I threw myself into work because when I wasn't rehearsing or focused on school, I couldn't get Valin's face out of my head... his voice, his lips.
My feelings for him had completely eclipsed my crush on his brother, but… how do I even say that?
He made me promise I was serious about Zai.
If I backtrack now, he'll think I was lying again.
Which, I guess... I was.
I just panicked when Valin asked and blurted out a yes.
What's wrong with me?
How long do I have to wait before it makes sense to say I changed my mind?
"I'm so proud of how hard you've been working lately," my manager chirped. "Your dance instructor, vocal coach, and even the producer are all singing your praises. You're going to be a star in no time! Oh, and you already have a fansite! I'll send a link to you later today."
I barely heard her.
My eyes were locked on my phone, waiting for Valin to text back.
My fingers tingled with anticipation.
When his name popped up, I immediately shushed my manager to read it.
"What are you up to?"
His message is simple and casual.
I tried to respond with the same energy.
"Just finished recording. Want to hang out?"
Two minutes later, he replied, and I must've annoyed my manager enough because she finally gave up talking and walked away.
"Meet me at the library."
The library? Really?
"Yeah, I'll be there soon!" I replied.
It was only seven minutes away, but I didn't have a car.
I had to take the bus and got there about thirty minutes later.
As soon as I stepped inside, I spotted Valin reading at a table, and my heart fluttered.
That is, until I noticed the girl sitting next to him.
A blonde girl with a high ponytail, hazel eyes, and cat-eye glasses.
She was grinning way too wide, leaning way too close, her whole body language screaming "I'm into you."
Valin was staring down at a thick book, totally calm, but something in me snapped.
I walked up, my blood boiling, and said in the coldest tone I could muster,
"You're in my seat b*tch."
The girl blinked, then frowned, but stood up without protest.
I slid into the chair she left behind.
"That wasn't nice," Valin noted, casually turning a page.
It was a botany textbook.
"I don't know what came over me," I muttered, voice softening again.
He chuckled.
"I do. You got jealous," he remarked.
I gasped. "No, I didn't!" I exclaimed defensively.
He frowned slightly, so I quickly amended my claim, "…Okay. Maybe I was a little jealous."
His expression shifted into a playful smirk.
Then, without much warning, he leaned in and gently kissed me.
"It's been a while," he murmured, lips brushing mine. "I'm happy to see you."
I clamped my jaw shut, accidentally biting my tongue and yelping in pain.
He blinked and stared at me with a mixture of surprise and concern.
"You okay?" Valin asked.
I parted my lips to answer, but then he kissed me again, softly and reassuringly.
My heart thudded wildly.
This... this felt like a date.
I thought "library" would be boring, but now I was over the moon.
"I'm happy to see you too," I whispered breathlessly before kissing him back.
After a while, he got up and brought the book to the checkout counter.
The girl, Jess, was working there.
She gave me the nastiest look, which I returned tenfold, sticking out my tongue while Valin wasn't looking.
"Bye, Jess. See you next time," he said with a smile.
She giggled like an infatuated child.
"Oh yeah… see you soon, Valin."
What the hell was funny about that?
Once we were outside, I burst,
"You know her?!"
He sighed, sliding the book into his backpack.
"Yeah. I come to the library a couple of times a week," he answered flatly.
That didn't make me feel any better.
"She totally wants you, you know," I pointed out.
Valin turned to me, eyes sharp and intense.
"What about you?" he asked.
He approached me, and the weight of his presence made me instinctively back up until I hit the wall.
We were just a few feet from the entrance.
"I don't think how she feels is relevant right now," he said in a low voice.
I swallowed hard.
"I... I want your brother," I blurted nervously.
His eyes narrowed.
I turned my gaze away, squeezing my eyes shut.
Then I felt him move away.
"Whatever," Valin muttered coldly.
No. No, no, no. I was losing him.
I grabbed his sleeve, then pressed my hand over my face and forced myself to tell the truth.
"I… I want you, Valin," I squeaked.
He paused.
There was a long pause, and when I slowly peeked up, he was smiling.
"Clearly. Was that so hard to admit?" Valin teased.
I nodded quickly, my face burning.
It was incredibly difficult; I thought my heart would explode and I'd die from anxiety.
