On the train back to the city, with Bell still asleep beside him, White kept thinking.
He finally had a clue, perhaps the main point, about Shu's mental breakdown. He needed to act accordingly.
Knowing that Miku's figure played a key role, he had to meet her and also Shu's parents.
Sigh.
'It is going to be hectic work…'
he didn't even know where to begin. But now he truly understood—he couldn't do this alone. He would need the help of everyone: Luna, Aris, Aisha, Bell, and also Zen.
But first, he had to find Zen. With Shu, he could still feel there was a little more time left, but in Zen's case… he didn't even know the state of his situation.
He only knew this much—Zen's emotions were consumed by hatred.
And he knew the trigger point as well: himself. Which meant the steps Zen would take could only lead to one thing—killing him.
But White had to convince him before his emotions consumed him completely.
"Yawn…" Bell stretched, her little yawn making him turn.
"Papa, where are we?" she asked sleepily.
"You woke up? That's good. We're going back now. If you want, you can sleep again," he suggested.
"No… Bell… Bell…" before she could finish, he heard her stomach grumble.
"So hungry?" White smiled knowingly. When he packed his bag earlier, he had made sure to carry snacks because he knew Bell would feel hungry. He handed her some.
She started eating happily. But while he was lost in his thoughts, she tugged at him, trying to offer him some. When he didn't respond, she stood and then—smack—she slapped him with her tiny hand.
"Hey! That hurts, Bell! What are you doing?" he said, rubbing his cheek.
"Aisha-sis said whenever you ignore me and look lost, I should slap you. She said that will bring you back to the right track again," Bell replied with a smug little grin on her face.
"That idiot…" White muttered, referring to Aisha.
But hearing that, a thought struck him.
"Bell, you're great! I was lost, but you brought me back to the track. And now… now I know what I have to do with Zen," he hugged Bell happily.
She tilted her head, clearly confused by what he meant.
As the sun set, they reached the station and started walking home, chatting along the way. Bell's cheerful voice brought him some relief from his storm of thoughts.
Just then, he heard a notification buzz from his jeans pocket.
"I bring him there… it's time."
White carried Bell on his back, running fast towards his apartment. He wanted to find Aisha, but she wasn't there. Maybe she hadn't returned yet. Taking Bell with him could be dangerous… he remembered the last time she saw him hurt—Aisha had told him she could lost control and ended up killing someone. He didn't want the same to happen to Zen.
So, he told Bell to be a good girl, that he was going out to buy groceries for dinner. She wanted to come too, but when he promised to bring her pudding, she let him go.
He ran towards the hideout—built once upon a time by him, Zen, and Aris. Yes, he had told Aris to bring Zen there, because being in that place might stir his memories. Maybe that would have some impact on him.
As he neared, he spotted two figures ahead. A boy and a girl. Zen and Aris.
It looked like Aris was struggling to keep him at the spot.
"Hey, Zen! Long time no see!" White called out, waving his hand as he approached.
"White?" Zen turned to look at him, then glanced at Aris.
"So that's why you said you wanted to come here of all places," Zen muttered, annoyed.
"If you're the one who told her to bring me here, then I'm leaving."
He turned to walk away.
White rushed forward and grabbed his arm.
"Don't be rude. I asked her to bring you here so I can talk to you."
"I don't," Zen snapped, slipping his hand out of his grip.
"No. You have to. At least listen to me first," White stood in front of him firmly.
"Stand aside. I won't say it again," Zen glared, his anger flaring.
If I let this chance slip… I wouldn't be able to save either him or Shu.
"No. Not until you listen to me," he said with determination.
Zen closed his eyes, scratched his head, and then suddenly—BAM! A heavy punch landed on White's face.
The impact was so strong he fell backwards. Zen wasn't holding back. His intent was clear—if White defied him, he'd kill him.
"If you still want some… then be my guest," Zen said coldly, walking away.
White lay on the ground, staring at the sky. Dark clouds hovered. Rain was coming.
Aris rushed to his side, calling his name over and over, but her voice sounded far away. Her lips moved, yet he couldn't hear clearly. His consciousness wavered.
And then—
"Hey, hey, look! It's a T-Rex from Dinosaur Diary!" A child's voice echoed somewhere.
"Oh, that's amazing!" another child's voice replied.
Memories stirred.
Yes… I remembered now. He was looking at the past again.
