My resolution that day made my desire burn brighter than the sun itself. I was frustrated with how things turned out for Deanna Remus. How could they left and starved a person like this? Even the room looked dirty with cobwebs and dust. I dusted the table a bit before I sat down and wrote everything that I remembered. I was grateful, though not many were shown to me. I believed it was alright because a new life awaits me.
A few hours later, Laura came with a haggard face, though she tried to look composed. Then she kept on apologizing as if it was her own that this mishap occurred. I have been locked inside my room, without any contact with anyone, for almost two months. The door was tightly locked, with only my stepmother private's maid that has the key. She would send me food once a day, though it seemed more like a leftover. I tried to calm Laura, though my voice cracked as I pronounced the words. I am mad at myself for I am who couldn't even protect the only one person who was precious to me. I felt like I just swallowed a needle because the thought of how powerless I am, breaks me.
"I am fine. You don't need to feel sorry. How are you feeling?" I said.
"I am sorry. I shouldn't have suggested we go for a walk that day."
She pleaded apologetically as if her crime were as heavy as the sun itself.
"It is fine. I know you did it for me. Please stop apologizing. It is fine, I am not weak as you thought I was."
"You are like a family to me, my lady. I have known you for thirteen years already. I should have known well what I should and shouldn't do. It is all my fault."
Unexpectedly, both of our eyes glistened with tears as both felt sorry towards each other. The person in front of me, who always looked composed, broke down because of that monstrous devil. I wish I was stronger, I wish I could make a difference. I am not some princess who has the leisure to wait for the fairy godmother or even a prince, to break the spell. I am just me. Thanks to Laura's statement, I knew I was seventeen years old now. I got one year left to change everything.
A day passed, and even though now the door was no longer locked, and it seemed like everything turned back to usual, Laura still seemed to be tied down with other tasks that were assigned to her during the time I was locked inside my room. So it was hard for her to see me as frequently as before. Honestly, I have expected that my stepmother couldn't get rid of me without any valid excuses. All the threats that she said before were just cowardly threats. So she tends to keep driving me to the edge of the cliff, as it was one of the satisfaction that she could have.
The morning dew reels in as it sent an invitation for us to bring joy to our beloved. I needed to make a few strategies, either to gain my father's trust or to look for other solutions in the outside world. Whether I find the power inside the mansion or the outside. What are my first steps? Although here was nothing compared to my previous life, I am sure there must be something I can do without being dragged too much attention on me.
After I had my breakfast, I wrote multiple pros and cons with the information that I got to support my plans. I need to have a strategy first before I strike as I didn't intend to fight a losing battle. Moreover, every plan has its own variable, either controlled or uncontrolled, so I have to make sure I am ready to counter the fight. Besides, I also have to think about my finances. Truthfully, I am not sure whether I have some investment or not, despite the way my father acted upon me before I died. I tried to convince myself because I am also one of her daughters, there should be a tiny bit of love between us. Though in the end, I am swallowing back my words. I am not that convinced that he loves me.
Then Laura came in and broke the silence. I tried to accustom myself to the environment without troubling myself and Laura. Though it didn't trouble me much due to the lack of communication between me and the others. However, with Laura, I would like to speak like how I spoke with a family, but how could I, when she acted and spoke very politely with me. I asked her just to call me using my name because it seems tedious every time she has to greet me as her lady. However, she refused strictly.
"My lady, would you like a cup of tea?"
"Yes, please. Laura, do you think I can go out today? Let's go at noon. We will go out quietly. I know that my stepmother wouldn't care about me or even come here anyway. It's fine, right? Right?"
Since Laura was like a big sister and family to me, I felt like I had to ask for her permission and I knew she would be distraught if I didn't inform her. So I tried to persuade Laura. At first, I didn't really plan to go out but merely asked, but as I continued my words, I felt like I really wanted to go. I know it was selfish of me, but I promised her that I would avoid any danger that comes. My eyes glistened as I persuaded her.
"My lady, I don't think I can allow that. If you want anything, I would be happy to bring it to you. Even if I allow, I can't accompany you today."
"No, Laura, I want to go out. I want to breathe the fresh air outside the mansion. I want to see people bustling in their everyday life. I want to experience it too. Please, Laura."
"But..."
Without letting her finish her words, I continued with a begging voice.
"I will be careful. I promise. Please."