He laughed gently and kissed me again, slowly and deeply.
With each kiss, my knees grew weaker. He hugged my waist to support me, and as time passed, I was pulled deeper, making me forget about everything else.
"Where should we go next?" he asked once our lips parted.
"My apartment. There's this movie I wanted to stream with you."
It was true... but also, I wanted him to myself. Somewhere private.
"I hope it's a documentary," he teased. "And something long."
After he said this, the rom-com I had in mind was changed into a super drawn-out documentary about factory egg sorting.
It didn't matter what we watched because I had an ulterior motive: wanting more alone time with him, and maybe expressing myself in a more private environment.
We sat together on the couch, his arm draped over my shoulder.
About ten minutes in, I started kissing his neck.
When he turned toward me, I took off my shirt, hoping I wouldn't need to say much more.
His eyes dropped instantly to my breasts… and stayed there for a while before he gave me a thumbs-up.
"What does that mean?" I asked, puzzled.
"They look nice..." he mumbled. I was about to tell him off, but then he removed his jacket and shirt, and I was stunned into silence.
He pinned me to the couch by my wrists, kissing, sucking, and nibbling on my neck.
"Ahh! Mmngh… W-wait! You… can't leave marks," I protested, breathless.
He laughed softly.
"Oh… is that where we're drawing the line?"
I pouted, too flustered to answer.
"Is it… Your first time?" he asked.
"N-no," I admitted, feeling slightly ashamed.
"Good. It's better if your first time's with someone who cares about you..." Valin murmured.
I stroked his crotch lightly with my leg and looked him straight in the eye.
"You care about me," I corrected.
His gaze softened, his eyelids narrowing.
"That's true... I do..."
Valin started by removing my panties, pushing up my skirt, and licking around my clit.
It was so intense, I tried to pull away, but he held my thighs in place and warned that if I moved, he'd stop and we wouldn't go any further.
I had no choice but to cover my mouth with both hands and do my best to stay still, panting and sweating from the effort.
After making me climax, he hugged my legs together and moved his hips between them, still rubbing against my sensitive spot, stimulating me further before finally entering me.
I moaned out his name a few times.
My mind was spinning, and I couldn't think of anything else to say. I watched him put on a condom.
Thank goodness, I'd been too caught up to think about it.
"Don't worry… I won't leave any marks. And I won't hurt you," he promised, just before we picked up where we left off.
There were a few things I experienced for the first time that night: oral, attentive foreplay, and three new positions...
We had our way with each other on the couch, long past the end of the show. I'll never think of eggs the same way again.
He carried me to bed.
He disappeared into my bathroom and returned a moment later with a warm cloth, gently wiping me clean.
I stared at him but still had no strength to get up on my own, so he helped me into my pajamas and kissed my forehead.
After tucking me in, Valin turned to leave.
Instinctively, I grabbed his wrist. "Don't go..." I begged.
I wasn't sure if he heard me, because I drifted off not long after.
I jolted awake later, afraid it had all been a dream, and looked around frantically.
Valin was still there, sitting in the corner of my room, reading his book and drinking tea from my favorite mug. I sighed with relief.
"Oh, you're up… You only slept two hours," he said, setting the mug on my bedside table.
He sat beside me and kissed my cheek.
"What's got you up so early?" he added.
"I was worried… you'd be gone," I confessed, clinging to his shirt.
My honesty made him chuckle, and then he climbed into bed with me for a fourth round.
I couldn't sleep after that.
Even at work, I was wide-eyed and exhausted, but I couldn't stop thinking about what we'd done.
Those memories were giving me way too much energy.
This means we're dating now, right?
He did say he couldn't date someone interested in his brother… but maybe he changed his mind?
I know I initially just wanted more of his attention, but seeing him with another girl had upset me.
I thought sleeping with him would make him cling to me.
At most, I thought it would take fifteen minutes to make him mine.
But now… it feels like my plan backfired.
I'm the one who's stuck on him. My thoughts are worse than before. I don't even know if this changed his opinion of me.
And the lack of sleep is starting to interfere with my work.
After recording, I escaped my manager and went to the dance room to rehearse for my concert.
That's when Valin appeared in the doorway, carrying a laptop and smiling at me.
