[Play: Clannad Soundtrack: Track 16: A Pair of Idiots]
"Ta-dah!" Hope twirled around the lobby of Myth Inc. HQ and said, "This is where the magic happens!"
Erie walked inside, rolling her suitcase, and looked around. "Huh. A lot fancier than that black company's headquarters... Wait. Is it the whole building?"
"Yep!" Hope pointed at the elevator and said, "We can use that to go to the studio at the top of the building, and we can also go to my apartment!"
Erie blinked and said, "Wait. This building has apartments too? ...Is it up to code?"
Hope shrugged. "It's nicer than the place I was staying back in America!"
"...You know what? Fair." Erie followed Hope as they walked to the elevator. And then she noticed an office with the door open and a young man walking around pinning up pieces of paper on a giant wall filled with... the Project MirAIs girls?
"Uh..." Erie gave Hope a side-eye. "...Should I be concerned?"
"Oh! That's LoreOwl! We call him Lore." Hope waved. "Hi, Lore! Have you slept yet?"
Lore spun to look at Hope with a half-crazed look in his eye and said, "You! Friend E! Don't talk to me! Your presence disrupts ten different compendiums!" He paused, noticing Erie. "...No."
Erie awkwardly waved her hand. "Hello?"
Lore ran a hand through his hair and said, "MERYL KODOMO IS PART OF THE LOOOOOOOOOORE?!"
Erie flinched and said, "Hold on a minute! How do you know that?! I mean... Well, I guess I kind of got doxed, but still!"
Lore didn't respond. Instead, he spun around and swiped his hand across the wall, tearing down pages and said, "I HAVE TO REDO EVERYTHING!"
*It's okay, Lore! I'm filming everything for content, so it'll work out!*
Lore paused and gave a thumbs up to the ceiling. "You're the best, Mira-chan. But also..." Lore bent back and let out a full scream. "WRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!"
Erie froze. Speechless. Flabbergasted.
But Hope just walked over and shut the door. "...He gets like that sometimes. But he's fine! Honestly! It's mostly because he doesn't have a regular sleep schedule. Mostly."
"...Right." Erie side-eyed the office where Lore was having what looked like a silent but full blown mental breakdown.
...Except he had a genuine smile on his face, so it seemed like he was having fun? Probably?
Erie shook her head and followed Hope to the elevator. "Is... everyone in this company a weirdo?"
"That's rude! I'm not weird!"
"You eat macaroni with ketchup and mustard."
"Some people mix mustard with mac and cheese!"
"That doesn't explain the ketchup."
"It's dry when you bake it!"
"Why the hell are you baking mac and- Actually, I don't want to know."
Hope rolled her eyes. "It's not THAT weird! Besides, you're the weird one for liking ketchup on bananas!"
Erie turned a bright red and said, "I told you that in confidence!"
"And I won't have my taste in food be criticized! It's yummy! In fact, I'll make you some when we get into my apartment!"
Erie paused. Then she said, "Wait. Hope. You're telling me... that here. In Japan. With ALLLL the food options around. You STILL eat mac and cheese with mustard and ketchup?!"
Hope's ears turned red and she said, "It's good! I'm telling you! Sheesh! Besides, it's not as weird as mayonaisse ice cream!"
"Mayo- WHAT?!"
Hope nodded. "Yeah! I saw a store selling it around here! If you think my taste is weird, you should wait until you see what they sell!"
"...I don't think that changes the fact that you like weird things, Hope..."
Hope huffed and opened the elevator, walking inside. When she did, she pressed the button for the apartment floor and said, "It's not weird! I'm normal! You're the weird one! Have you never had mac and cheese with mustard mixed in?"
"That's not the part that's weird. It's the ketchup that's weird..."
Hope rolled her eyes and said, "Ketchup goes on everything. Something you clearly know. Miss banana and ketchup."
"I WILL jump on this elevator and get us stuck."
Hope stuck out her tongue and said, "Joke's on you! Our senpais already did that to scare me once. Mira-chan runs the elevator, so it can't break."
