(Vivaan's POV)
I came out of the room.
A soft click.
Eyes downcast for the first time.
That's not what should have happened.
I was giving her hopes by my actions? Can't she remember how I forced her to marry me? What about her family things now?
This marriage had to end. She doesn't belong in my world, nor I do in hers.
She's not even my ideal woman. Always defies, always questions, always crosses boundaries, and above all- vulnerable, fragile, delicate.
She has every right to question me. Every right to end this charade. But not now.
Not when Rushaan is vying for her, not when things are getting dangerous, not when... she knows about me.
I started walking to the dining room. Everything was silent, like every other day. But it was bothering me. It shouldn't be silent. I am not a monster who demands silence.
I sighed.
Why was I thinking THIS now?
I had my priorities.
I have a company to hold, a legacy to continue.
Not a woman to coddle or cherish her thoughts.
Everyone was there on the dining table. Except badi dadi and... Kruthi.
"So... back to work bhaiya?" Naina who was sitting adjacent to me asked me.
Back to work?
I raised an eyebrow. Unlocked my phone silently.
Indeed.
Back to work soon.
I nodded my head silently while serving the dishes to myself.
"Bhaiya, you have only two days to spare for bhabhi." Naina teased me with a giggle.
And before I could control myself-
"I have my entire life for her."
I paused for a moment. A realisation hit me.
This wasn't voluntary.
These sentences I speak regarding Kruthi, this silent way of acceptance. It just happened. Before I could figure out.
I never realised it ever, till today. After she pointed it out.
I noticed some stares on me. Guess I attracted attention.
Acting nonchalant, I continued pouring meal in the plate.
Next to me, and empty chair.
Kruthi's.
I sighed silently and looked at Naina, forwarding the serves to her.
"Give this to Kruthi in her bedroom."
"Her?" Naina raised her eyebrow in suspicion.
"Our." I corrected myself.
"Wapas you both argued?" Naina asked in a low voice.
"We were just conversing." I spoke calmly.
She didn't ask anything more. But didn't move either.
"If you both were just conversing, go and serve it to her. Before being my bhabhi, she's your wife." Naina focused her attention back on her meal.
Before I could say anything more, Ayesha stood from her seat, took the serves and went to Kruthi, ignoring the gazes from Rushaan and her in laws.
Rushaan stood up suddenly and went to her.
He cupped her face gently and forced a smile.
I could sense that. His acting. His silent threat hidden behind that smile.
"You don't have to do it my jaan." He said still holding her.
But I noticed.
How he applied a certain pressure behind her ear as a warning.
Ayesha remained nonchalant.
"If I won't, who will? you?"
I paused eating midway again.
"If I won't, who will?"
Coincidence perhaps.
With that she went to Kruthi's room, leaving Rushaan standing there.
(Kruthi's POV)
Why does he always leave me hanging?
I was near the bed, sitting on the floor.
Crying.
Not loudly, but enough to silently let the other person know.
He just went out like... nothing happened.
Was I wrong to start falling for him? indeed I was, especially when he didn't care.
Why was he acting like that all the time.
Loyal, caring, gentle, understanding.
He has everything I want in my ideal husband.
My ideal partner.
Yet I cannot pursue him.
Because maybe...
I wasn't the one he wanted.
sobs
Why am I not what he wants?
Where do I lack?
Maybe I never deserved love...
But I hate him for giving me a hope which only had to shatter.
I always believed in love...
but never the notion of love.
I knew I never deserved love, affection.
Love is a luxury I cannot afford.
Suddenly, the door opened. I wiped my tears hastily.
"How long are you planning to starve yourself?" Ayesha asked me gently and made me sit on the bed.
I looked at her.
Involuntarily, tears streamed down my face.
"Ayesha di, very big issue happened." I said to her, suppressing my emotions.
"Big issues happens, but they are not that big. What happened?" She said while forwarding a spoon of poha to my mouth.
I shook my head with a sob.
"Nahi this really is a big issue."
"What?" She asked again and this time, I ate the poha.
"I..." Sobs "I am falling for him Ayesha di."
She paused, sighed and forwarded another spoon.
"You are not. Your mind is tricking you."
"N-no... I realised that if something happens to him, it worries me a lot. It worries me to an extent that I never worried even for myself that much."
"Really?" She raised an eyebrow. "You can live without him?"
I paused.
Slowly, nodded my head.
"That's it you don't love him. Your mind just tricked you because he is a man and he treated you how no other man did. That's not love okay? that's attraction."
I looked at her and slowly wiped my tears.
"Really?"
She nodded.
"But isn't attraction the first step of love?"
She stared at me for a moment and burst into laugh.
"No... see, you were attracted to Rushaan but did you love him?"
I shook my head gently.
"Exactly. And you toh are a devotee of Radha Krishna, how can you not know what is love? Every day you give yourself one hour to devote to their chants and all, you think there can be a single day you can have where there is not even a trace of them?"
I shook my head.
"Radha Krishna are necessary for me." I mumbled softly.
"Yes. And why would you love him even after knowing his past?"
"His past?" I asked in slight confusion.
Ayesha paused and stared at me.
"You don't know anything about him?"
I shook my head and lowered my eyes in embarrassment.
"Fine... but don't tell him I told this all to you."
She said and forwarded another bite to me before locking the door of bedroom.
His past...
A thought gnawed at me.
what can it be that no one ever talks about him or his memories? infact no one even cares for him except Badi dadi...