"Stop acting out of character, what's the situation?" Tsunade rubbed her pounding temples. At such a critical, world-altering moment, this feline was still fooling around.
Being Hokage was utterly exhausting. If she weren't stuck in the chair, she wouldn't have to handle a problem child... no, that wasn't accurate. It was a problem cat.
Takeshi's raw strength had spiked so fast that Tsunade constantly suffered from the bizarre illusion that he was still just a pet, when in reality he was a top-tier powerhouse. She took a deep breath, forced down her boiling annoyance, and refocused on the disaster at hand.
"Meow~ all wrapped up. Black Zetsu is permanently sealed. Madara won't be returning to the shinobi world anymore."
"Oh?" Tsunade's brown eyes widened slightly.
So the man wasn't dead, he just chose to exile himself out in the cold void of space? Faced with an enemy of his caliber, she naturally assumed the worst. Madara was highly problematic, who knew if he'd stir up a fresh nightmare from the shadows?
But after thinking it through, keeping the ghost off-planet was vastly better than locking him in an underground cell. He was a walking disaster, there was no telling when he'd violently explode and flatten the entire village.
"These eyes are...?"
"Meow~ Madara gave them to Shisui. Call it a bloody apology." Takeshi relayed the events honestly.
Tsunade nodded slowly. She took the jar, examined the rippling purple irises briefly, and secured them with heavy Fuinjutsu. "When Shisui successfully returns, I'll give them to him."
"Meow! Where is he? Still out there wandering lost?" Takeshi sounded genuinely puzzled. Surely no one had actually left the brilliant brat stranded in enemy territory.
"He safely found the eastern patrol team. He's resting at the border camp now. Kura has already gone ahead to securely escort him back."
"Meow." Takeshi nodded. He still trusted Tsunade's character, she was far more reliable than the Third had been, and she wouldn't play ugly political games when dealing with the Uchiha. What was promised would be delivered.
Some heavy scrutiny on the boy was inevitable, though. He had actively trained under the enemy, and Madara had violently planted a Cursed seal near his heart.
The gathered shinobi dispersed quickly. At first, the miraculous second moon had terrified everyone. But once they learned Takeshi was the mastermind, their dread turned highly complicated, especially among the Jonin.
Saying Konoha harbored someone on the exact level of the Sage sounded fantastic on paper, but the reality was that their supreme powerhouse was a lazy black cat who didn't even live in the village. He managed his own sanctuary called Kuraokami. They were technically just business partners.
Of course, everyone clearly understood that the Hokage heavily favored the feline. What little remained of the Senju's priceless heirlooms had been casually gifted to him.
Back in the village, Takeshi specifically avoided the Hyuga compound. Even though the lunar refugees had deeply tangled genetic ties with the Byakugan, this clearly wasn't the right era to aggressively push them together.
With Madara permanently exiled and the parasite locked away, the remaining White Zetsu completely shut down. As for the Demonic Statue of the Outer Path...
It was still physically resting in Kirigakure, but Takeshi and Nagato flawlessly synchronized their Six Paths chakra to instantly summon the massive husk straight into Kuraokami. The Third Mizukage had been actively plotting to dissect the artifact, but halfway through their little scheme, the prize simply vanished.
They had absolutely no choice but to swallow the loss. Kirigakure wasn't polite enough to return lost property out of moral conscience, they were only reasonable because they knew they couldn't win a fight.
With a god-tier feline pressing down over their heads, no one dared scheme against the Konoha.
As his reputation spread, Kuraokami's legendary name echoed across the continent. Soon, everyone knew the mythical sanctuary was hidden somewhere deep within the Land of Snow. Now, even that frozen country was entirely untouchable.
The most miserable leaders over this revelation were Onoki and Hanzo. Onoki suffered because the snow bordered his territory. The daimyo had once boldly asked if Iwagakure could annex a few frozen mountains. Yeah, best absolutely forget that. Onoki was a stark realist.
As for Hanzo, he was in pure, suffocating agony.
Yukigakure had recently started accepting standard missions, so the world quickly realized a highly capable hidden village had violently emerged. Investigations revealed it was the exact same Akatsuki he had previously ambushed.
