"Poison? From the kitchens? What do you mean?" "I was just served some pudding from the kitchens! But when my mother decided to take a bite…her body is now lying on the floor in my family home! Take a look for yourself!" "What are you talking about boy? If such a thing did occur, then where is the rest of your family? Why are you the only one here alone?" "What? I…I just…" "You are screaming and shouting, but you have no tears from your face and not a single drop of blood on you…you didn't hold the corpse in your hand, did you?" "Sister? Hwa-Wol?" "Just look at him Yeon, do you really not recognise him at all?" "I…" "I have seen him in the palace plenty of times when I visited you. And how did his mother have a bite to eat of the pudding but he himself who wanted the food hadn't even touched it yet?" "Bo-Geom! Get your mother a glass of water and take her and your siblings inside my brother's home!" "Where is your husband Yeon? I must speak to him about something whilst your husband deals with this issue!" "He is at home drinking, so I doubt that he will make any sense of…" "I will see him quickly, please just watch the children for me! I shall shortly return to help your brother with this investigation myself!" "Very well…" "…but I ahem already told you everything! I am a resident in your village, how can you just treat me like this!" "A villager that has leather boots instead of wearing the straw ones that everyone else does around here? Shoes from the embroidery house has just gone into production, so why do you have them early? Unless you did not get them from here at all, then where could you have possibly gotten them from I wonder? If you really are a resident from this village, I mean." "But I…" "And what are those marks on your hands? Brother? isn't that dent mark on his hand similar to father's bow that was destroyed?" "Men! Arrest this man and bring him to my quarters at once! Bring his family here as well…" "My Lord, there is no poisoned mother on the ground anywhere! And the food has been checked, there is no poison at all!"
"My Lord! We have found a body of a young woman right on the outskirts of the village! It is said that she is covered in whipping marks! She was the servant of The Mistress Hwa-Wol!" "What are you talking about? I only dismissed the girl for wearing too much makeup around the male physicians! I didn't have her whipped or anything! But I should have! It is women like her that is the reason why it is hard for male physicians to take their female counterparts seriously! What kind of future can my daughter have with people like this!" "Fret not Hwa-Wol, I have already assured your late husband that your daughter and her siblings education will be taken care of by me." "Thank you Lord Nam…but I know exactly who did this to us and I will be the one to take charge this time." "What do you mean?" "Lord Nam, I need your help entering the palace; I still have a lot of contacts in the kingdom when I go there to check up on my late husband stores, and I have plenty of information to share with you all." "Let us all get inside so that we can discuss this privately and then we can discuss the punishment for this criminal."
"You will tend to out children wife, don't you dare forget about that." The tone of voice in my husband's words shook me a little; I had no idea what his problem was but now was not the time to discuss it either. But the fact that he actually took me by the arm in front of everyone and slowly dragged me back to our home in order not to give my brother any reason to stop him had me worried. I knew that my husband was feeling guilty about my nephew, but the fact that he was avoiding eye contact with me was really beginning to worry me now. "Husband? What is the matter…" "You will not accompany Hwa-Wol into the palace! Do not even think about it!" He had me against the wall for the first time in a very long time and wouldn't let me leave until I had a conversation with him. "Hwa-Wol always comes running to me when I ask her to, how can you ask me to abandon her in her time of need? Nobody knows the palace like I do and…" "I do! Do you not remember! I knew the palace like the back of my hand before I gave it up for you and our family and…" "and you have been blaming me for this ever since, isn't that right? I thought that this place was healing you, but you just cannot wait to face all of your trauma and goals head on in the place without a single thought for us, isn't that so!" "I never said that…" "But you really want us to go back, do you not! Why can't we just raise our children in peace here until they are old enough to…" "Defend themselves! It is taking way too long and you still haven't fallen pregnant yet!" "Husband! Is this really want you want…or is it your old addiction talking to you? You can't just enjoy anything in peace without causing chaos, can you!" His eyes were blank and yet his temper was rising, this reminded me of our times in the palace when he was constantly high and distracted. I suffered a lot back then, but I was also resolved to never speak of it…but I was also a mother and an aunt with small children relying on me, so I could not let this happen again.
