"Madame Nam, I am here to assess you…" "No! Please! It must be MoonBok! Only him! Please call for him! I will not accept anyone else to exam me apart from…Jeong Beom! How did you find me? What are you doing to the doctor?" "What do you think? Absolutely nobody can find out that you are going to have twins, otherwise they will take them from you and bury them in a heartbeat!" "Thank you! Thank you so much! Please get me out of here…I am in so much pain…" "I have a carriage ready and I will take you to your home and then fetch Moonbok for you. I have already alerted the authorities in the palace that your brother already has a team of doctors waiting for you and you will need to stay inside as to not arouse any suspicion on why you are desperate to be treated outside of the palace." "Very well, just please get me out of here before I loose my mind!" "I will get you out of here I promise, but you need to be a quiet as you possibly can be. Can you do that for me?" "Yes, I will try…" I could smell it again; the scent of bluebell flowers that I used to decorate our homes with and place these same flowers right near my husband's bed, especially when he had his nightmares about his parents…
"…despite the level of anxiety and stress that you are under, the babies seem to be unaffected. But it does look like you will be going into labour within a day or two, so I really need to get you back to the village as soon as possible…" "The village…how is the village? And the villagers? Have there been any more attacks? How is the little girl? And her mother?" "We couldn't save them unfortunately, and the families we exiled have't survived either. The village has somewhat calmed down, but we still all plan to move over to a different land. We will move the villagers out slowly as the menfolk are preparing homes for us all, but you will need to stay behind until you have given birth and…" "Jeong Beom…he is here, isn't he? My husband? He has returned hasn't he? So why won't he come to see me? Doesn't he know the condition that I am in? Doesn't he know that…" "Sister! Please forgive me! I…cannot say anything until you have done your…wifely duty. But I can promise you that you will be reunited very soon, even tonight if possible. I hope that can reassure you….but…" "What is wrong with him? With my husband? Is he angry? Is he resentful? Is he…." "Hate doesn't disappear overnight sister, and your husband has been conditioned to hold onto even the slightest of grudges. SeonHo he…is in a rather murderous mood and it is best for him to vent out all of his anger before he reunites with you, don't you think so?" "Very well, please make the arrangements quickly then; if my husband cannot be here for me during this time, then I need to be around familiar faces." "Remember to keep as quiet as possible and I will come back for you soon I promise you."
Strong anger only seeks to weaken the soul and the resolve for justice; I have told my husband that so many times and yet I can hardly imagine what he is feeling and going though right now, especially without me to comfort him or talk to him at all. I was not allowed to even send him any letters in case they were intercepted, so I have no idea what has happened to him or what he has been through at all. But anger was a disease that was contagious once the victim found itself in a rage…so how was I going to do this? Become a mother and soothe my husband at the very same time? How can I possibly…
"…I do hope that you do not mind the intrusion, but maybe I could keep you some company whilst your loyal friends are out there trying their best to tae care of you…" My Lady? How did you even…" "I have been a concubine for years and I have my ways in and out of the palace." "My Lady, this is really not the right time inc are you haven't noticed…" "That you are about to bring new life into this world just as my own daughter's body lies frozen in time forever? Or how about my son who is god knows where living on god only knows what with a full family and a team of servants to feed and pay? And how about myself? Is my life in danger now? After I had tried to kill you and I failed? Is your precious husband coming get me and get his revenge?" What was going on? Why was I being left out of everything? Why did everyone know everything about my husband apart from me? What had I done to earn such a punishment? "I am currently unaware of my husband's plans as you can see, I am no position to do anything about it even if I did know, My Lady." "You know, I do have to admit that I envy you and the relationship that you have with your husband. He must cherish you dearly to abandon his own revenge to come and not only save you, but to avenge you fir the mistakes that my daughter commented against you." "Mistakes? Lives have been lost, and you call that a mistake, My Lady?"
