Walking to one of the seats within the room, Zackery slams his body down, spreads his legs, leans back, and releases a groan before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a cigarette that he places in his mouth.
"What the hell are you doing? You do realise we are in church!"
"I am not going to smoke; I am just feeling the tingling in my lips; it helps starve off the want and need to do it."
"Pathetic, get some willpower."
"God empowers me every day; I am just waiting for it to kick in for the day."
"It's almost night."
"Shut it!"
Rolling my eyes, I stare at the door and say, "Who was that girl? I don't remember there being anyone other than you working here."
"A trainee sent to aid me. You've seen the mess around here. Straight down from Cordum."
"Cordum? Wait, why would you have any contact with them?"
"Hey, I trained with them before returning to the village to take up this role. How else do you think I learned how to use Spirit Energy? It is a village tradition so we can properly maintain this landmark."
"Well, you should stop. Our village's branch of Telonism places heavier burdens on the community than the Church of the Messiah's Telonism does."
"Of course that's a cultural aspect that has become inseparable at this point, and the Church of the Messiah respects that. Besides, isn't your actual problem the warrant they have out for your arrest for breaking their laws by entering militaristic actions whilst still being an adventurer?"
Sweating, I say, "That barely matters anyway; they should focus more on the fact that one of there priest has expanded his congregation rapidly as well as recruited a young women as his servant."
"What a fun way to twist the situation, but I assure you that the masses of people don't have anything except for sticks and stones to tithe, which immediately goes back out to them. And on Admina, she is a good girl, one who is said to hear the voice of god very clearly, though her youth leads her to be overtaken by worldly sensations, so they shipped her out here to the boonies so she can learn to come here to her heart and soul to let the Messiah flow through her."
"And you were somehow the best man for the job?"
"That doesn't really matter. There is no such thing as an infallible person; we can make rules to restrict ourselves, but the beasts of the flesh have infinite potential for stupidity that can never truly be quelled. So we must find another to hold us accountable; she has me to hold her accountable, and I have my master, and my master's master has his own allies; each of us holds the other accountable, so when the devil strikes against us the others will catch us. It's why we're a social species, Captivant."
"Nothing but weakness, admitting you're a sheep is how legends died before they were born. One must surpass themselves in every single regard to reach the highest levels possible; otherwise you will be walking around like those losers who need to pray to merely deal with reality."
"Yet you walk the same land they do with even less freedom."
I stare at him in anger, and he continues, "Truth be told, there is some of god's divinity in what you say. Yet at the same time the Messiah never asked us to be perfect, never asked us to overcome ourselves to the point we are some being human altogether. Being able to admit your limits allows you to plan against them, stopping you from falling into sin. One who denies his weakness can never truly know when it has consumed him."
"Says the man who defiles this fragment of human history with his cigarettes and lack of attitude. Look at these pillars you dragged outside; they have dirt at the bottom now due to your actions."
"I will just get your mom to make new ones; she was the one who designed it originally."
"Do you take me for a moron? Am I supposed to believe my mom designed nearly 2000-year-old pillars?"
"Do you really believe we were able to keep 2000-year-old pillars in this village? They've obviously been stolen over the years."
Staring at the pillars, I say, "That's impossible; this look exact the same as the ones in the paintings, even the scuff marks and wear make it look like it has been a part of this place for centuries."
"Your mom is a really wiz with woodworking. I am sure you've had the pleasure of seeing it before."
The memories of the little sculpture as well as all the decoration on the other half of the room flow into my mind. "No way, my mother would've told me about this; she would've said something."
"Your mom didn't like to drag, but she learned it from a traveller who came during her younger years, and used it to help around the village, eventually getting real good at it. Her artistry was so good she could've started passing her things off as being from Skydust, and no one would've been the wiser."
Placing my hand against the pillar, I feel a calming sensation rush out of it, and I turn my head around and say, "Why? Why did she stop?"
Staring at the roof, Zackery says, "Because of you."
"What?"
"Your mother always wanted to have a child; unlike most women, she is someone who I would say has the inherent heart of a mother, yet her body wasn't like that. She couldn't get pregnant, causing her and everyone else to think she couldn't get pregnant. But luckily she did, and joy filled her vessel before being overtaken by fear. There was a good chance that she was going to have a miscarriage, as her issue was that her womb was essentially untenable for not only conceiving life, but nurturing it as well.
