I wouldn't be any help. What were they asking me for? They should be asking Shigure. What did I know? What could I do or help with? They were asking the wrong person.
We had already tried. I couldn't teach. I couldn't pass on any relevant information to them. I wasn't as good or useful as what they thought. They thought I hadn't been trying and that I had just been making things difficult for them because I didn't trust them. I had but I hadn't at the same time.
I had genuinely wanted to teach and help pass on the wisdom and experience I had learnt. Unfortunately, I wasn't much good at it. I barely had a grasp on any of my own special abilities. How could I help anyone else if I didn't understand these things myself?
I was down with the fever for a week. Suzuki Sensei and his friends had ended up conducting a medical consult for me over the phone and they had ended up giving me two injections. During that time, I had delirium a few times and had needed to be restrained once because I had gotten violent defending myself from my nightmares. I was pretty sure that they got a much deeper understanding of me and realised that they were really dealing with a tired and broken, traumatised person.
"This is nothing," I puffed and smiled at Suzuki Sensei one morning after a long and difficult night. The fever had finally broken but was taking its time going back down. "You should have seen me in the prisoner of war hall or when I first arrived in the country. You guys have got it easy. I was nearly dying every few minutes. Just the wrong word or tone could trigger me. Come to think of it, I wonder what happened to Doc? We were going to get married when the war was over, you know. Shigure talked us out of it otherwise we would have talked each other into killing ourselves together. He couldn't leave us alone at that time. We really wanted to die."
"What happened then?" Suzuki Sensei changed the warm cloth on my forehead for a cooler one.
"Oh. Tiger Eye found us and wanted to break Red Eye out, but he was too late. Snake Eye found us and then it was the beginning of the end. Snake Eye could hypnotise and compel people with just a look or his voice. We only broke free of his control because one day, he allowed me to wake up and I realised my abilities had recovered just enough to realise what was going on. Breaking free of his control is what killed Tiger Eye. Red Eye and I weren't much better off, but it was enough for Red Eye to use our combined powers to kill Snake Eye."
"I thought Tiger Eye didn't have any mental abilities," Suzuki Sensei said.
"He didn't," I shrugged, "but having two very powerful mental ability users as your best friends does more than you think. It enabled him to learn a small amount of mental manipulation and how to deal with mental powers, but he wasn't what we could call a real mental ability user. He relied on aids a lot and so lacked the defences a real mental ability user should have. Some abilities can rub off on those around them," I said. "Especially some mental and sensing abilities. Hang around people with strong gifts long enough and it slowly starts to open you up to awakening that power too. Of course, you have to have some sort of affinity to that talent as well, otherwise nothing will work no matter what you do. It's how I awoke my mental abilities after all. Shigure looked into my memories and that enabled me to awaken mental abilities."
"That's amazing," Suzuki Sensei exclaimed. "So do you think it's possible for me to awaken other abilities too?"
"Aren't you already a multi-ability user yourself?" I puffed a small laugh at Suzuki Sensei. "You already have your sensor suite. What else do you need?"
"Mental abilities. Telepathy. I'd love to be able to send messages to my teammates and to be able to do something about some of the things I can sense," Suzuki Sensei told me with gleaming eyes. "I feel so frustrated sometimes being able to sense things but have to rely on other people to do the action, while I am pushed to the back lines to be protected."
"It's not all it's made out to be," I shook my head at him. "Life becomes very complicated."
"Is there a way? Can you help me awaken this ability?"
I thought about it.
"Your sensor suite already leans in that direction," I puffed. "Asking me to open an ability is like asking me to take an axe to perform brain surgery. No way I can do it. My presence can only increase the chances of awakening abilities or enhancing them. I can't actually do it."
"We have records that say otherwise," Suzuki Sensei said. "The records are incomplete, but one of our men managed to send us this information before it was interrupted. We are just hoping there are other ways to get what we want without violating you."
My eyes grew round, vision grew faint and my heart stopped for a moment. Literally.
A jolting of electricity and then I was back, glaring at Suzuki Sensei. He was lucky Shigure had currently shielded himself within such a thick barrier that he didn't notice. Otherwise he'd have Shigure yelling through the phone at him again.
When things calmed down, I glared at Suzuki Sensei some more.
"I'd rather die than let myself be violated and used in that way again. Believe me, if I want to die, it'd be easy."
"I believe it," Suzuki Sensei said in a weary tone, wiping the sweat from his face while his friends put the defibrillator and other medications away. "It wasn't easy to bring you back just now. I thought I'd really gone and killed you this time. I'm sorry. But that's the reality of what we're dealing with. I've tried to be as gentle as possible. I suppose it still wasn't gentle enough."
"Nothing about any of this type of thing can be considered gentle," I scowled. "If you really want to awaken special abilities and enhance them, it isn't like there aren't other ways," I said, making Suzuki Sensei's friend perk up. "The most obvious one is training. Various types of training. Obviously, intensive training only gets you so far. Training in battle through life and death situations appears to still be the best way, but it's very risky."
"We are not afraid of risks," blurted the man behind Suzuki Sensei. I still hadn't learnt his name but he had bushy brows. "Just that there is no way forward."
"We already know this method," Suzuki Sensei waved a hand.
"We do?" asked Bushy Brows.
"Yes. Otherwise why would you have been sent out to face fires all these years?" Suzuki Sensei sniffed.
"Oh," said Bushy Brows.
"But we are looking for less risky methods if there are any," Suzuki Sensei said, looking at me with an intense gaze.
"The best and easiest method is one most of your people seem to reject," I sighed. "The safest and easiest way is to ask the Creator Father yourself."
Eyebrows all came down into frowns and lips either pursed or pressed into thin lines.
"See. None of you like the idea," I pointed out with a trembling finger.
"All special abilities were born from the Creator Father. As far as I know, the special abilities were originally gifts given to men to help them survive and do good works, however they have often been turned into something less. People use them for the wrong reasons. If I ask the Creator Father and He gives you these special abilities you are asking for, you need to be willing to believe in Him and to thank Him. If you misuse the abilities, I will ask Him to take them back. The special abilities are meant to help the poor, the needy, the oppressed and to uphold justice. They are meant to be tools to spread compassion and mercy. And," I added, "the reasons you think may be upright, may not be upright according to His standards. You have to realise that by receiving special abilities bestowed by Him, you will have to live by His standards."
"This is stupid," scoffed the woman with bangs who helped me with most of my personal care. "You might as well not have answered the question at all."
"Wait," Suzuki Sensei held up a hand. "Let Nodoka-san keep talking."
"Experts and highly experienced people with mental abilities and other related abilities can also potentially combine their abilities if they work together to perform the delicate operations needed to awaken a new ability but it is extremely risky. One wrong move and you can kill the person undergoing the surgery, maim them or destroy their original special ability. I don't recommend it. Chances of success are about as high as a real medical operation to awaken a new special ability," I said. "It can also cause a backlash on those performing the operation. I wouldn't risk it unless you had that great a surplus of special ability users."
Shigure was the only one I had ever seen to have successfully done so, in helping people awaken a measure of mental abilities. But even then, he had needed Homeward and/or my support. It was so much easier and safer to rely on the Creator Father for this type of thing.
"I'd rather not have anything to do with spirits, demons or gods," the woman wrinkled her nose.
"I'd rather try anything other than hurting Nodoka-san," Suzuki Sensei retorted.
"Fine, but don't ask me to be the guinea pig for this one," the woman turned her head away.
"Nor me," Bushy Brows raised his hands in refusal. "I'll try any of the other options."
"Very well then," Suzuki Sensei took a deep breath. "Nodoka-san, teach me how to meet your god and become his follower."