don't know…something feels off," Momo said.
"You're probably overthinking it. Don't smart people tend to overthink stuff?" Midoriya said.
"That's kind of funny coming from you, Midoriya." Ochaco said.
"Is it?" Midoriya asked.
"Your confidence is noted, and since the next round is starting, and you're so confident, come on up, Kaminari," Eleanor interrupted them to start the next round. Kaminari went up to the podium, filled with confidence. "Your word is 'pear.'
"Oh, this is easy! P-A-I-R." Kaminari said with complete confidence, but Eleanor was looking at him with a smirk. She was taking a bit too long to confirm the answer.
"That is…incorrect," Eleanor said.
"Huh? What? No, I spelled it right! I challenge this or whatever!" Kaminari said.
"Nope. The word was 'pear', not 'pair,'" Eleanor explained.
"You're saying the same thing!" Kaminari said.
"Nope. You spelled 'pair' as in a set of two things. I told you to spell 'pear' as in the fruit," Eleanor explained.
"What‽ No, you probably switched it up just now!"
Eleanor turned over the notecard in her hand, revealing the word 'pear' printed on it. "Please take a seat, Kaminari. A word of advice, ask for it in a sentence, or the definition. I highly recommend it. Everyone, please use Kaminari as an example."
"Wow, that was kind of mean." Mina said.
"Okay, Mina, you're next. Come on up," Eleanor called the next contestant up. Mina took her place at the podium, not as confident as before. "Your word is ketchup."
"Can I have all the information?" Mina asked.
"Ketchup: a noun. A table condiment or sauce. The word originates from the 17th century from the Hokkien dialect from the Fujian province in Southern China. The sentence is: I like putting ketchup on my hot dogs."
"Huh? China? What? I thought this was English! Why is China popping up?" Mina asked.
"Please spell the word," Eleanor ignored her pleas.
Mina held her breath as she thought about it. "Um…K-E-T-C-H-U-P."
"Correct." Mina let out a sigh of relief when Eleanor confirmed her answer. "You may take a seat, Mina. Momo, you're up next." Mina took a seat, and Momo went up to the podium. "Okay, Momo, your word is 'queue.'"
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"The operating system uses a queue to manage incoming network requests."
"Q-U-E-U-E."
"Correct, Momo. You may take a seat." Momo went to take a seat.
"Hold on, why are there so many vowels if none are pronounced?" Kaminari asked.
"Blame the French. The only letter that does anything is the letter 'q,' the rest of the letters are leftover from history and are just there for decoration. Anyway, next up is Ochaco," Eleanor explained. Ochaco went up to the podium.
"Your word is 'island.'"
"I-L-A-N-D?"
"Hmm…well, I mean…no, never mind. That is incorrect," Eleanor said.
"Oh. Where did I go wrong?"
"There's an 's' after 'i.' You forgot that part."
"But why did you seem to be unsure at first?" Ochaco asked.
"It's because that's how 'island' used to be spelled. 'Island' has proto-Germanic roots, and in Middle English spelling, you would be correct, Ochaco. The problem is that in the 16th century, some writers and scholars mistakenly added an 's' because they thought 'iland' was related to the French-derived word 'isle,' so they added an 's' to 'iland' to make it look more like 'isle.' So, the mistake is with English scholars, but blaming the French is funnier," Eleanor explained.
"What? So, you're telling us that the word 'island' is a mistake and English has been using it all this time, and no one has bothered to correct it?" Midoriya asked.
"Exactly, Midoriya. You're learning now. And since you asked, you're next. Come on up," Eleanor said. Midoriya went up. "Your word is 'rite.'"
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
"It was only right that the playwright would write the story of the rite," Eleanor said with a malicious grin.
"What? That didn't help at all!" Midoriya said.
"Wow, that's…no, yeah, that's technically right," Momo commented from the side.
"That's so evil," Mina said.
"She's forcing us to think of English beyond just what words sound and look like. She's pushing us out of our comfort zone. It may seem malicious, but it's forcing us to learn. It's a painful method, but pain is an excellent teacher," Iida said.
"Spell the word, Midoriya," Eleanor said.
"Um…W-R-I-T-E." Midoryiya braced himself. It was a hail Mary attempt. He had a 33% chance of having guessed right.
"That is…incorrect. Please go take a seat, Midoriya," Eleanor said. The atmosphere was not as fun as it was now.
The second round continued. Iida correctly spelled 'knife,' and Kyoka correctly spelled 'receipt.'
"Alright, this is the start of the third round. For those who are behind, this is your chance to catch up. For those in the lead, don't get too confident; one misspelled word will set you back a lot. Without further ado, let's begin. Kaminari, you're up," Eleanor said.
"Oh, come on! Why am I the one going first all the time!" Kaminari complained as he went up to the podium.
"Your word is 'colonel,'" Eleanor said.
"Should I even ask for information? Uh…K-E-R-N-E-L."