"Fine, but be back before dark. If you didn't come home by then, I wouldn't let you out anymore. *sigh* I know I should have said no, but how could I refuse you, my lady. So I am begging, please take care of yourself."
With a heavy heart, Laura allowed me to go. She was still worried, but she respected my decision and trusted me. I am very delighted and hugged her contently. I knew if I continued to persuade her, she would be a bit soft-hearted.
"Thank you, Laura. I will remember."
As soon as I received Laura's approval, I asked her about the financial advisor of the duke's household. Since I have never requested, I am curious about my assets. I also need some money to go out today. Though, it doesn't concern me much as I could sell some of my jewellery or any of my belongings.
"Laura, where is Baron Marcius, is he inside the main office? I would like to meet him."
"I think I saw him in the kitchen just now. He is checking the food supply that arrives just now."
"I am going to see him now."
Baron Marcius was a righteous and perfectionist person. So I thought it would not be difficult to converse with him. Even though his job was handling the household and its occupant's finances, he always administered the scenes himself. He was one of the people that I respected though I never conversed with him before. I respected the way he handled his tasks—very precise, without any corruption. He was once only a commoner, but with his skills, he earned himself the noble title.
So, without further ado, I brushed my hair neatly and rushed towards the door. Laura stopped me because it was not ladylike and I should have informed him beforehand. Hence, I asked Laura to inform Baron Marcius to come to my room as soon as he finished. An hour after sending the invitation, Baron Marcius came with somewhat puzzled.
"My lady, Baron Marcius is here," Laura announced his arrival.
"Come in. Laura, could you get us a cup of tea, please."
Baron Marcius was surprised as he never heard a young lady from a noble family say please to a maid before. All the nobles were usually polite but cold towards the ones below them.
"Good morning. To what do I owe you this honour, my lady?"
"Good morning. Have a seat. How is your family doing? How is your wife? I heard she just gave birth."
"Everyone doing well, my lady. Yes, we were blessed with a son."
The questions that I asked made him more puzzled, he wishes me to go straight to the point. However, he just observed the situation without interfering. About five minutes later, Laura came with a tea.
"This is one of my favourite tea. Though it is just black tea but with milk and tinge of vanilla extract makes it heavenly."
"Thank you, my lady. Though I have never tasted tea with milk before. I must say that it is quite delightful."
"I am that glad you like it. Baron Marcius, the reason that I called you here is to ask about my finances. How are my assets look? Or the exact questions that I want to ask is, do I have any assets?"
I asked confidently, though inside I am ready to feel betrayed.
"My lady, I always thought why you have never used any of your assets. So to answer your question, yes, you have, and it might be more than the Duchess asset since you have never used it."
I was perplexed because I never thought that my father gave me any allowances.
"Since I have never used any of my assets. I am not sure how to spend it. It would be an honour if you could explain it to me."
"It is not that hard, my lady. For example, if you want to buy something from a store, inform the owner to collect payment from the household. The store owner will ask your name, and to verify this transaction you need the badge. The badge shows your name and which household you're from. I will bring the badge here now if you like."
"Thank you, Baron Marcius. Yes, I would like to have it. But it is fine if it's not today."
"It is fine, my lady. I am glad to help. I will bring it here now."
I am pleased everything works out well because Baron Marcius didn't care about the rumour or anything, he just treated me like one of the members of the Duke's. About 15 minutes, he arrived with the badge and a paper to sign. Since he was quite busy, he just gave me the badge and bid farewell. I am very delighted today as everything works out well and now I should get ready to go out now. I am a little bit worried to explore alone, but my resolution was higher than my worries. I just can't wait to go out.
Before I went out, Laura reminded me again about which road should I took, what to do if something happened, and all the other stuff that makes me love her even more. My eyes were sparkling with tears and the feeling of being loved. To avoid any interferences, I disguised myself as one of the maids and took the side entrance. Not many people used this entrance, except for the maids or local merchants. From the entrance, I had to walk about 15 minutes to reach the town. I could ride a carriage since I had money, but I didn't want to let others knew that I went out.
As soon as Baron Marcius returned to his office, he wrote a letter to Duke Remus and stated that I had already received the badge. He was secretly pleased that I am now changed for the better. As before, I am the eldest lady of the household who never spoke to anyone, never went out, or even asked for anything. Therefore, with that peace of mind, he decided to support me.