Author's Note:
Hello ^^
So the hiatus lasted more than I intended, that's because this chapter took 2 whole weeks to write, and I also had a few mental health issues these past days, but finally its here. And it's insanely long, so I do recommend for you to read it in parts if you don't have much time to read it or if you wish so.
To be honest, this chapter was really hard to write because I've been going through a few moments of self-doubt and mostly been having writer's block because of it. It's hard to write a whole story while also trying to improve as a writer and not let other's works affect your own.
Seeing better works is more harmful than good for my own journey so I've been having a lot of self-reflection moments, and even considered deleting all my works (impulsivity is bad kids), but here I am.
I also worked on the Index a bit, its more organized, has more info on the worldbuilding and I even added the character's birthdays and the timeline of the story if you wish to check it out. I also posted a new side story on a few side characters if you'd like to check it out.
Please enjoy the chapter, thank you for reading and have a good week!
⚠︎ This chapter has instances of blood, violence, drugs, homophobia and mentions of child abuse and attempted sexual abuse.
♬ RUNRUNRUN by Dutch Melrose ♬
"The sublime feeling of being in love and being terrified are so similar one might even say they're synonyms. Being in love is being vulnerable, scared and ecstatic, but where is the line between love and fear? When does the fear of losing the one you love become so great you'd rather die than losing them?"
Nikias and Lyor spend a good portion of their afternoon walking around the Festival, talking with all the vendors, greeting Priests and talking about the Kingdom's future. These few hours they spent together were of a peace much needed for both of them, considering their recent busy nights.
To Nikias, he was spending his time studying and working towards the future he wishes to have, while Lyor is training and planning war strategies along with Anwar.
They stop at the Castle gardens, the time says it's already night, however there is no clear sign in the skies as Nikias is used to. I'll need to get used to this once I start living here, he thinks as he sits down at the chair in the small gazebo at the garden. A maid approaches them, laying down a tea set.
He doesn't know the maid's name, and she acts swiftly, pretending to be invisible, probably instructed by Keres to do so, avoiding interrupting the merry time of the couple.
''...Will you go to the next conquest soon?'' Nikias asks once they're left alone, holding the teacup, feeling the warmth on his cold fingers. How can summer be so cold? Is it due to Lyor's mana?
''Anwar and I were planning to go around April'', Lyor answers, sipping down the tea, he frowns.
''Where are you planning to go next?''
''The Bitki Kingdom is making suspicious movements for a while, there's some spies planted there that said they're moving boats and boats out of their shores, we have reason to suspect they're trafficking halflings towards the Hai Empire'', Lyor says, pushing away the half-full teacup.
''Do you not enjoy the tea?'' Nikias asks, finishing the cup and signaling to the maid - that is stationed far to not hear their conversation, yet close enough to see them - so that she can fill his teacup back again.
''I do not like tea very much'', Lyor smiles faintly.
''I see, this tea is quite exquisite, though'', Nikias comments, the floral scent is not very enticing, but the flavor is more earthy and fruity, reminding him of his usual black tea and plums. ''Could you bring some wine?'' He directs his words to the maid.
''There's no need to bring something else for me, Nikias, and it's way too early to start drinking'', Lyor says, shaking his head.
''Well, I do quite wish for a glass of wine with you, wouldn't you accompany me?''
Lyor smiles, ''Sure, if that's what you wish for''.
The maid leaves, and they continue their conversation. ''If they're trafficking to the Hai Empire…'', Nikias ponders, drinking a bit more of his tea. ''It could be related to my suspicions, especially if they're halflings''.
''That they might be using their blood for rituals?''
''Precisely, however I just don't have the reason yet…'' Nikias sighs with frustration. ''I feel like I'm missing something important to be able to see the full picture''.
''Wouldn't it be possible to seek assistance in the Hai Empire itself?'' Lyor asks.
Nikias shakes his head. ''They're too hostile… Plus they live for war, slaughtering their own kin for glory, why would they assist others? And we cannot exclude the possibility that the Imperial Family might be involved''.
''Wouldn't they answer if their goddess asks?'' Lyor says, leaning back onto his chair, pondering. ''I hear they're religious''.
''Yes, of course, but I do not think the War goddess cares much'', Nikias says, placing his teacup back on the table. ''Even if she did, they're still too proud to assist us, they would rather start a manhunt and slaughter the Time Cult than cooperate''.
''If one of the Princes…''
''No'', Nikias interrupts the King, shaking his head. ''I already considered that, but the ones old enough to have any political importance are at war somewhere or have their hands in behaviour I do wish to associate with''.
''Slavery''.
''...Extortion, torture, murder, debauchery and the list goes on'', Nikias sighs again, silence befalling them when the maid returns with the wine.
Once she's far again, Lyor serves their wine, as he seems to think.
''Having allies in other Kingdoms could present useful'', Lyor comments, swirling his glass, the red wine dancing inside of it, but he doesn't drink it, compared to Nikias, who simply gulps down half of it at once.
''To go against the Hai Empire we would need to root out their allies first'', Nikias points out, filling his glass again. ''Unfortunately, in our continent… The Whisperia Kingdom is hopeless, I wouldn't expect them to last long with the amount of civil wars happening there, especially after the youngest Prince was killed by my brother…'', he comments, ''The Gypsum Kingdom is a good ally, with good resources, but nothing on the military front, I did made a deal with their Crown Princess, but I can't expect much from them. The Abfluo Kingdom is still gathering the pieces after the coup, and their King haven't even married yet, there's not much to expect from a Kingdom that put another fool on the throne after deposing the past fool.''
''What about the Saxum Kingdom? They have a big territory, aren't they known for their weaponry?'' Lyor asks, finally drinking his wine.
''Yes, but…'' Nikias trails off, he doesn't wish to establish a deal with it, especially considering original Nikias' wife is from there, it's weird… And he doesn't know what the current Royal family thinks about him. Well, it was good enough for them to approve a marriage. ''I do not have any connection with their Royal Family.''
''It's not usual for you to act so meekly'', Lyor points out. ''Did you have a bad experience with them?''
''No, that's not it, I just don't feel especially keen into developing relationships with Kingdoms that were eager to attack the Empire decades ago'', Nikias lies, he's not used to lying to Lyor, it feels weird, his head hurts. No. Why is he lying? There's no need to lie. ''Actually, the previous… Nikias'', he says cautiously, staring at his empty glass, ''Was interested in marrying one of the Princessess, Alicia Mons''.
