Ciel picked up the book, but he did not open it immediately. Instead, he sat down on the bed that had once belonged to the late Michelle. It was an old, hard bed. The kind that seemed capable of giving an old man like Michelle chronic back pain.
He simply sat there at the edge of the bed, staring at the thick, aged volume as though it were a doorway leading to something he could not comprehend.
The smell of old wood and dust filled the room. Outside, the night wind brushed softly against the window, producing a faint sound like whispers accompanying the silence. Rain began to fall, its gentle patter blending into the night. The book looked ordinary. There were only a few strange symbols on its cover. No ominous aura. Just an old diary. Yet Ciel's hands trembled.
Michelle's sudden death only intensified the feeling. What exactly had happened after that incident? The question echoed endlessly in his mind. Perhaps the answer was hidden within this diary. Perhaps not. Even though his memories of Michelle came only from the body he now inhabited, a sudden death would always leave behind a sense of unease.
At last, Ciel took a deep breath and opened the first page after gathering his courage.
Handwriting filled the page. It was slightly messy, yet clearly written with an effort to remain neat.
"I don't know who will read this one day." The first sentence seemed to stare directly at him. "But if you've managed to open this book, then my life has probably not gone the way I hoped it would. Whether I'm still alive or not... well, if I'm dead, I hope I went out in a cool way. If not, don't laugh. Actually, it'd be better if nobody ever read this!"
Ciel stopped.
A chill ran through his entire body. The emotions contained in those words felt completely different from the Michelle he remembered. They were livelier. The burning enthusiasm of youth was still evident in the way the words were written.
Ciel's lips moved slightly without making a sound. If only he had spent more time with Michelle, perhaps he would have felt genuine regret and sorrow. But now, all he felt was sympathy for Ciel.
"Grandpa..."
He continued reading.
"I left my hometown in Suri Village," Michelle wrote. "I was foolish and stubborn. The people back in the village said the big city was harsh, but I came to Liyeh anyway. Life in the village wasn't bad, but it was too boring, you know? I needed something challenging. Just imagine all the opportunities waiting in a big city!"
"I never really had any grand plans. I was just trying to live."
Ciel couldn't help but smile as he read those words, but he continued.
"At first, I wanted to open a bookstore," the writing continued. "I thought... wouldn't that be wonderful? A small room lined with wooden shelves, the scent of paper everywhere, and people coming in to search for stories that could help them forget the world for a little while. But reality doesn't enjoy jokes. I didn't have enough money. I struggled to get a loan from the bank. They said my business was too risky and worried I wouldn't be able to repay the debt on time. All I could do was laugh and say, 'Alright.' But honestly... it hurt a lot back then."
Ciel swallowed. He had already discovered that his grandfather had been a brave man, but now he found himself developing genuine respect for Michelle. A trace of emotion from Ciel's memories reached his heart.
Ciel gently brushed the page and turned it.
"...At some point in life, a person has to choose," Michelle wrote on the next page. "And I chose a path that even now I'm not sure was the right one. The Kingdom offered me a position. They said, 'We need someone like you.' Sounds impressive, doesn't it? But I just laughed. The signs of war had already begun to appear. As someone who had 'Awakened,' I was given an offer. It seemed the Kingdom wanted to participate."
The tone of the writing changed slightly. Not only was the handwriting more organized, but the emotions behind the words felt deeper and more mature.
"You might think that's impressive. But no, I simply happened to be in the right place at the wrong time..."
Ciel tightened his grip on the cover. What came next almost made the corners of his lips rise.
"This is a little embarrassing," Michelle wrote. "My first date. Don't expect some beautiful romantic story. I sat down. She sat down. I talked. She wasn't interested. I laughed. She didn't. The food went cold before we finished eating. It was awkward as hell! I went home wondering why life always seemed to have such a terrible sense of humor."
Although Michelle never elaborated on the offer the Kingdom had made him, too many pages were missing, creating a massive gap in information. And what exactly did he mean when he said he had 'awakened'? Was this world more than just an alternate version of his own?
The next page felt different. Softer. It came long after several faded, dusty pages.
"Then I met that girl," Michelle wrote. "I won't write her name. If this book falls into the wrong hands... well, I'd still like to keep that part just for myself. But if you're family... you'll know exactly who she is."
The writing became slower and more careful.