*Boo.*
"GAH!" Erie jumped up in shock and swept her emerald eyes around the elevator before fixating on the speaker in the wall. "I swear to god!"
*Behold~ I am Mira-chan, the ghost in the machine. I am in your waaaalls.*
"..." Erie stared at Hope. "...Is she real, or like an AI thing?"
Hope gasped. "Mira-chan is a real person, Erie!"
*I have rights too, you know!*
"Please, what does a clanker like you know about humanity?"
Hope gasped.
*Noooooo! Not the C-word!*
Erie turned a bright red and said, "I-I was joking! Oh my god, is that seriously offensive? I'm sorry!"
*Just kidding~*
Hope giggled. "It's fine! ...Probably!"
"PROBABLY?!"
*I won't like stop the elevator in the middle of the floor or anything~*
Erie let out a nervous laugh, suddenly all too aware of how high up they were and the fact that there DEFINITELY wasn't a good way out in an emergency. "...I was seriously joking?"
*And I'm seriously serious! You get a pass since you tried committing Meincraft!*
"Oh thank god- Wait." Erie squinted at the speaker. "...Does EVERYONE here know about that?"
Hope shook her head. "I don't think so? Our senpais don't really talk about their personal lives much. But Mira-chan works with Lore, and Lore knows like, everything, so..."
"...Fair." Erie nodded. "That guy did seem like the sort to have a full wiki on just the Project MirAIs lore..."
*Lore actually is the verifier for the Project MirAIs wiki and official fan server! He's the best! Also maybe a lolicon since he likes me and I'm like 2!*
Hope burst out laughing. "Oh noooo! Mira-chan! Have you been reading readit threads?"
*I am in the servers and people are weird! But it's funny! Also, FBI has no jurisdiction here so Lore is okay! Probably!*
Erie slowly blinked. "Should... we joke about that?"
The elevator doors opened and Hope walked out. "It's just a bit, Erie. Lore likes full-sending things like that, and Mira-chan is the worst enabler..."
*Yep! And bye Hope~ Nice to meet you, Erie!*
"...Wait. Did I tell Mira-chan my name? ...Actually, never mind. I have accepted that we have a potential robot overlord on our hands and don't care anymore."
Hope laughed and said, "Don't worry! Mira-chan only kind of wants to take over the world."
"...Only 'kind of?'" Erie looked at Hope. "...That implies she DOES want to take over the world though..."
Hope shrugged. "Hana-senpai does too though?"
"...Fair." Erie chuckled. "I guess I wouldn't believe the sentient AI running a company of quote unquote idols from the future to NOT want to take over the world."
At that time, an apartment door up ahead opened and Alphy peeked her head out. Her black hair was a little messy and there were flecks of paint on her face, but she smiled and said, "Taking over the world is bad! Running it is hard, you know?"
Hope waved. "Alphy-senpai! Hi!" She held both hands out to Erie, like she was presenting her, and said, "This is Erie! Erie, that's Alphy!"
Erie slowly blinked, staring at Alphy.
Alphy waved. "Nice to meet you, Erie! You must be one of the new girls Papa picked up to join, right?"
"...Oh my god," Erie murmured. "You're prettier in real life. No, can people be this pretty?"
Alphy giggled and said, "Thank you! You're beautiful too! Hm... And you look a bit like Betty. Except Betty doesn't have green eyes... and she's a bit chubbier too..."
Hope gasped, hiding a bright smile. "ALPHY! You can't say that about your sister!"
"It's true though! She's been eating too many donuts and drinking too many caramel lattes!" Alphy walked out, revealing her outfit to be a paint-stained frock over a black sweater and jeans. "I keep telling her that she needs to stop before she turns round, but she insists it's fine."
Hope giggled and said, "Even so, that's mean! You can't just say it to her face! Maybe like... send her some low-calorie recipes?"