"That is…incorrect. You should've asked for the definition. That one would've helped you a lot. The context of a word in a sentence doesn't mean it'll separate the meaning all the time." The correct spelling is C-O-L-O-N-E-L. Please take a seat, Kaminari." Eleanor explained.
"Come on! The word isn't even pronounced how it's spelled!" Kaminari said as he went to sit back down.
"Mina, you're next," Eleanor said. Mina got up and went to the podium. "Your word is 'éclaircissement.'"
"Um…can I have it in a sentence?"
"I need an éclaircissement on this contract before I sign it."
"Um…"
"Please spell the word, Mina."
"Uh..A-C-L-A-I-R-S-I-S-M-O-N-T?"
"Hmm…that is…incorrect."
"Yeah, no way I was spelling that one right," Mina sat back down.
"This is going downhill really fast," Kyoka said.
"Yeah, no one's spelled a word right at all this round," Ochaco said.
"But that's because it was Kaminari and Mina. No offense," Momo said.
"None taken," They both said at the same time.
"Next up is Kyoka," Eleanor said. Kyoka went up.
"She should get it right. Right?" Kaminari said.
"Don't jinx her," Mina said.
"How is that jinxing her?" Kaminari asked.
"Please be quiet while the contestant is on the stage." Eleanor interrupted them. "Okay, Kyoka, your word is 'rajpramukh.'"
"What? No way that's English," Kyoka said.
"Well, it's used in English, but it's borrowed directly from Hindi."
"What? No, not possible. I want the origin of the word."
"Rajpramukh. A Hindi term derived from Sanskrit. This administrative title was used in India from 1947 to 1956 for the appointed governors of princely states that integrated into the Indian Union," Eleanor explained.
"India‽ What? Why would there be Indian words in English?" Kyoka asked.
"Hmm…good question, Kyoka. Why would there be Indian loanwords in English? I wonder what could have possibly happened in the past during the 20th century for the influx of Indian terms into English? This is truly a great mystery," The sarcasm was oozing from Eleanor.
"Okay, come on, you don't have to be like that," Kyoka said.
"I know, but it's fun anyway. The reason is that when the British, or what were the British, ruled India, or what was called the British Raj at the time, there was a lot of cultural exchange. This is where words like 'cashmere,' 'shampoo,' and 'pajamas' come from. Just to name a few."
"Huh. That's kind of interesting."
"Anyway, please spell the word, Kyoka."
"Oh, right, uh…um…R-A-J-P-R-U-H-M-U-U-K?"
"That is…incorrect. Please take a seat, Kyoka," Eleanor said.
"No one's gotten anything right. We're all doomed. Someone has to get a word right. Momo, Iida, one of you has to get a word right." Kamninari said.
"Momo, you're next," Eleanor called up Momo, and Momo went up to the podium. "Your word is 'appoggiatura.'"
Momo closed her eyes to think. For her, it felt like it was getting out of hand. Something about the rise of difficulty didn't make sense to her. Eleanor went from 'cat' to 'appoggiatura' in only two rounds.
"Can I have the definition and use of the word in a sentence?"
"Appoggiatura: in music, a note that is played or sung quickly before the main note of a song. Her hands, drawn to the keyboard, floated into a long appoggiatura," Eleanor said.
Momo let out a deep sigh. It wasn't helping at all. She's never heard of this word. She kept thinking and thinking. At this point, she was trying to analyze the other words given by Eleanor to see what kind of patterns emerged.
"Please spell the word, Momo."
"Uh…A-P–O-G-I-T-U-R-A."
"That is…incorrect. Please take a seat, Momo."
"It's over. Even Momo got it wrong. We're doomed, and there's nothing we can do," Kaminari was in despair.
"Come on, it's not that serious. You're acting like the world is ending or something," Kyoka said.
"What is this language?" Momo muttered to herself.
"Let's continue," Eleanor said.
The round was a massacre. No one else spelled their word correctly. Ochaco misspelled 'xyloglyphy,' Iida misspelled 'ecchymosis,' and Midoriya misspelled 'kaffeeklatsch.' Everyone was feeling terrible.
"Alright, well, that last round was not the best, but we carry on. This is the fourth and final round. And the most exciting!" Eleanor said.
"Yeah, exciting for you! We're suffering over here! But at least it can't get worse, right?" Kaminari said.
Eleanor let out a devilish grin at Kaminari's words. "Oh, you poor soul. Come on up, Kaminari."
"Is this what she would look like if she were a villain?" Mina said.
Kaminari went up to the podium like a man heading to the gallows.
"Okay, Kaminari, your word is…'floccinaucinihilipilification.'"
Kaminari closed his eyes and accepted his fate. He voluntarily got off the podium. He wasn't even going to try. He sat back down. "There's no point to this; it's useless."
"Kaminari, please stop with your floccinaucinihilipilification," Eleanor said.
"There is no way you just used that word in a sentence," Kaminari said.