''So you're worried she'll notice the difference?''
Nikias shakes his head. ''It's more like I am fearful of engaging with those that share a past with him. There will always be comparisons, however, it's different when he was romantically interested in her''.
''Why?'' Lyor asks, his eyes darken, he's staring directly at him and he can't match his gaze.
''Because I don't know how to behave, I was never romantically interested in women, but it would be weird if I interacted with her as I am now, I just don't feel comfortable'', Nikias shakes his head, filling his cup once again, shaking the empty bottle, trying to get the last drops to fall in the glass.
''Aren't there others in the family you could speak to?'' Lyor asks.
''There are, sorry… I was just…''
''Nikias, you do not need to justify yourself, living in someone else's skin is something no one would ever be able to imagine, yet you're doing so, if you say you're uncomfortable, then that's final, we can always gather allies in other Kingdoms''. Lyor's words are calm and sweet, he always seems to say the right thing when Nikias' heart is feeling troubled.
''What about here? I couldn't find much information about the other Kingdoms, but there must be good ones'', Nikias asks, supporting his head on his hand, leaning forward.
''Yes, there's the Lumen Kingdom'', Lyor points out, ''They're small, but they produce a lot of jewelry'', he comments, ''The other Kingdoms… Well, they're just as isolated as us, but they do not engage in slavery, so I didn't pay much attention to them. My apologies, after we become an Empire we should send envoys and try to create a trade route''.
''We should build a railroad'', Nikias says, ''The engineering is exclusive to the Exos Empire, but I could speak with my father and make it my dowry since you refuse any money''.
Lyor nods. ''Anything you wish for Nikias, as long as there's no debt made''.
''Of course''.
After that they talk a bit more about the trade route Nikias is planning to establish, the business and the Festival, skipping even dinner as the wine bottles accumulate and later retiring to their separate rooms.
❥
The four days Nikias spent in the Morke Kingdom were quick to pass, he spent a good portion walking the gardens, chatting with Lyor and studying at the Temples. Once returning to the Empire he felt his body burn once again, collapsing right away.
Waking up a few hours later with a throbbing headache and a layer of sweat covering his whole body. ''How long has it passed?'' He asks Raphael, who's sitting next to his bed, his eyes are red and it's clear he was worried.
''Just four hours'', Raphael answers, his voice hoarse. ''You gave us quite the scare, your highness, collapsing all of the sudden''.
''I see'', Nikias nods, attempting to get out of bed, but is stopped by Raphael's firm hand. ''I need to work'', he says.
''You're unwell!'' Raphael says with a frown, clearly worried. ''Your highness, Lowe went to fetch medicine, please at least wait for him to come back!''
''Raphael, I cannot wait, there's too much to do!''
''Your highness, please'', Raphael begs, making Nikias sigh, he knows the Knight is still traumatized by his death, so he stops trying to get up, settling for sitting instead. ''Your mana levels are unstable, like a child's''.
''Considering I just recently got mana, it makes sense'', Nikias nods, leaning back, his eyes on the white ceiling. ''How long will this last?''
''It could last weeks or months, there's no telling'', Raphael sighs, his hands fidgety. ''I worry your highness might be overworking yourself''.
Nikias scoffs. ''Ain't I overworking everyone?''
''Isn't that the point of having subordinates?'' Raphael says, ''You can rely more on us, your highness, if you wish I could still serve you closely-''
He's interrupted by the Second Prince's words: ''Raphael, I do not need to lighten my burden by increasing yours''.
''Then hire more people, your highness'', he begs.
''I'll think about it'', Nikias says, not really meaning his words, he's already with his hands full hiring the people for the store, he cannot possibly increase even more the people surrounding him, he'll risk his safety even more if he does so.
Raphael doesn't insist, and soon Lowe comes back, administering the medicine and scolding the Prince over overworking just like his twin. But what good does it do? Once the twins leave his room, Nikias gets up from his bed and sits on his desk, going over documents for a good portion of the night, even if his head feels like splitting open.
Even Petal feels the fluctuation of his mana, sitting on his hand, trying to stop the Prince from working, and making noises of worry.
''I know Petal, but this is necessary for our future'', he says with a sad smile. ''I cannot bear to let anything be done poorly''. The fairy shakes her head, pulling his finger. ''I'm sorry'', he smiles weakly again. ''I'll stop after a few more documents, ok?''
Pausing and then moving away, Petal sits on the desk, watching the Prince work.
Like that, the second to last day of the month arrives.
The Capital's square is lively, all different people walking as they go on about their days, servants buying the whims of nobles, while nobles walk by ignoring the existence of the commoners fastly walking towards their jobs and the poor people of the slums sitting on the floor, begging for money just to be able to spend another day alive.
Cobblestone pavements, fancy buildings and flowers decorating its streets although its winter cannot hide the dirt. There's no ignoring the fancy carriage parked near the square, though, nor the gorgeous human standing next to a new building.
Second Prince Nikias is wearing a white social shirt and pants, covered with a thick white coat with red fox fur near the neckline and golden buttons, his hands are protected by white gloves he got as a gift from Lyor at the beginning of the month and on his feet are his usual black boots that are already battered.
His hair is styled half slicked back and half down, the overgrown hair is now almost reaching the end of his neck and on the part of his hair that is slicked back, there is a small pin of a peach flower in gold he got from his mother as a congratulation for his business.
''I never knew you liked peaches'', she said when they met the day prior. ''I had to ask your attendants for your tastes, perhaps we should engage more and talk about it'', her attempt to socialize with her son was quickly shot down by the man, as he doesn't wish for any more fake pleasantries, although he did quite like the gift.
''...Your highness, we're ready'', Fleuri runs towards the Prince, his breath unstable and he's carrying a bottle filled with coffee to the brim, even from a few steps away, Nikias can smell the strong scent of the beverage. Fleuri is also wearing fancy clothes, his blonde hair is decorated by a few small braids, still hiding his ears, his social shirt is black and he's using a mustard yellow vest on top, his pants are also black as so are his social shoes, and on the same arm as he's carrying the coffee bottle, he's also carrying his mustard yellow blazer.
Seeing the man like this makes Nikias recall the conversation he had with Dacre a few weeks ago, on his aide's love life. The fact that one of the people Nikias is highly wary of confessed to his aide was troubling, although he cannot say for sure the man had any ill intent in his actions. An ally to the heroine, yet a man of his own whims… I do not see why he would be interested in Fleuri, especially when he's already engaged to marry. Well, there's a lot he doesn't understand, and questioning much when he doesn't have all the pieces will only further his headache.