He didn't even have to say anything; his presence was enough to throw me off balance.
I lost my concentration and fell on my face. I could hear him laughing as he helped me up and checked me over for injuries.
"Be more careful," he scolded, but even his reprimands aroused me.
Everything about him oozes sex right now...
It's hard being near him.
"I'm sorry… I was just so happy to see you; it ruined my coordination," I admitted.
He cupped my cheeks and kissed me gently… then came back for a deeper, steamier kiss.
"Why are you apologizing for that?" he asked, playfully.
"Um?!" I tried to think of a reply, but Valin devoured my thoughts, kissing me over and over.
"W-wait… we're in the studio," I warned.
He had never tried anything here before, but after yesterday, I was afraid he might take things too far.
"Mmm… I've been thinking, from now on we need a code word," he murmured, biting his lip as he pulled back.
"A code word for what?"
"For when you want to have sex," he explained.
My heart started racing so fast I could hear it in my ears.
"Since you're too shy to admit it outright, I have an idea..." he said, running his hand up my thigh and resting it just below my crotch. "How about popcorn? If you want me, right now, for example, say 'popcorn.' If not, say 'no popcorn.' Does that work for you?"
I nodded quickly, tensing at his touch.
"So… what do you want?" he asked.
In the practice room?! He was really putting me on the spot.
"…Popcorn," I whispered.
At that, he got up, locked the door, turned off the lights, and returned to me. I shyly removed my leggings.
What am I doing...?
Valin sat down on the floor and pulled me into his lap, holding my hips as he thrust up into me.
The room was soundproof, so I let my voice out freely.
Earlier, I'd been too tired to focus on work, yet here I was, doing this when I should be training.
After just one climax, I was a trembling mess, and Valin hugged my waist to keep me close.
"…I brought you that energy drink you like... strawberry flavor," he said.
Is he trying to rehydrate me so we can go again?!
That will make it six times within 24 hours!
"Drink it, then show me what you're working on," he said instead, helping me regain focus.
I unsteadily got to my feet and shuffled into the corner, trying to hide my face. I've already done more with him in a day than I did with my last boyfriend in a month.
It doesn't feel real… I just wanted a little more of his attention, but damn.
I went to the locker room to wash off. When I came back, he was sitting in the dark, working on his laptop. I pulled my leggings back on and turned on the lights, making him squint.
"Warn me before doing that next time."
"Sorry," I said sheepishly.
He looked me up and down and smiled.
"I forgive you."
His tone made my knees wobble, but I was determined to show him my work. I chugged down the drink he brought for me and waited for some of my energy to return.
After that, I played my demo from my phone and danced, singing live as best I could.
Valin watched with deep concentration.
It was unnerving.
"Come here. I'll give you a massage. It'll help restore your energy," he offered.
I worried he might use it as an excuse to start again, but he kept his word, massaging me gently until I felt limber and relaxed.
After that, I danced again, and he gave mostly compliments, with a few thoughtful criticisms. I adjusted right away.
After my eighth performance, he finally said,
"You're amazing, Dite."
That praise hit me hard. My legs got weak, and I had to sit, trying to hide it.
"Does that mean I finally didn't make any mistakes? Are you… proud of me right now?" I asked, finishing off my drink.
He kept a calm exterior as he replied, "Yeah..."
Then he came and sat beside me, his eyes silently begging for another kiss, and I gave it without hesitation.
"By the way," he said, "I glanced at your schedule. Looks like you're going to be busy for a while… so I'll leave you alone after today," he muttered.
"What? No!" I shouted.
What was the point of sleeping with him if I'm not going to see him for almost a month?!
"But you'll be tired after school, training, and your concert… I'll see you when you're freer. Just call me," Valin reasoned.
"I don't care how tired I am! I still want to see you! Every day! I need to see you!"
My desperation made him laugh.
"Fine… I'll see you every day," he agreed with a smile.
The cringe hit me so hard that my heart nearly stopped.
I covered my face with both hands.
"But I'm pretty busy myself," he added, grabbing his laptop and heading out. "So you better be grateful."
We have to be dating now.
He's giving me too much special attention for this to be casual. But just to be sure...
I'll ask him tomorrow... where I really stand.