Back in middle school… I used to sit alone in the corner of class. I was afraid of forming friendships. I didn't want anyone to leave me behind like Mom did. So, I kept himself isolated. It hurt, but it was safer that way.
Other students gossiped about me, but either they kept their distance or I built a wall to keep them out. Just like Shu, except—her wall was to protect herself. …My was to keep others away.
And yet, despite that, there was this one kid. Black-and-yellow hair, always cheerful, always nagging me, always trying to pull me out of my shell. At first, I thought he was mocking me. But as days passed, I realized… he genuinely wanted to know me.
He even proclaimed himself my "rival." Everything I did, Zen treated as competition.
Zen was popular back then too—the star player of basketball. So, people gossiped even more. Why would someone like him talk to someone like me?
Everything stayed the same until one day—I accidentally collided with a delinquent. I was dragged into his group, and eventually, a fight broke out. Of course, the outcome was decided from the beginning—I was beaten down.
The next day, I sat quietly at my desk, bruises and bandages all over, while classmates whispered. Zen—he looked at me once, troubled. Then he walked away.
I thought, of course. If someone saw me like that, they'd avoid me. No one wants to get involved and end up targeted too. From then, Zen and I stopped talking in class.
Later that day, the teacher called me to the staff room. There—My eyes widened. Zen stood covered in mud, bruised and beaten from a fight.
"Is it true?" the teacher asked. "What Zen says—that your injuries were from your seniors?"
I froze.
How did Zen know?
"White, this boy fought three seniors. He said they attacked his friend. I'm asking you again—is that true?"
I was stunned. Elsa was the only one who had ever stood up for me before… and now here was Zen, fighting for me. Standing beside me.
I laughed.
"Hey! Don't laugh! Just say yes! If you don't, they'll suspend me. Are you even listening?!" Zen panicked.
That memory slowly faded as White returned to his senses. Aris's voice rang clearer now. Rain was pouring. He pushed himself up. His nose bled, his body barely standing.
He shouted hoarsely, "So you hate me now, Zen. You're angry at me, right?"
Zen froze, turning around.
"I struck a nerve, didn't I? You've hated me since the beginning. Because I was calmer than you, better at studies. And even your own sister… relies on me more than on you."
He knew he had to do the opposite to convince him—but Bell's words echoed in him. When someone is lost, you can only bring them back by shaking them hard enough to listen.
"What are you saying?!" Zen's voice thundered.
"You seem angry, so I must be right. You think I'm the reason Aris struggles so much, don't you?" White provoked him further.
"You bastard!" Zen roared, rushing and shoulder-tackling him in the stomach. White crashed into the muddy ground, rain soaking him.
Zen mounted him, fists raining down on his face. White tried to cover up, to stay conscious somehow.
Aris screamed, trying to pull him away, but his rage blinded him. In the chaos, his arm swung and struck Aris by accident.
That was White's chance. He swung with all his strength, punching Zen in the face. Zen's grip loosened, and White rolled away.
Blood blurred his vision, his face swollen, but he stood shakily.
Zen rushed to check Aris, but White shouted, provocation burning in his throat:
"See? You're the reason she got hurt! If you were really her brother, you would have been the one protecting her, not me!"
"Shut up!" Zen snapped, charging again.
This time White was ready. He dodged the punch, countering with a strike to Zen's face. Zen stumbled back. White followed through, landing a solid punch to his jaw. Zen collapsed to the ground.
Without pause, White pinned him and threw punch after punch.
"You know…" punch
"I thought, of all people…" punch
"You were the one…" punch
"Who understood me best…" punch
"I want to apologize…" punch
"Because of me, Aris had to suffer…" punch
"I know it hurt you—that I learned about her job, yet kept silent…" punch
"But one thing… will never change…" punch
"If I'm still here today… it's because of you…" punch
At last, White stopped. His blood-drenched hair fell over his eyes.
"When everyone else left… I only had Elsa as my sister… and her parents, who gave me shelter. Even though they loved me, I always felt like a burden."
"But you… you were the one who fought for me that day. You… gave me strength, Zen. And for that… I'll always be grateful."
Tears burned his eyes, mingling with blood. His vision warped, turning blurry. The injuries he had taken earlier were worse than he thought. He couldn't hold out any longer.
His voice cracked as he whispered the last words he could muster:
"Please, Zen… help me. I want to save Shu… and you… No… it is a lie. For more than others I want to save… myself…"
And with that, his body gave in.
Consciousness slipped. White fell beside Zen, the rain washing over both of them.