The fact the symptoms of mana poisoning haven't subdued yet worries all that are in his inner circle, but the Prince hides his pain well. No one looking at him right now would suspect he's going through a hard time.
''Everyone is in position, and the crowd is starting to gather'', Fleuri comments, drinking more of his coffee, Nikias can see his hand shaking. ''After your speech we'll move to opening the doors, we're expecting around 60% of products to sell in the first two hours after the opening, the fact that the newspapers reported the inauguration in their front pages increased around 10% to what we were previously expecting''.
''They're here to see me fail'', Nikias says, sighing, a breath cloud leaving his lips as he speaks due to the cold. ''Let's prove them all wrong'', he finishes, taking a deep breath.
Fleuri nods, gulping down the rest of his coffee before tossing his bottle inside the carriage and putting on his blazer. ''Your highness, everything will be perfect'', he says, as if trying to reassure himself not the Prince.
''Yes, Fleuri, let's make this store successful, no matter what'', Nikias says with a nod.
Nikias new store, Golden Light, is located at the heart of the main square of the Capital, where the Imperial Palace is seen in the distance and the two main Temples of the Empire can also be seen, at the center of the square there's a fountain with the sculpture of Emperor Aelius holding his sword and wearing his crown. The square is called Sunset Square, as at sunset the colors reflected on the fountain's water make a rainbow regardless of the weather, a fun gimmick said to be put there by Empress Nyx.
The store's building has three floors - besides a basement where the Information Guild is -, and the outside's is decorated with red bricks, the sign with the store's name is made of light mana stone, not only lighting up by itself but also giving a golden aspect to it, getting the attention of anyone walking by. The door is tall and white with a golden handle, dangling on it is a small board with the working hours of the store, on the side there's a board with a few of the items for sale and information of the services available.
It reads:
Golden Light
The one and only store by Second Prince Nikias Gregor Chrysl
The only place you'll find goods from the isolated Morke Kingdom!
Open to all.
1st floor: Sales
2nd floor: Cafe
3rd floor: Exclusive products (invitation only!)
Here you'll find products like herbs, flowers and fruits only ever seen by those an ocean away!
Come in and explore new flavours you'd never have a chance before.
They did a good job, Nikias thinks, admiring the windows, framed in white, just like the door, with lace curtains that show just enough to make others curious, he can even smell the fruits from beyond the closed door. As he walks by the people towards the entrance where he'll make his opening speech, he can hear them whispering.
Some hoped for his failure, others curious about his endeavor, some questioning even how many goods could that small Kingdom possibly have, and very few actually discussing the most impressive thing there: the fact they're open to all.
Commoners, nobles, even those from the slums can purchase their goods as long as they have money. There is no point in spreading about the Kingdom only to those in nobility, they're only three percent of the population, after all.
That's why the first floor is for sales, products near expiration date that must be consumed immediately are more affordable to those with not much money, herbs that are old or flowers that are almost withering, they're still effective and beautiful, but wouldn't be bought by those of higher standing. While the more premium items are on the third floor, however not even nobles can access it by simply entering the store, being an area where you must know someone to get an invitation, creating an exclusivity most nobles die for.
The second floor is a place where commoners can taste the products before buying and nobles can pay for private rooms to chat over an imported cup of overpriced tea. A cafe serving cakes made with fresh fruit, herbal teas and even fruit platers with samples of every fruit they're selling.
If the store doesn't succeed it would take a toll on Nikias' finances, his plans and most importantly, on the underground information guild he also started, located on the basement of the store, the Sandman Information Guild will focus on gathering intel of those who frequent the store, selling that information to the highest bidder and also slowly getting commissions so they can plant spies all over the Empire.
This is Nikias' biggest gamble. Even bigger than his marriage, if this fails, he'll need to change all of his plans, not to mention the toll it'll be on the trust others' have on him, especially on the Morke Kingdom, who has the most to gain from this trade.
Disappointing Lyor would be unbearable.
There's no second try.
He takes a deep breath once he reaches where he'll do his speech, he can see all of his Knights working near the crowd, their uniforms blend well, almost making them invisible, not that Scarlet's red hair or Dacre's pink one are exactly inconspicuous. Next to him, Fleuri is standing straight, hiding his trembling hands behind his back.
The bustling crowd goes silent the moment he starts to speak: ''You're gathered here today with different agendas. Some of you are curious to see what I have stored, others are hoping to see me making a fool of myself, and the rest are merely killing time'', he smiles, dazzlingly. ''This store is for all of you, for the nobles bored of monotony, for the commoners frustrated with scraps and those who gather coin after coin just to see another day'', the confused expression of the audience makes him smile even more, excited to see the result of months of hard work. ''Products never seen before in the Empire, and others that are merely rare, everyone will be able to have a taste of the Morke Kingdom, a place previously isolated across the Blue Sea'', he continues, turning to the building. ''Golden Light is a representation of me, in the Empire where I was born and raised, to the Kingdom where I'll soon be. I hope with this, you'll all learn to appreciate the products of my second home''.
Once he's finished, Fleuri steps forward, ''His highness will take a few questions now'', he says, and just then Nikias notices the journalists, the notepads on hand and recording devices floating near their shoulder.
''Your highness, how do you believe this produces will fit in the every-day life of the commonfolk?'' A reporter asks.
''As it says on the sign, the first floor will have sales, products affordable to all, just like the food we buy everyday, I hope we'll soon have households eating Morke produces on a daily basis'', he answers.
Another one asks next: ''Pardon me, but what do you intend to gain with this store, your highness?''
''Spreading Morke's products will increase the bond between the two nations. As soon as I become the King Consort of the Kingdom, I do wish to deepen such bonds positively as the Exos Empire will forever be my home'', he lies perfectly. ''I do believe it's about time goods from across the Blue Sea aren't luxury anymore''.
Fleuri accepts a final question from another reporter: ''How can one get an invitation to purchase the luxury goods offered?''
''We sent a few invitations the week prior to nobles and merchants with a good relationship with me, however golden clients can send out invitations as well'', he says with a soft smile, the reporter blushes. ''One can become a golden client by simply regularly purchasing our goods at a certain threshold, even someone that spends a certain amount on the first floor can become a golden client and frequent the third floor'', he continues: ''It isn't noble-exclusive''.