"Oh, but I did. It fits the situation. You're deeming this whole thing as useless or having no value. Well, since you refused to try to spell it, I'll call the next person up. Mina, you're next, come on up," Eleanor said. Mina sighed and went up to the podium.
"Mercy, Eleanor?" Mina pleaded.
"Nope. Your word is 'hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia.'"
"Ah, geez. Um…uh…yeah, no, I'm not doing this." Mina got off the podium and sat back down.
"Hmm, oh well. Next up is Iida. Come on up," Eleanor said. It was Iida's turn. "Your word is 'hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia.'"
"This can't be a real word," Iida said.
"It is. It's the term for the fear of long words. Kind of ironic, though. With these words, I'm going to cut you off as soon as you get a letter wrong. So, please spell it, Iida."
Iida lifted his glasses, ready to tackle the challenge. "Very well. H-I-P-P-O-P-O-T-O-M-O-N-S-T-R-O-S-E-S-Q-U-I-P-E—" Eleanor cut him off.
"That is wrong, Iida. Please, sit down. It was a good attempt, though," Eleanor said. Iida went to sit back down before Eleanor called the next person. "Midoriya, you're up." Midoriya went up next. "Your word is 'eellogofusciouhipoppokunurious.'"
"Uh…E-L—" He was cut off.
"That is incorrect, Midoriya."
"I just started!"
"You started wrong. The first letters are E-E-L-L," Eleanor explained. "Now, please take a seat. The next person is Momo." Momo went up to the podium after Midoriya sat back down. "Okay, Momo, your word is 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.'"
"Um…what?"
"Please spell the word, Momo."
"P-N-E-U-M-O-U—" She was interrupted again.
"That is incorrect. Please, take a seat. Come on, guys, I expected better from all of you," Eleanor said.
"You're giving us impossible words! They have to be made up." Mina said.
"They're not impossible, Mina, you can spell them. Also, all words are technically 'made up.," Eleanor said.
Mina sighed. "Whatever." [Ochaco]
"Okay, next up is Kyoka," Eleanor said. Kyoka went up. Everyone already knew no one was going to get anything right. "Okay, Kyoka, your word is 'pseudorhombicuboctahedron.'"
"What in the world? W-what even is that?" Kyoka asked.
"Pseudorhombicuboctahedron. A convex polyhedron with 8 equilateral triangles and 18 squares," Eleanor explained.
"I don't know, uh, um…P-S-E-U-D-O-R-O—" Kyoka was interrupted by Eleanor.
"That is incorrect. Please take a seat. And last, but not least, it's your turn, Ochaco. Come on up," Eleanor said. Kyoka went back to sit down while Ochacho went up. "Okay, Ochaco, your word is 'canaliculodacryocystorhinostomy.'"
Ochaco didn't know what to do, so she went back and sat down, not even attempting to spell the word.
"Hmm…well, that concludes the evaluation. I have to say, I'm kind of disappointed. None of you even got words of the last two rounds," Eleanor said. When she looked at all of them, they were like soldiers having a 1000-yard stare. "Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad."
"Yes, it was. Most of those words weren't even English! They were French, Indian, and a bunch of other stuff!" Kaminari said.
"Alright, alright, fine. Look, I apologize. I'm anaspeptic, phrasmotic, even compunctuous to have caused you all such pericombobulation," Eleanor said, another grin on her face.
"What? You're what? Forget it, I don't even know anymore," Kaminari said.
"I think she just means she's sorry?" Midoriya said. "If we take the context clues, I think 'anaspeptic,' phrasmotic,' and 'compunctuous' are words that mean she's…sorry? Or at least that she feels bad for causing us to feel this way. Which, I also think, is what 'pericombobulation' means. I think 'pericombulation' means a state of confusion?" Midoriya continued.
"See? Look at that. You guys are learning. Without any floccinaucinihilipilification, you'll find that things will be more helpful than it appears at first glance," Eleanor said.
"Maybe, uh…words like that aren't necessary to use all the time?" Momo said.
"Maybe, but these are so rarely used that you have to seize the moment when you can to use them; you'll feel eellogofusciouhipoppokunurious if you do," Eleanor said.
"Please stop," Momo said.
"Alright, alright. Well, this was a good study session. So, what did we all learn about English?" Eleanor asked.
"That it's dumb?" Kaminari said.
"It doesn't follow its own rules?" Momo said.
"English has more words that aren't English than words that are English?" Mina said.
"Correct! All of you are right! I'm such a good teacher. Yes, it's all true. You see, English isn't one language. It's a battle royale between four main competitors: Old English, Norse, Latin, and French. Then there are also a few punches thrown in by other languages, like the Asian languages we discussed earlier, Italian, Spanish, some African languages, and a bit more," Eleanor explained. "So, take the lessons you've learned and you should do fine in your English final. Probably," Eleanor shrugged her shoulders.
"I think fighting the teachers for the practical final exam will be easier," Kaminari said.
Thus, the day ended with Eleanor having a fun time. Unfortunately, the same can't be said for her classmates.