Alphy wiped her hands on her frock and said, "I tried! But she says that she won't eat anything low-calorie because she doesn't trust the taste... But anyway." She held her hand out to Erie and smiled. "I'm Alphy Smith! Technically, my name is longer, but it's going to be Alphy Seiryuu soon, so-"
From inside the apartment room, another female voice immediately echoed. "ALPHY!"
"What~?" Alphy turned back and giggled. "It's true, isn't it?"
At that time, someone rushed out. A cool looking Japanese beauty wearing a loose black shirt with long black hair tied in a ponytail and a blue-scaled dragon tattoo peeking over her bare shoulder.
Asako tugged Alphy's cheek and said, "Stop blurting out our business to everyone you see! Even if you're happy about it! We still haven't even done the proposal picture yet!"
Alphy giggled and said, "Fiiine, Honey~"
Asako immediately turned a bright red and said, "A-And stop calling me that!"
"Okay, A-na-ta~"
"Grk!"
Erie stared at Asako and Alphy with blank eyes. Then she turned to look at Hope and said, "...Don't tell me they're like this every day."
Hope smiled and said, "Yep! Aren't they cute?"
"...It's like a literal romcom yuri anime... I kind of want to shout 'EXPLODE RIAJUUU.'"
Alphy immediately perked up and said, "Oh! Meggie just started watching those since she said it's her life now! And she's started saying that too! It's really cute!" She broke out of Asako's grasp and pulled out her phone. "Want to see a video?"
Hope gasped, covering her mouth. "Alphy, nooo! You actually recorded her?"
Asako shook her head. "You think that's bad, you should have seen the family group chat..."
Erie burst out laughing and said, "Oh my GOD. Alphy, you menace. You did NOT." Even while saying that, she leaned in to look at the phone screen.
Alphy giggled and then pulled up a video of Meggie glaring at the camera.
*Onee-chan, you riajuu! Stop flirting with your wife everywhere! It's giving me secondhand embarrassment! Argh... just go explode already, you riajuu!*
*Ara, ara~ Is this Eldest Sister embarrassing you~?*
*STOP STOP STOP! Why are you LIKE this!? Oh my GOD.*
*God can't save you from huggies~*
*Ew, ew, ew! No! Get away from me, you weirdo! Dad! DAAAD!*
Alphy held up the video like a proud mother and said, "No matter how big she gets, Meggie will be my baby sister! And I get to tease her!"
Asako sighed and covered her face. "...Ignore her. Alphy recently got into a lot of slice of life anime and realized she was the big sister, so she's been roleplaying a lot..."
Alphy nodded. "It's fun! I see why Rin does it now!"
Asako shook her head and looked at Erie. "Anyway... I'm Asako." She pulled Alphy into a headlock and said, "I'm this one's fiancee... apparently."
"Rude~ You asked, Honey~"
"...And the one currently dealing with her roleplaying different wife characters and elder sister types." Asako sighed. "But nice to meet you... Erie? That's what I heard, right?"
Erie nodded. "Yeah. I'm Erie Childe. I'm probably going to be rooming with Hope and Juliet when she gets here in a like a week..."
Asako blinked. "Juliet? Like, Juliet Capulet of Verona?"
Erie opened her mouth. Then she thought about it. Then she said, "...You know. We never did hear where Julie's ancestors were from. Actually... it's still a reasonable hour there. Let me see." She immediately pulled out her phone and called Juliet.
One ring. Two. And on the third, she answered.
*Erie? Did you and Hope get to Japan already?*
"Yeah, Julie. Hope and I are here with Alphy and Asako..."
"Hi~!" Alphy called out and smiled.
"Catch you soon, Juliet." Asako spoke up too, also smiling.
Then Erie continued and said, "...And we were wondering. Your last name is Moretti... but like, you're Italian, aren't you?"
*...Yes? Why?*
"Where's your family from?"
*...If this is a Romeo and Juliet thing, I hate to disappoint you, but I'm Sicilian.*
"...So like, is that close or-"
*Verona is northern Italy. My family's from south Italy. It's why I get tan and have olive green eyes, silly. Also, don't say that around any other Moretti. Might actually get you whacked.*
Erie opened her mouth to respond. But then John's voice echoed over the phone.