Realizing that, Hanzo didn't even need to think hard. He instantly understood who had truly incinerated Danzo.
'Never thought it'd be you dumping the political blame on my head!' Hanzo fumed silently. It had obviously been Konoha slaughtering its own rogue elder, yet he'd been thoroughly bled dry by Tsunade's reparations demands.
So what if he knew the absolute truth now? Did Konoha not know? Danzo was a rotting shit-stirrer. Compared to the cat who had single-handedly ended the global war, the choice was obvious. If he dared raise a formal complaint, Akatsuki would probably march back to Amegakure and slaughter him the very next morning.
Hanzo was terrified. When a demigod runs into a true god, he ends up completely helpless.
Peacetime was incredibly boring. Takeshi only occasionally popped over to Kumogakure, relentlessly teasing Ay and his brother just to squeeze some easy points out of them. The Land of Lightning had actually followed his rough economic advice, building sturdy bridges and carving trade routes through the treacherous mountains. Their economy had drastically improved.
They still couldn't match Konoha's sheer wealth, but they were doing fantastic. Crushing the Land of Water in a proxy conflict was no problem at all.
More than a year later...
"Takeshi, Kushina might give birth today. Could you come take a look? She'll be physically weak during the labor, so the seal might forcefully loosen..." Minato contacted him via the Flying Thunder God.
Hmm. So Naruto was arriving slightly early?
Takeshi warped directly to the hospital and learned Kushina was already in the heavily warded operating room. The delicate delivery was in the highly capable hands of Tsunade and Rin Nohara.
"Takeshi, I'm sorry to still bother you..."
"Meow~ it's fine. With me sitting here, the fox won't dare cause trouble. Do you have a name picked out?"
"Hahaha, Kushina and I talked it over. I'm a commoner, so I don't carry a clan name. We figured we'd use Uzumaki. As for his given name, we'll strictly borrow the hero from Sensei's first book: Naruto Uzumaki! How's that?"
"Meow~ Jiraiya's naming sense is incredibly dumb. You should call him Vortex Ramen."
"I like it. Naruto it is." Minato's bright smile radiated the pure, overwhelming joy of a first-time father. "Speaking of which, I heard Fugaku's younger son is arriving soon too. They're planning to name him Sasuke."
Naruto and Sasuke, huh?
Takeshi felt a sharp bit of nostalgia. But he knew these two would grow up entirely different from their fated counterparts. The ancient chakra would no longer violently reincarnate. They would just be ordinary prodigies, not tragic puppets swayed by a dead rivalry.
"I walk into the hallway and the first thing I hear is you aggressively badmouthing me. Could you show a little basic respect?"
"Meow? You planning to finally pay back the massive debt you owe me?"
"Ahem. The name Naruto sounds highly respectable. Though Vortex Ramen isn't entirely bad either. I'm really happy you chose it, Minato." Jiraiya coughed loudly and swiftly changed the subject.
The hospital filled with an easy, radiant atmosphere. Suddenly, the heavy doors pushed open, and the sterile air was pierced by a loud, healthy cry.
Takeshi was quietly moved. The boys had successfully entered the world, but the future was completely overwritten. They would never have to face Black Zetsu, and Kaguya would remain locked in stone forever.
The only lingering question was how to handle the alien scouts decades from now. That was a problem for the distant future. Those were guaranteed points! He glanced at his interface, his heart full of greedy expectation.
Life was fantastic. The future could wait for the future. As a Sage Neko, one had to be completely zen.
Takeshi sprawled comfortably out at a premium massage parlor, personally attended to by Kabuto Yakushi, living an exceedingly luxurious life.
Outside, the fifth stone face was officially carved into the mountain. The Fifth Hokage: Minato Namikaze.
Some influential Jonin had formally proposed making Takeshi Hokage, but he rejected the ridiculous notion himself. Sitting at a desk was absolutely not his line of work. Still, opposite the massive main gates, a sleek statue of a black cat resting on a towering spire had been erected.
It permanently symbolized the unbreakable friendship between Konoha and Kuraokami.
(A/N: Maybe it looked a bit out of place, but inspiration had run dry, and it felt like the story had naturally reached its end. Dragging it out any longer would just dull it.
Thank you for staying all the way.)
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