Aiden's place was small but clean.
It was a one-bedroom apartment on the second floor of a quiet building. The living room had a couch, a coffee table, and a TV.
There were no pictures on the walls. It felt empty. Like he hadn't fully moved in even though he had been living there for a while.
"You can sleep on the couch," he said. " have extra blankets."
I nodded. "Thanks."
He walked toward the bathroom. "I'm going to change. Make yourself comfortable."
He closed the door. I heard the water run.
I sat on the couch. It was soft. I looked around the room again. There was a book on the coffee table. I picked it up. It was a collection of poems. Some pages were folded down. He had marked the ones he liked.
I smiled a little.
The bathroom door opened.
He walked out.
His hair was still wet, dripping a little. He had changed into a black shirt. But the shirt was loose and the top two buttons were undone.
I could see his collarbone. The edge of his chest. His skin looked warm.
I forgot how to breathe.
He stopped when he saw me looking. He didn't say anything. He just looked at me.
"Sorry," I said, looking away. "I was just..."
"It's fine."
He walked to the kitchen and grabbed a glass of water. I watched him from the corner of my eye. His movements were calm.
Slow. Like he was used to being in this space alone.
He sat down on the other end of the couch.
We were quiet for a moment.
"You know," I said, "you don't have to sit all the way over there."
He looked at me. "Where should I sit?"
I didn't answer. I just looked at him.
He moved closer. Not a lot. But enough.
We sat there in silence. The space between us was small. I could feel the warmth coming
off him. I could smell his shampoo.
Something clean and fresh.
"This is nice," I said.
"Yeah."
"The quiet. I like it."
He nodded.
I looked at him. His face was close. His green eyes were soft in the dim light.
"Your place is nice," I said.
"It's not much."
"It's enough."
He looked at me. His gaze lingered.
Then he moved.
He leaned in and kissed me. I didn't see it coming. His lips were on mine before I could think. His hand went to the back of my neck, pulling me closer.
I kissed him back. I didn't mean to. But I did.
His other hand went to my waist. He pulled me onto his lap. I could feel his chest against mine His heart was beating fast.
He kissed me harder. Deeper. His tongue touched mine. I moaned against his mouth.
His hand moved up. Under my shirt. His fingers traced my skin. Slowly. Gently. Up my stomach. Up my ribs. To my chest.
He cupped my breast. Squeezed gently. I gasped.
"You like that?" he whispered against my lips.
I didn't answer. I just kissed him again.
He pressed me down onto the couch. His body was on top of mine. His hand moved inside my bra. I felt his fingers against my skin. He was warm. He was everywhere.
He kissed my neck. My collarbone. My chest.
Then he pulled my shirt up. He looked at me.
"Can I?"
I nodded.
He unclasped my bra. Slid it off.
My chest was bare.
He stared for a moment. "You're so beautiful."
He leaned down. His mouth found my nipple.
He licked it slowly. I shivered. Then he took it into his mouth. He sucked. Gently at first.
Then harder.
"Oh god," I whispered.
He switched to the other side. His hand cupped my other breast, squeezing and massaging. His tongue circled my nipple. He sucked again. I arched into him.
"Aiden..."
He pulled back. "You like that?"
"Aiden."
That's all I could say.
He smiled. Then he kissed down my stomach. He pulled my jeans open. He kissed just above my underwear. I held my breath.
He looked up at me. "Do you want me to stop?"
I didn't answer.
He took it as permission.
He pulled my jeans off. My underwear followed. I was bare.
He kissed my thigh. Then the inside of my thigh. Then lower.
I closed my eyes. My heart was racing.
He kissed me there. Soft. Gentle. I gasped.
His tongue touched me. I cried out.
He kept going. His hands held my thighs open. His mouth worked on me. I moaned.
Louder. Louder.
"I'm going to..."
He didn't stop.
I cried out. My body shook. He held me through it.
After, he came up and kissed me. I tasted myself on his lips.
"Was that okay?" he asked.
"Aiden."
I hated myself for moaning his name out.
His fingers grazed my skin. Lower. Lower.
I froze.
He reached for his jeans. I stopped his hand.
"Wait."
He looked at me.
He stopped. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just..."
I couldn't finish the sentence.
He looked at me. His eyes searched mine. He knew something had changed.
"It's okay," he said. "We don't have to."
He moved off me. He sat on the edge of the couch. I sat up. We were both quiet.
"I'm sorry," I said.
"Don't be."
"I don't know what I'm doing."
He was quiet for a moment. Then he said, "That makes two of us."
I looked at him. His face was calm. But his eyes were sad.
"Can we just sleep?" I asked.
"Yeah."
He went to the closet and pulled out a blanket. He handed it to me. I lay on the couch. He lay on the floor with a pillow.
We didn't say anything else.
But I lay there awake for a long time, thinking about Cade's smile and wondering why I couldn't stop smiling when I thought about him.