He can see by the face of the few nobles there that they aren't happy, well, Nikias couldn't care less, his objective is the commoners with glimmer in their eyes, exclusivity and luxury that previously was only available to nobles, that can make their greed come out.
And even if some nobles might get angry and report him to the internal affairs of the Palace, nothing will happen.
This is the good part of being above the law. He can make statements like saving halflings and making spaces for all, and the nobles cannot touch him. Especially considering he'll soon be married off to another Kingdom, he isn't even the heir. They have no basis to even start a coup or a simple revolt.
If they're unhappy they can try to sabotage the business, which is to be expected, however Nikias also has a few precautions put in place for that, and Gutierre being the manager of the store and the guild is instructed to take care of any sabotages as he sees fit as long as it doesn't backfire badly on the Prince.
The store is to be overseen and managed by Gutierre with occasional inspections by Fleuri and with Nikias overseeing the final ledgers. Of course, the man had to sign a blood contract for it, otherwise Nikias would make sure to oversee everything himself.
And he cannot lose that much time with it, otherwise it would lose its purpose.
He opens the door of the store, announcing the official inauguration, a dazzling smile on his lips, a smile that will surely be on the front page of every newspaper the next day.
❥
Almost two months passed after the inauguration of Golden Light, during the two months, Nikias spent most of his time commuting from the Palace to the store, dealing with the last details of it in order to make sure everything was perfect before passing the baton officially to Gutierre.
''Happy birthday, your highness'', Gutierre says, bowing, he's wearing the Golden Phoenices uniform with a crown shaped golden pin on his chest, the symbol Nikias decided to go to for the store, as it was the same resting on Lowe and Raphael after the mana pact. The pin is used by all four employees during work hours, and only Gutierre as the manager uses it all the time alongside his uniform.
The information guild is currently giving its first baby steps, and only two of the four employees actively work at it, while working for the Sandman Information Guild, they use long black robes and golden fox masks, trading it for a black shirt and pants if they're doing any reckoning in person.
''Thank you, Gutierre'', Nikias says, pushing his soaked hair back, although he's been thinking about how annoying long his hair is, he still hasn't cut it, the length now reaching his shoulders, so much so that he's constantly using hair ties or requesting Lowe to style it. Of course he wants to cut it off soon, and asking for a hairstylist to come to the Palace wouldn't be a bother, however he needs time for it.
Currently he's been using it for work, sleep or training.
Since today is his 19th birthday, his subordinates kindly locked his office and said he should rest, making the man spend four hours training at the training grounds since he woke up at sunrise. He could've ordered them to open his office up, but even he can tell he needs a break, not cutting his hair is only one of the things he's been neglecting.
''I heard you won't have a ball'', Gutierre comments, leaning against one of the trees of the training grounds, watching as the prince shoots arrows against an already filled with arrows target.
''Yes, brother's marriage is only two months away, the Palace is completely chaotic, no one cares about my 19th birthday'', Nikias scoffs, shooting another arrow, his hands burn due to his neglect of bringing protective gear.
''That's a lie, I saw the pile of letters in your office'', Gutierre points out, his eyes are carefully watching the Prince, ''Raise your elbow a bit more, your highness'', he comments.
Nikias nods, following the advice. ''The Temple is bothering me, just as the mana poisoning got better, the incessant letters from the Head Priest didn't''.
''Well, it was quite the scene'', the man says with a smirk.
The Second Prince shoots another arrow, his forehead dripping sweat. ''And the other letters are from nobles trying to get a piece of the store'', he follows his statement with a scoff, reaching for another arrow, just to find his waist quiver empty. ''If they believed in me so much, they should've invested before the store sold out in mere hours''.
''To be fair, you didn't tell anyone about it until one week before inauguration'', Gutierre says.
''Rumors were circling after I bought the building, but they thought I was too stupid to manage such feat'', he scoffs, ''Fools.''
''Is the King coming today?'' The Knight changes the subject.
''Yes, we'll be having dinner with my parents, after we'll be having drinks with all the Knights, will you make it?'' Nikias asks, retrieving the arrows from the target. Lowe was in charge of planning his birthday, and although it won't be a ball or any big festivity, he still needs to plan a menu, manage employees and make sure everything is in place.
''I'm not sure, Ginevra is returning from the West Duchy this afternoon, it will all depend on how much intel she managed to gather'', Gutierre shrugs.
''I see, don't forget to report back to me as soon as you get the news''.
Gutierre smiles: ''Dacre said he'll castrate anyone that brings you work today''.
''You already have kids, so I don't see the problem'', the Prince says, making the Knight laugh. ''Just make sure to report the first thing tomorrow'', he gives in, with a sigh, sure Dacre would follow his threat, even if it was the Prince that decided to work by himself.
It was also the pink-haired man that locked his office and was carrying the key around his neck like a prize. He's lucky I am tired.
''Your highness, you have luncheon with your brother and her highness today'', Lowe runs towards the Prince, his face is flustered and his eyes are sunken, he probably spent the night reviewing every single detail for today.
''Is Miss Petit being forced? Is she being dragged? Or controlled? Why would she accompany Alkaios otherwise?'' Nikias frowns, sitting down on the grass where the sun burns on his skin, the feeling of warmth is pleasant and it almost makes him want to sleep.
''Perhaps she's coming around to you'', Gutierre comments, making Nikias scoff again.
''Sure, and the sun is pink''.
''I heard she has a gift for you and his highness encouraged her to partake in your luncheon'', Lowe says.
''That makes more sense'', Nikias says leaning forward, resting his face on his knees. ''Will Lyor arrive for the luncheon?''
''Cypress' letter reported that his majesty will come in around two hours, so yes'', Lowe nods, taking a deep breath. ''You should get ready''.
''I'll just train for one more hour'', Nikias says, getting up as he stretches. ''Just make sure the garden's gazebo is ready for the luncheon, oh, and bring Petal as well, she will enjoy basking in the sun for a while''.
''As you wish, your highness'', Lowe bows, leaving.
For the next hour, Nikias runs laps around the training grounds, after his mana poisoning healed, he started feeling more energetic, able to run thrice the amount he was able to before, lift double the weight and even perceive things more sensitively, like smells and sounds. If he wasn't sure before if there was any difference in being a Saint besides mana, now he knows.
Then he retires to his quarters, showering and getting dressed, wearing simple clothing, and pulling his hair back on a high ponytail and the golden peach flower pin he got from his mother. I really need to cut my hair, is bothering me, he thinks as he stares at his reflection on the mirror, he doesn't necessarily look bad with long hair, in fact, he wouldn't be able to look ugly even if he let go of his appearance completely, however for someone that dislikes anything that increases his time getting ready, he really wants his short hair back.