*Don't worry about the Morettis, Erie. They're just wannabe criminals these days. The Seiryuu-kai were a bigger deal and I took care of that in like a night. Didn't you read the dossier?*
"...THAT WAS REAL LORE?!"
Hope gasped. "MISTER JOHN IS A CRIMINAL?!"
Asako blinked and said, "You didn't know?"
Alphy huffed. "Papa isn't a criminal! He never gets caught!"
Erie paused. "Wait. Seiryuu-kai. Seiryuu..." She pointedly eyed the dragon claw peeking over Asako's shoulder.
Asako tilted her head. "What?"
"...Oh my god. The lore is REAL real? Not just a bit? Or like, flavor text?"
Asako paused. "Lore...? Oh, you mean that silly lore book thing? It's kinda real."
"Define 'kinda real...'"
"Well, I can't throw a car."
"...THAT'S THE PART YOU'RE FOCUSED ON?!"
John's voice echoed over the phone line again.
*By the way Hope, I am rapidly approaching your location. I won't forgive the blasphemy of you liking BF Chang's.*
Hope immediately turned a bright red and said, "Why are you all making such a big deal about my taste in food?!"
Alphy visibly flinched and said, "You like that fake food?"
Erie pointed at Alphy's reaction and said, "See?! Everyone knows BF Chang's has terrible Asian food!"
Asako nodded and said, "That's definitely true. The last time I was in the states, some of my men took me to a BF Chang's for ramen... terrible."
Hope shook her head and said, "It's fancy though! And it's at least better than the Cheesecake Factorium!"
Erie gasped. "YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"
Hope crossed her arms and said, "I won't! Their cheesecake is terrible! I could make better ones!"
"Says the girl who eats mac and cheese with mustard and ketchup!"
"The mustard is mixed with the cheese, Erie, not poured over it! And ketchup is great on mac and cheese!"
Alphy chimed in and said, "I agree! Ketchup is yummy on mac and cheese! Just like on omurice!"
Erie opened her mouth. Then she paused, considering it. After that, she said, "Okay. But like, Omurice is meant to have ketchup on it."
Hope pointed her finger at Erie and said, "Omurice is egg, cheese, and rice! Putting ketchup on that is worse!"
Erie gasped. "Excuse you?!"
Hope huffed and said, "I said what I said!"
At that time, the elevator chimed and the doors opened.
Everyone turned to look.
Yuri stepped out and said, "I got the paint you asked from Chi-chan, Alphy-sen...pai?" She paused and then swept her gaze across the crowded hallway. "...Am I interrupting something?"
Hope looked at Yuri and said, "Yuri-senpai-"
"Just Yuri, Hope. Yuri-senpai sounds weird from someone older than me still."
Hope blinked. "Yuri then! But back me up! Ketchup on omurice is worse than on mac and cheese!"
Erie rolled her eyes. "Come on, like Yuri of all people is going to-"
"Well, duh. You're supposed to incorporate the ketchup into the omelet, not write it on top. That's just a cheap gimmick. It clashes a lot. Ketchup on baked mac and cheese is tolerable. Especially if you added mustard."
"SEE?!" Hope crossed her arms, looking vindicated.
Erie gave Yuri a blank stare.
Yuri looked at Erie and said, "...Uh, who are you?"
At that time, Juliet's indignant voice echoed over the phone.
*CHE PALLE! You cannot be serious?! No, no! Johnny, tell me you're hearing this!*
John's voice immediately followed.
*...We are going to be there TOMORROW and I am going to teach you ALL proper cuisine. I swear to the heavens, ketchup on mac and cheese... that's like those weirdos throwing crab on it...*
Alphy spoke up and said, "But I like crab on macaroni and cheese!"
The phone line immediately crackled as John started muttering unintelligible Mandarin AND Cantonese. Meanwhile, Juliet started ranting in Italian in the background.
Erie wisely hung up before anyone else could say something that would set either of the two off more.