"She didn't make my world stop. There were no golden lights or beautiful music. She simply... made the world a little easier to live in. Her voice was calming. Her laughter made the days feel shorter. And somehow, I felt like I could breathe when I was with her. She was an innocent and kind-hearted girl."
Ciel closed his eyes briefly. He had never seen this side of Michelle through Ciel's memories. It felt as though the emotions of this body were becoming stronger the more he read.
The next page was barely legible. More of the writing had faded than remained.
"The day she accepted my proposal," the writing continued, "was the most ridiculous and happiest day of my life. My hands were shaking, and I stumbled over my words. But she laughed. She held my hand and smiled. She stayed with me from the days when I was an ordinary soldier to where I am now, a military commander. And I thought... if the world ever falls apart one day, at least I was happy once."
Ciel drew a trembling breath amid the storm of emotions within him. In silence, he thought, So he really was a soldier...
The handwriting changed again, as though written by trembling hands.
"She's pregnant," Michelle wrote. "And for the first time in my life... I'm truly afraid. Not afraid of death. Not afraid of war. I'm afraid that I won't be someone worthy of them. Just kidding. I'm also afraid of dying and never getting to see my wife and child."
Ciel could feel that fear. Not the fear of facing enemies, but the fear of a husband and a father.
"I don't know how to divide my time," the writing continued. "The world keeps calling me away. My family keeps calling me home. I don't know who's right, so all I can do is keep going."
The next few pages contained little of interest and offered very little information. As a result, Ciel eventually reached pages much farther ahead.
"She was born," Michelle wrote. "That little girl cried so loudly I thought the world was crying with her. Her hands were tiny. But somehow, when she wrapped her fingers around mine... I felt like I was the one holding on to life. I cried for a long time. The midwives eventually asked me to hand the baby over so her mother could see her."
Ciel stopped once more. He tried to calm his emotions. Reading the diary made him strangely happy. Beside the page was a photograph. It showed a woman holding a chubby, adorable baby while a young man stood beside them, smiling brightly. It was the image of a happy family, reminding him of his own family back in London. He studied the photograph for several moments, examining both the front and the back, hoping to find something interesting.
He continued. The next page was almost impossible to read. Even so, Ciel tried his best, but the writing remained illegible. Eventually, he moved much farther ahead. Michelle's writing had changed once again. It was neater. Heavier. As though he had begun standing atop something far greater than before.
"I never wanted a high position," he wrote. "But life dragged me there. Now I stand close to the people who govern the kingdom, the people who decide the direction of countless lives. They gave me a title. They gave me responsibilities I couldn't refuse."
Ciel felt that perhaps the reason Michelle had never told his family about his work was to prevent them from being dragged into whatever he was involved in. Working alongside powerful figures likely made Michelle cautious and constantly alert.
"I'm starting to feel like this world isn't as simple as it appears," he wrote. "The higher I climb, the more things there are that cannot be spoken aloud. The more things that are discussed only in hushed voices, behind closed doors, while everyone watches one another."
A chill ran down Ciel's spine.
He didn't know why.
"People look at me differently. I look at myself differently. And in the middle of all of this, as my senses continue to sharpen... I've started to grow suspicious."
The next sentence had been written hastily, as though Michelle had been anxious while writing it. Yet Ciel felt the same identity crisis reflected in those words, one eerily similar to his own. What could have driven Michelle into such turmoil?
"I want to quit," the writing trembled. "I want to go home. I want to laugh with my family again. I want to live like an ordinary old man and be a cool grandfather. But the harder I try to walk away... the deeper I become involved."
Ciel gripped the book tightly. His grandfather seemed exhausted. Truly exhausted. Yet the final entry was even more troubling. It had been written only a day before Michelle died.
"13 December 1407. I can't hold this in any longer. Things have developed in a direction that I can no longer handle. At this point, I've recorded those events, but they must never fall into their hands. I entrust everything to "Them," who are far beyond what anyone can imagine. The Kingdom has gone too far, and that is not a good thing."
What?
Were the missing pages deliberately torn out?
And how had he written this final diary entry if he never returned home that night?
What did he mean when he said the Kingdom had gone too far?
And who exactly were these "higher beings"?
Ciel's mind desperately searched for answers. Too many thoughts flooded his head at once.
Then he realized something and began looking around the room.
The door.
The windows.
The wardrobe.
The floor.
Even behind him.
Paranoia seized him.
Because perhaps... he had just read something.
Something that had gotten Michelle killed.