''Should I shave it all off?'' he mumbles to himself.
''Please don't'', a voice draws his attention to the door of his room that was open without his knowledge. Standing there is Alkaios, he's wearing a white suit with a red tie and handkerchief, his pink eyes popping with the contrast. Contrary to Nikias, his hair is well groomed and always at the same exact length.
''It would be easier'', Nikias shrugs, walking towards Alkaios.
''My maids could always cut your hair as well'', the Crown Prince comments, but Nikias shakes his head.
''There's no need''. He wouldn't trust any servant of the Palace that isn't under him with a blade near his head. To be honest, he wouldn't even trust Dacre to cut his hair, and they've become quite close.
The two Princes walk across the Palace corridors side to side in silence, until they reach the Palace gardens.
''Please, behave brother, do not make unnecessary comments towards Lyor'', Nikias comments, fixing his shirt.
''I don't see why I need to be considerate towards him'', Alkaios comments with a frown, clearly annoyed by his brother's words.
''Because he's my fiance, and the person I love'', the word love makes Nikias mouth dry up. He is more important to me than you, he almost says, swallowing the words before it leaves his lips.
''I'll try'', Alkaios sighs.
The gazebo is tall and wide, it could probably fit twenty people easily, located at the heart of the Empress' garden, it's white and its columns decorated with carvings of flowers and leaves, each column representing a season. At the middle of the gazebo is a round table decorated with yellow roses, and a variety of fragrant fruits, near the gazebo is a line of servants on standby. Lowe is there, speaking to the servants, his hair is slightly messy due to the wind.
''Happy birthday, your highness'', Evangelia says, she's already sitting at the table, her long black hair is up in a complicated hairstyle and she's wearing mounting pants and shirt, the dirt on her boots making it clear she was mounting her horse just a few moments ago. Her appearance could be seen as disrespectful if she were of lower standing than the Second Prince, but considering her now title of Crown Princess, there was no such ill-intent. She merely was restless that morning.
''Miss Petit'', Nikias says, nodding towards the woman, he circles the table, analyzing every detail, making sure everything is perfect before Lyor arrives.
At the corner of his eye he sees Alkaios kissing Evangelia's forehead as he takes his seat next to her.
Just a few minutes later, Lyor finally arrives, he's wearing his usual clothes, a black buttoned up shirt, black pants, boots and a gray fur coat that reaches his knees, his hair is slicked back, what is unusual, and today both of his eyes are white, he looks agitated but only Nikias would notice such thing.
The moment their eyes meet, Lyor smiles, his eyes returning to the usual odd colors. ''Happy birthday, Nikias'', he says, his voice is a bit hoarse, but whatever it was that was making him agitated is now nowhere to be seen in his soft gaze. It's probably related to his next conquest, he mentioned that he was stressed due to the lack of intel he gathered on the enemy's army. Nikias thinks as he returns the smile. Lyor places a soft kiss on his lips, the soft touch lingers on his mouth for a while. ''I missed you'', the man continues as he gives a small box to the Prince. ''A gift, make sure to use it alongside your bracelet'', he says while brushing Nikias' wrist where the relic Lyor gave him months ago is.
Nikias opens the box, where two silver cufflinks are, one of them has a fox engraved while the other has a tiger, the man smiles, admiring the gift.
''I had them made a few months ago, they also have a protection magic circle inside them'', Lyor comments, caressing Nikias' cheek affectionately, placing a kiss on his cheek before walking to his seat.
''Thank you Lyor, I appreciate it''.
''Since you're opening gifts…'' Alkaios says, his face is one of pure distaste, if they were in front of more people he might've tried to hide his hatred towards Lyor. But the King doesn't even look at the Crown Prince, his gaze fixed on Nikias. Alkaios gives Nikias a small box, near the same size as Lyor's gift.
Inside the red velvet box is a bottle with a golden liquid inside.
''No'', Nikias whispers under his breath, his hands trembling as he realizes what the gift is. ''How did father authorize this?'' He asks, picking up the bottle, admiring how the liquid shines under the sunlight.
''I have my ways'', Alkaios shrugs, smiling victoriously, thinking his gift was better than the King's.
''The tears of the Sun god, I thought there was none left'', Evangelia comments, just as fascinated as the Second Prince.
''It was simply locked away in my father's vault'', Alkaios says.
''Thank you, brother'', Nikias says, genuinely grateful for the gift, due to the nature of the ink made with the Sun god's tears, it made sense that no other Emperor ever took it off the vault, since it won't work for anyone but the Sun god's Saint.
''Here'', Evangelia is next, shoving the medium sized box she was hiding under the table towards the Prince, her cheeks are slightly red, probably due to the embarrassment.
Carefully as if handling a sensitive bomb, Nikias opens the gift. There is a waist quiver, made with elven leather - leather curated from trees the elves spend years cultivating and crafting towards the most beautiful chestnut colored material -, and with decorations made with pure gold, including Nikias' name and the symbol of the Golden Phoenices. It's a carefully thought out gift, just as Lyor's, it's clear the woman took the time and money to make sure the gift fit the Second Prince's tastes and standards.
So much so that the man isn't even sure how to react to such a gift, why is she giving him something that appears to be directed towards someone she cares about? No one would spend this much time working towards a gift for someone they despise. Right? Nikias at least is sure he wouldn't, at the woman's last birthday all he gave her was a fountain pen set that Lowe bought.
''Why?'' He is unable to not ask.
The woman shrugs, ''A truce, I guess'', she answers, ''We'll soon be family, I don't see why I shouldn't also put in the effort'', her words aren't the full reason, Nikias can tell, behind her gaze, something more not being said. Perhaps this is her answer to his request for cooperation months ago.
Too bad for her, the offer is long gone off the table.
But if she does intend to show him goodwill going forward, then perhaps he could, one day, extend the same offer again.
''I see'', he responds simply, giving the gift to a servant to put away at his quarters, while Lyor and Alkaios' gifts he keeps in his pocket.
Lyor places his cold hand on Nikias' thigh as they begin lunch, the tension at the table is palpable, anyone walking around there would be able to feel it. They don't talk much, exchanging a few words while food is served, every single one of them can feel the distaste of each other.