"You know, I did used to be as beautiful as you are now once upon a time ago, despite your pregnancy. I was so beautiful in fact that many a married men wanted my hand in marriage and they were prepared to change the statuses of their wives for me. But that all changed when your whore of a mother was thrown into the biggest brothel here by her own family and then she caught everyone's attention…simply because she refused to serve anyone. But she didn't have any problem opening her legs for you father,,,and that is exactly what you did to The Lord Nam, didn't you? Your brother's childhood best friend who hardly looked your way until you got a new face and personality to match and rather conveniently, a new ambitious attitude, isn't that right? He was with the other girl and yet…you hardly gave him any peace with her, did you?" "My Lady, I really have no idea what you are talking about…" "Let me take a wild guess here; you displayed your intelligence to attract him towards you, but you still kept your distance from him once you have fully piqued his curiosity? You meddled in his affairs as much as possible, you indulged his bad behaviours and you made him comfortable enough to let him start opening up to you for the first time in your life. You teased him here and there, and you were always available for him what ever he needed."
"How did you…" "I have no idea if I should compliment you or fear you for copying your mother's exact steps to seduce your father. You probably heard about your father's undying devotion to your mother and so on and so froth, but I can assure you that it was your mother who fell head over heels in love with him and couldn't keep her eyes off of him. Your father had just escaped his own family and he was in desperate need to be taken care of, despite his strong and independent ambitions. Your mother already had a reputation for not being sold or giving in under pressure, but she went out of her way to take care of him and made sure that none of the other kisaengs went anywhere near him. She housed him in the brothel, she made him food and she washed his clothes. She became his person to talk to, to confide in and to share precious moments with. And when the brothel finally had enough of their relationship because she refused to be seen by anyone, he almost risked heaven and earth to elope with the girl that the entire village had fallen for. Now you tell me if that sounds familiar to you or not?" "I didn't purposefully seduce my husband! I even left several times so that he can…" "Chase you? Purses you? Take on your burdens as his own? And you still created enough distance for him to start clinging onto you and panicking when you do not give him the same amount of affection and attention? But I suppose that with all of the trauma that your husband has, it isn't as simply as that, is it? Your husband has probably 100 obsessions going on in his head, but for him to centre them all around you like he does…" 'What is it? What I that supposed to mean?" "It means that your man will be in very immense pain when he sees you here framed for my death and being punished for it by The Royal Family that your family as been in service for. Who knows, he might even show up when you have already been beheaded…" "My Lady! I urge you to stop talking like that right now!"
"You know what? I am pretty sure that you are now around the same age as your mother when she died, and she was also in the same precarious situations as you are now. So let us see if you are capable enough to get out of this predicament, unlike your own mother who gave her life for you until the very end." I was far too heavily pregnant to even move, so I could not stop her when she suddenly started coughing and throwing up blood right near my feet. I had seen a lot of violence go down in my life, so I wasn't to shaken by the sight of her dying right in front of my eyes. But it was her eery smile that disturbed something in me, and now she had provoked my children into coming with full force. I was in labour, on my own and I had absolutely nobody besides me as support. I was in labour on my own and my husband was not here for me. I was in labour, and I was going to die here alone along with the babies that I had always wanted, without the husband that I loved dearly and I was going to be framed for the murder of a concubine who's family was pretty much torn apart by my hands.
Life is pleasant, death is peaceful, but it is the transition that is troublesome; how wished to go to sleep and reunite with my parents in the afterlife. But how unjustifiable it was for my children to only grow up in my womb and nothing more? I would say that by far the greatest thing that I had ever done was to continue to live when I wanted to die myself so many times. But the people that I would leave behind, how would they fare? My brother…he had better not grieve my death for too long and focus on loving chis own children in the exact same way that our own father did, even when he was left on his own to raise us. My brother's men should be consoled, especially Jeong Beom who desperately needed a woman in life to take care of his affairs. And my husband…in the end he chose his work over me, over the family that he was desperate to create with me and even when the end of his enemies were near, he still put his grudges over myself, the woman that he claimed to love above anyone and everyone. Well, it looked like he finally had his fill of me and now I was no longer of any use to him; maybe it was due to my epileptic condition that he was only feigning to be over about all of this time. I had served my purpose for him, and now he didn't want me anymore. And for this, I could never forgive him…