So she did all she could to try and circumvent any negative effects; she took whatever concoctions she could buy from merchants and even called into any single contact they might have aboard. There was even a period where she vanished from the village to seek the help of a family friend. Though in the end of it all she made a vow to God that if he protects her child, she would devote every walking hour she has towards said child, and answering her prayer, you were brought into the world. But she permanently damaged her throat due to how medicated she was, and even now every single time she uses her voice, pain surges through it. But she was happy having a son whom she loved, and who loved her back a lot, well until he grew up and started hating all women."
"I don't hate all women."
"Whatever you say. But just so you know, hatred is a gateway for the devil to enter into your life. You have to practise kindness and charity as well as loads of prayer to close that gate."
"I don't want to take advice from a man who openly smokes in a church."
"I am not smoking, just feeling the sensation of the blunt within my lips. It helps stave off the impulses."
"Sounds like a gateway to m-." Wait, no. If her womb can barely hold in children, and the situation she has been experiencing since I left.
Zackery's hand lands on my shoulder, and he says, "If you've realised it, we can keep going."
-Break-
Location: St. Mika's Church; Graveyard
Feeling my heart drop as my fist shakes, I look at the gravestone in front of me and say, "Carina Nightfall, from 1963-1963."
Walking forward and placing flowers in front of the grave, Zackery said, "Your mother always wanted a whole boatload of kids; she used to say that if she gave you younger siblings maybe you'd have cleaned up your act and become a role model. Filling in the gaps within your personality.
Luckily she was able to get pregnant around a decade after you left, but unfortunately her already untenable womb only got worse with age. The fact that you're alive is already a miracle, and it seems it didn't extend to Carina here. She made all sorts of decorations for her in your room, so she would get to feel her brother even if he never came back to see her."
"Why have you done this?"
Zackery turns his head around and says, "What part?"
"ALL OF IT! You've been pulling me around to try and get me here. Do you think this is funny? Trying to weaponise my feelings about my mother against me? But it's pointless; it's my father's fault for allowing my mother to even be in such a stressful situation to begin with. He should've kicked all these people out before it ever reached this point, and forgetting it all, why would that idiot even get pregnant again knowing what happened last time? She is lucky it was only the baby who got taken. This is just the result of those idiots' actions and good for them."
"You say all of that but then why are you crying?"
I quickly feel the tears across my face that the sensation of rage was obscuring and wipe them away, before I say, "No."
Facing the grave, Zackery says, "Stupid people deny all blame, bad people recontextualise the issues, normal people only take responsibility for their faults, and good people take all responsibility onto themselves. Those tears at least show me your veering towards the good path, that it wasn't a waste for all the love and effort they put in you. In truth, I had no plan to take to you until a few minutes before we met today. It seems the Messiah recognised that your heart had opened up a bit and sent me towards you for the day; maybe he still hasn't given up on you, Captivant."
"It doesn't matter, none of this matters. I've left it all behind; I have no need for anything here. Especially no need for a god that would let my sister die. But I guess you wouldn't understand that."
Laughing, Zackery says, "I understand, I understand that deep in my soul. Right now I am watching through a combination of mismanagement, greedy blood-sucking nobles, uncontrollable fear, and warmongering that the very land I grew up in is collapsing. And more than anything, I wish suffering and pain to those who have caused it, and to remove all the rest who don't belong here, as my heart loves this land more than any other. But the Messiah doesn't call us to do such a thing; his love is unselfish. It affects everyone everywhere regardless of there cultural, race, nationality, soul or even actions; it falls on everyone, unselfish love that attacks all those who live on this planet. It's what the Messiah calls us to have.
Yet I don't understand why? Why should I be okay with what my mind holds close, to what the legacy I've inherited has protected, why shouldn't I be able to protect that when the rest of the world has been unable to protect their own? In my heart I truly feel like the only way to follow the Messiah is to devalue this land, yet such a world seems inhumane. I don't know what to do."
His head hangs low as he grips his heart, and I reach my hand out to touch his head, yet he quickly rises and says, "Though I guess I would've said the same thing about you, Adrian. I thought you were a heartless bastard who had been forshaken by the very world itself, nothing more than a demon in human skin. Yet I still think there is hope for you to become Captivant. Maybe I am just stupid, maybe my emotions control me far more than logic ever could, maybe I just need to believe in the one who has never failed me, and maybe there is some light and miracle at the end of this all I couldn't possibly perceive. Maybe there is a world beyond the fourth world that only god knows. So I will trust in that, and I hope you can too."
ΦPlacing his hand on Adrian's shoulder, Zackery says, "Thank you for helping me today."
Then, with one hand, he crushes the cigarettes he keeps on his body and walks away as Captivant kneels in front of Carina's gravestone.