Alkaios can't help but look at Lyor with anger and distrust, while Nikias has a blank expression but still feels uncomfortable in having lunch with his ''fake'' brother, Evangelia on the other hand is restless, probably thinking about the mountain of work she has waiting for her. She and Nikias are similar in that stance, if he wasn't forbidden to work, he would definitely be restless as well.
The only calm one is Lyor, he can feel the gaze of distrust and disgust towards him, but he doesn't seem to care, eating silently and occasionally brushing his legs and hand on Nikias, an attempt of comforting the man he's sure is feeling uncomfortable under his expressionless face.
''I heard you're preparing for another invasion'', Alkaios comments once dessert arrives, the dish is fragrant of peaches, Nikias turns to look at Lowe, who's speaking with the servants, he didn't say anything about the dishes served, but they were all his favorites, and now a peach pie? Did he ever tell the servant his favorites? Even if he did, wouldn't one assume the dishes the old Nikias liked would be the ones it should be served? It almost makes him feel touched. To be seen, for his own tastes.
''I don't like that word'', Lyor comments, his eyes are cold as he subtly cuts his pie in half, giving half of it to Nikias, who didn't notice he had already eaten more than half of his own. ''The conquests are a necessity for the safety of those living in our Continent''.
''Not because you wish to rise up the ladder?'' Alkaios provokes with a grin.
Evangelia flinches, she probably has more information about the Morke Kingdom than Alkaios due to her connection with an underground information guild run by the Northern Duke, but she doesn't say a word.
Lyor pauses, if none were feeling the pressure before, now they are, the air becomes heavier, and the servants are instructed to step back by Lowe, who's used to the heavy air around the King.
Even if Alkaios had felt before, from afar, that small pressure, the tingle in his stomach, telling him that Lyor is a man he cannot go against, he ignored it, sure that there was something wrong with his instincts. But there wasn't.
The air thickens, making the man choke slightly, turning his head to hide any sign of weakness, his hands trembling beneath the table. Evangelia takes the hand of her fiance, squeezing it, although her own hand is also trembling. Something that only happened when she witnessed the rise of Vremes all three times before.
Around Lyor, the aura, the tension, the thickness of the air and heaviness one might feel, they're all caused by his magnitude of mana, he was holding his mana back, as he always does near others, but he couldn't for just ten seconds. And that was enough time for the couple to understand just what kind of god they're dealing with.
That's impossible, no human can possess such power, Evangelia thinks once she's able to breathe properly again. Her eyes go to Nikias, flinching once again at the unaffected man, his eyes are on the empty plate in front of him, almost looking disappointed, having missed all of what just happened. Just who are you? The woman thinks, absolutely frightened.
''My goal is to end slavery, your highness'', Lyor says, pushing his plate towards Nikias, giving him the rest of his pie. ''Not that you'd know anything about it''.
Alkaios' face becomes red with embarrassment, but even with the pressure, the realization of just how utterly weak he is against the man, he still fights back, ignoring the voice inside him yelling at him against it. ''So you're saying you're their saviour? That you're doing this, just out the goodness of your heart?''
Just then, after finishing Lyor's pie, Nikias raises his head. ''Brother, be careful how you speak about the nation I am going to be ruling in the near future''. He takes a deep breath: ''And just moments ago I did ask you to be civil, brother''.
The other opens his mouth to speak, but stops. ''I'm sorry brother, I'll… leave this conversation to another time''.
''Never, hopefully'', Nikias comments, signaling to Lowe that he wishes to finish the luncheon already. ''Now,'' he gets up from his chair. ''If you'd excuse us, I wish to take Lyor to tour the Palace''.
With those words and the silence of both Alkaios and Evangelia, Nikias turns back, leaving the garden, followed by Lyor.
❥
''Happy birthday Nikki!'' Dacre yells, jumping forward, hugging Nikias tightly, his hug is filled with friendly affection, but the Prince doesn't return the hug, not ready yet to show such emotions publicly.
''Happy birthday, your highness'', the other Knights say, after they bow shortly at him.
They're at a local pub that Lowe managed to rent for the late night, the big table is already filled with both filled and empty cups and half-eaten snacks, showing that the Knights were there for a few hours already while Nikias and Lyor were having dinner with Nikias parents.
The dinner went as well as one might expect, Emperor Magnus made all kinds of uncomfortable questions, while the Empress cautiously watched them, at least Alkaios and Evangelia weren't there as they were summoned for work soon after the luncheon.
Lyor's hand on Nikias waist tightens as he pulls the man closer, whispering in his ear: ''Just try to relax a little, you're clearly tense after dinner, don't worry, everyone here likes you''. Those words sound obvious, but it does indeed help Nikias to relax a little.
''Thank you'', Nikias says with a soft smile, his heart pounding inside his chest due to the prickling in his ear left after Lyor whispered into it.
''That's not the time to be all touchy, let's drink'', Dacre, who's clearly already intoxicated yells, grabbing a beer glass and shoving it towards Nikias, who laughs and takes it, even if he prefers wine over beer. ''Open my gift!'' The pink-haired boy sounds excited. Grabbing a bag that was on Jiwon's lap.
''Damn, Dacre, slow down'', Irene says, laughing.
''He's like a puppy'', Scarlet comments, drinking her beer with a grin.
''Well, I am constantly told I'm a wild dog so why not?'' Dacre laughs, feeling calmer than usual, the boy seems happier, freer, lately.
Probably due to his relationship with Jiwon, Nikias thinks, glancing at the Knight who's clearly the only sober one there, his gaze is fixated on Dacre, oozing affection. Doing a whole mana pact towards someone you barely know is insane, Nikias thinks, turning to look at Lyor, who's gaze is on him, his eyes aren't as mellow or sweet as Jiwon's towards Dacre, but it doesn't need to be for him to feel the affection in them. Softly Lyor pushes a wild strand of Nikias' hair back, something he's been doing after the Prince complained about being bothered by the length of his hair. We've been doing this for a whole year. So many people entered my life, and the nightmares that used to be constant are now far in between… Am I allowed this? Or will I wake up one day back at that damp house, staring at my brother's dead body?
He opens Dacre's gift, just to immediately close it before anyone else can see inside it. His face turned a bright tone of red for the first time in front of all of his subordinates.
''What? What is it?'' Scarlet asks, leaning forward, almost jumping on the table, as if that would help her see the inside of the bag.
''You're absolutely insane'', Nikias whispers, not able to say anything else.
''C'mon, what did you give him, Dacre?'' Scarlet asks again.
''It's a secret between best friends'', Dacre says, grabbing Nikias arm, whispering in his ear: ''So you can get ready for your wedding night''.