"Please just tell me; are you using again?" "What if I am wife? Will you join me in my fantasy world? And once again be that naive, innocent and soft girl under my father's roof that was ripe enough for the taking? You have no idea how much I was tempted and swayed back then by you, from the moment that you woke up and I only saw myself in your eyes for the very first time. You were young, you were beautiful and you were so….free in that cage of ours. I constantly think about you then every single night when I am in bed with you…" "And now? Are you tired of me now that I have grown old and haggard in the task of bearing your children for you?"
"You are not far from that person that you used to be, but you tease me with that illusion of you that I have grown with. You do not look for me anymore, you take care of everyone apart from myself and you have thoughts that you hide from me, do you not?" "I take care of you more than anyone and you know this!" "It is not enough anymore! I want you to scheme with me, to plan with me, to live life instead of us staying stuck at home like this! I should be taking our family out so we can all be well-traveled and educated!" "So you are bored here? Is that it?" "Do not put words in my mouth girl! You will stay by my side and stay in this home from now on! You will tend to my children yourself around the clock! And you will honour me with every single breath that you take! You will listen to my commands and nothing more!" "And what if I refuse?" "Then I will take my children with me to find a new woman to raise them…" "Someone like Hui-Jae! Is that why you are so desperate to go back to the palace! Is it for her! You want to see her because you miss her!" Damned you woman! I want more of you, and you dare compare yourself to that lowly wench!" "The lowly wench that you kept alive even though she drugged you! And killed our first child! Do you see her as a young woman? The same you woman that you first fell for, so much so that you were willing to betray my brother over her!" I had pushed him too far it seems, far enough for him to very angrily chase me around our home as soon as I saw my chance to escape and he hauled me onto his shoulders before storming off to our quarters and closing the dirts as quietly as he could in order not to wake up the twins.
Maybe it was the effect of everything that I had been through in my lifetime, or maybe it was the unpleasant memories that I shared with the man who professed to love me and promised to take care of me, but I could not remember what happened next. One minute he was on top of me and I was struggling to fight him off of me, and the next moment I remember completely blacking out before I could even ask for help.
I felt my body go limp from my toes upwards and I had position my head right in the direction of where my children were sleeping. Hyuk was crying his head off snd clinging to me just before I rocked him to sleep and my beautiful girl only gifted me a small smile before nodding off in her father's arms, where he smothered her with as much affection as he could muster without harming the girl. She was like the most delicate silk ribbon in his big hands and I was grateful for everyday that he didn't accidentally bruise her. My twins, my children, the 2 half of my heart, forgive me if I do not make it out of here alive… and as for that reckless husband of mine…
We used to he happy together; even when we were apart, we were both thinking of each other in every waking moment. He would always try to gift me something up on his return from work or in other villages and I would work his favourite meals for him and tend to him on my own. I would fill up his bath and keep him company, I would dry him personally where he would take as much advantage of me as I would allow him to. I would dress him where he would just unwind from a day of hard work and just stare at me; waiting for me to be done with my chores before I could spend the rest of the evening with him. We would occasionally have dinner outside under the cool Korean sky and blooming flowers so that I could distract him from anything unpleasant that made him sad or worried when it was his time to spend with me. I would give him massages, I would comb out his hair and I would lay on top of him if he had nothing to say to me at all and just try to enjoy his company as much as I could before we both retired to bed. Bless him, he would try to sleep as fast as he could so that he could be more well-rested for work, but he always complained that I distracted him, even though I only wore what he requested that I wear in bed. Even when he had male concubines to entertain him on occasion, he has never spend an entire day out with any of them and hardly entertained them in return. He got what he wanted and he left as soon as he got it, and always made his way into my bed after spending some small time with them. It was always me that he came for, for comfort, for peace of mind, for a patient ear to listen to him and a busy mouth to give him the advice he sought out. He really did make me his entire world, so much so that I was also the one that he came to when he was angry, when he was tried, when he was frustrated, and when he was high. I was still the first and last person that we wanted to see every morning, afternoon and evening….to the point where he would do this to me? Really? But why? Why would he ruin all of this that we had worked hard for? And for what? Adventure? Adrenaline? Curiosity? Boredom? And why would he leave me like this…