Nikias looks at him absolutely disgusted: ''What makes you think I would be the one taking it?''
Dacre pauses, looking at Lyor then back at Nikias, shrugging. ''Well, you can prep him as well''.
The Prince blushes again. ''You're crazy'', he says again, holding the bag tightly so that no one can see what's inside.
''Open ours as well'', Irene says, sliding a box across the table. ''This one is mine and Miyuki's''.
So, the Prince opens all of the Knight's gifts. Aside from Dacre's, all of the other gifts were normal. Irene and Miyuki gave him a chair cushion that has a soothing magic circle engraved so he wouldn't feel back pain from sitting too long. Scarlet gave him mounting boots - not that Nikias ever intended in riding a horse. Gutierre wasn't there, as he previously informed, but his gift was given through Scarlet, and it was a fountain pen set with his name engraved. Lowe and Raphael also gave him a joint gift, a porcelain tea set with hand-painted images of symbols of Nikias life, his symbol as a Prince, the Golden Phoenices symbol, even Morke's symbols and the symbol of the Sun god.
''It's not that good because I painted myself…'', Raphael comments, a bit shy.
''It's precious'', Nikias says, simply, hiding how truly touched he is.
And the last gift he receives is from Jiwon, a gold hair stick with a peach blossom at the end. It's gorgeous.
''I won't have long hair forever'', Nikias comments.
''It's been months, your highness'', Jiwon comments simply with a light scoff.
Dacre nods. ''I can always cut your hair for you''.
Nikias shakes his head. ''Never''.
He's truly touched, even with the useless gifts, or the quite… raunchy one, he never felt like this, so… cared for. In this dark and alcohol-stinking pub, everyone there cares about him, just now it hits him, just what he had built until now.
Sure, some plans failed, and he is still walking towards imminent doom, however this, these relationships, this trust, the smiles, the hugs, even the sarcastic remarks.
For the first time since arriving here, no, for the first time in his life. He feels at ease.
Tears are almost forming in his eyes, but he can't bring himself to cry right now, so he smiles, asking for more drinks, so that he can enjoy this birthday moment, just a bit more.
❥
To my beloved Nikias,
How are you faring these last days? I've been thinking about you a lot, especially after those moments we spent together on your birthday. Remembering your sweet scent, your brilliant smile and lovely words, my days when I am around you always shine bright like the sun.
And being able to observe you in your regular surroundings was certainly a treat, the relationship you have with your ''brother'' and his fiance, even with the Emperor and Empress, it all only made me admire your strength even more. Your relationship with your Knights is also especially interesting, considering how you usually describe your relationship with them as strictly professional, however the way they talked to you and the respect in their gaze while you spoke was quite inspiring.
The longer we spend together, be it sharing letters or short moments like this, the more I believe you'll be a great Consort and an even greater husband. I am indeed the luckiest to have you in my life.
About what you requested of Cypress last week on the halflings program, he believes we'll need more time to be able to establish something this big, even if the culture of our Kingdom is one of welcoming any species, the money in the treasury is scarce.
And we'll be leaving for the conquest in two days, so please be patient.
I am a bit stressed over this next conquest as well, I've been telling the Knights that it will go well, but to be honest I ain't so sure. The Bitki Kingdom is a bit tricky, and although we've been preparing, Anwar is unsure if this time things will go as smoothly as we planned. If they truly are developing their naval power, we'll have a hard time tracking down the boats that have already left with the contraband slaves…
If we await any longer I cannot even fathom how many more will lose their freedoms.
Although I might not be able to send you as many letters as I'd like, please do not stop sending me updates about your days, as they're my warmth in the cold of the battlefield.
With care,
Lyor.
❥
To my beloved Nikias,
I'll be leaving in a few hours, before I go I must tell you about the relic we've heard information about: there are a few rumors about a coin from the goddess of Wealth in a black market at the Hai Empire. Of course our informants didn't manage to pinpoint the exact location, for now, it's just a rumor.
If you talk with Ginevra she'll be able to get in contact with the spies located at the Hai Empire.
Although their purpose there is more defensive than offensive, I hope they'll still be of help.
Anwar is urging me to rush, hope you have a lovely evening and please dream of me as I'll most certainly think of you in any asleep or awake moment.
With care,
Lyor.
❥
To Lyor,
Thank you for the information, I have repassed this to Gutierre and I'll let you know about any updates. They're also following another lead about a relic from the god of Wisdom, hopefully we'll manage to get to it before the Time Cult.
Other reports also have been spotting the cult around the borders of the Empire, but since they had no criminal conduct since the new year, we cannot even gather enough evidence to shut them down.
I've been contemplating joining hands with Evangelia again, however I still wish to give more time before I jump into an alliance with her. We will never trust each other, but we do need to at least be able to trust the information we gather, otherwise it'll be an alliance with an expiration date, but when it expires it explodes.
Lyor, I've been thinking… should I tell Alkaios about Nikias' death? How would doing so change our relationship? Surely telling him that I am not his brother would cause something happening, be it a fight or anything else.
Perhaps I should wait until we're married and I am safe.
This is killing me, nothing is more important than not putting myself in harm's way, but the guilt is eating me alive, the guilt of them walking around thanking me for being alive when the real Nikias is dead.
I can't even tell them their precious son and brother is well somewhere else, since I'm pretty sure he isn't.
Even so, do they actually deserve to have the truth? Nikias died due to their own neglect and actions. I am not to blame for this, if my soul didn't enter this body, he would just be an empty corpse.
May I request your humble opinion on this matter?
I tried to think what my brother would say, however Zerah never discussed morality with me, probably because there was none in our daily lives. All he ever made sure to say was that no matter what I should survive.
Would they kill me? Would they ban me from entering the Empire?
Of course I have ways of going there even if they ban me, but to cast me out they would need to reveal the truth to all, and I also cannot afford that.
At what cost should I reveal the truth for the sake of my conscience?
Should I even have one?
They're so kind that it kills me.
Saying that I'm their precious son, that they love me, that they want me well.
Lyor, I don't know how to live like this.
I am not Nikias Gregor Chrysl, yet I keep constantly forgetting.
One day I might forget my previous name, and sure, this is my life now, there's no point in getting attached to a name, the problem is that if I forget my name, what's the next step? Forgetting my brother?
No.
I cannot.
With a turbulent mind,
Sincerely yours,
Nikias.
❥
Lyor,
With a clearer mind, I apologize for my previous letter as I was deeply intoxicated while writing it. Although you have not sent me a letter in a month, I still would like to update you on my life.
Nothing much has happened, I had a few lessons with my teacher about finances and politics, quite interesting about government formats through the years and on the history of the Empire itself. Administrating finances and accounting books isn't very upon my expertise, however Fleuri is quite good at it, so I can probably get him to do it and just oversee it.
Fleuri has been acting weird lately, of course he hasn't told me why, but Dacre has his uses, in less than a week he managed to find out why. I don't quite know how to process the fact that Duke Burton, not only was at the Capital one day before the meeting with my ''brother'' - who had to travel all the way to the north for the meeting - and confessed to my aide whom he never met before. He was here for a secret meeting with Evangelia, that much I was already aware of, the fact that Alkaios didn't know was also something I knew, but I never imagined he would be interested in Fleuri.
Sure, Fleuri turned him down, which is obvious, Fleuri is unable of romantic relationships, he told me that himself, and I do believe him in that stance. But the reason behind such a confession bothers me.
It's illogical to think that someone might fall in love with someone they have never met before, much less interacted with.
Dacre is investigating, but it's been three months so I doubt he'll find anything.
On the topic of him, Dacre and Jiwon have been in a very stable relationship, which he never claimed to be a secret, but I do hope it doesn't leave these pages. He has been quite… detailed on their relationship, which has been causing me great distress.
Although such distress has been good to motivate me to train more, now I am able to hit targets more precisely and even was able to dodge some close combat with Clara's teachings, her and her husband are quite good teachers and not to mention good-natured people, and I do not use those words easily.
My business has also been going exceptionally well, we're sold out almost every week, and the money we've been able to amass will greatly help in my hopes to expand to other continents. Although we did have a small ruffle with other nearby businesses, Gutierre has been great as a manager, which is also good for him since his relationship with his son and daughter improved due to his more constant presence.
Cypress sent me a few reports last week on the treasury of the Kingdom, and I am surprised at how much you manage to spend while also being extremely frugal. Even with the money from the products you've been selling me, the money is scarce and all is being used towards feeding your people and the conquests.
How do you plan on improving things once the conquests end?
I've been thinking about it a lot, so please, share what your plans were, Lyor.
This is all that has been in my mind nowadays, please send news as soon as you can.
Sincerely yours,
Nikias.
❥
To Prince Nikias,
Your highness, this is Seoah, his majesty has been busy with the battles, yet he requested me to send word to you that he's well and healthy.
The battles are incessant and we're exhausted, so pardon the lack of decorum in this short letter.
His majesty sends his regards, and he would like you to know that he read your letters.
(he sleeps holding your picture, thought you'd like to know, although he sleeps for short moments in time, he always makes sure to look at you before he does so)
With care and respect,
Sincerely,
Seoah Draeger.
❥
To my dearest Lyor,
I am glad to hear you're doing well, thank you for sending a note of your well-being, even though through Miss Seoah's writing, her letter was a calming pill to my growing anxiety over your safety. Although I do not know how you fight or if you are keeping yourself out of harm's way, I am glad to know you're at least alive.
Please do not neglect letting me know about things such as these.
Sincerely yours,
Nikias.
❥
To my beloved Nikias,
Your letters are a delight to read, and I am overjoyed to know you've been good. Even with the worries and complaints.
The conquest went well and we'll be returning in two weeks, as we still need to finalize the merger of territory with the Kingdom, unfortunately the King committed suicide while we were raiding the Castle, his family remains alive though.
Anwar once again criticized my mercy, saying one day one of these children will try to avenge their parents or claim their throne back. However I never did anything worthy of revenge, at least I do not believe so. If they stopped trafficking people, then they would still have their Kingdom, I never intended to claim territories for the sake of it.
A few of our soldiers died while we were stopping their boats from leaving the shore, which was unfortunate, and their lives will forever be blood on my hands.
Dear, I'll answer your worries in a future letter as for now I must focus on returning and uplifting my grief stricken soldiers. We lost some good men and women.
With love,
Lyor.
❥
To my dearest Nikias,
I'm back at the Castle and am writing you this letter as Cypress nags me about expenses.
On your words about your friends, I am happy to hear you and Dacre have been becoming closer, although he annoys you, you still speak of him so fondly. His relationship with Jiwon is new to me, yet it makes sense considering what I witnessed last time at your birthday party. I find it admirable how your subordinates confide in you about the most strange of things.
It made me question my relationship with my own, since I am so close to Cypress and Anwar yet never knew of any relationship they ever had.
Having written that, I paused and questioned Cypress. I do believe I interrupted him in something important since he started nagging me about not listening to him while blushing head to toe. I'll question him about it another time again.
My plan is to be defined, my apologies my dear, I am not the best with politics, although I did have classes about it at the Temple.
I guess that's my fault, I will try to study more before ending the conquests so that I do not embarrass myself any longer.
And on your inquiry about telling the truth to your ''family'', dear, I do believe that doing so now could potentially put you in danger, if you still wish to do so, please do once you're safe here in the Kingdom. If I were to lose you…
I digress, you have nothing to feel guilty about, and I hope you know that, even if it's hard, I do believe you're strong enough to hold on.
Any fears you might be experiencing, please do not hesitate to share with me, as I do wish to quell anything that afflicts you as you do with me.
Dear, please, stay well and alive.
I miss you.
With love,
Lyor.
❥
Dearest Lyor,
I miss you too.
Sincerely yours,
Nikias.
❥
Dearest Lyor,
My apologies for the short letter, I was tired from training yet wished to convey those words to you.
Alkaios and Evangelia's marriage is in less than a month, everyone is tense and the preparations are in full, I do not know why I am so anxious about such a thing when I have nothing to do with them. Perhaps because I know everything that'll happen at that wedding…
I was having a meeting with Lowe a few hours ago and he told me about his own worries, and just then it has struck me that he as well has someone to whom he cares deeply about. Lowe, Dacre… who's next? Everyone's life is moving in different paths to what I have seen, how much more will everything change?
Although it was what I was aiming for.
It still scares me.
In these moments I miss your cold touch the most, making my head clearer, making me feel safe and cared for…
This relationship which we began out of my own selfishness, has come to be my safe haven.
Lyor, thank you.
For everything, the help, the care, the kisses, the beautiful words.
You're… the only one that ever managed to make me feel emotional besides my late brother.
I hope to see you at the wedding.
Sincerely yours,
Nikias.