(Aaron's POV)
Flashback
Sophomores and Shared Lockers
"Move your giant feet, Aaron, I can't even open the door," Liam grumbled, his shoulder pressing hard against mine as we fought for space in front of locker 412.
"Maybe if you didn't hoard three years' worth of gym socks in here, we'd both fit," I fired back, shoving him lightly.
Liam laughed, that familiar, booming sound vibrating right through my ribs. He leaned his weight into me, entirely unbothered by the lack of space, his face inches from mine as he reached for a textbook. I froze, my breath catching in my throat. I could smell the mint gum he'd been chewing and the faint scent of the laundry detergent his mom used.
We had been sharing a locker for two years now. Two years of me secretly holding my breath every time he leaned in close. Two years of pretending that my heart wasn't hammering like a trapped bird against my chest.
He grabbed his book, dropped his arm casually around my neck, and pulled me into a brief, suffocating headlock. "See you at lunch, man."
As he walked down the hall, tossing a casual wave over his shoulder, I leaned back against the cold metal of the locker. *Two years down,* I thought, pressing my palm against my chest to steady the rhythm. *Two years of keeping my mouth shut. Just two more to go.*
Juniors and Driving Lessons
"Break, Aaron! Break!" Liam screamed, gripping the passenger-side door handle of my mom's old sedan like his life depended on it.
I slammed on the brakes, sending us both jerking forward against our seatbelts. The car gasped to a halt a good three feet before the stop sign.
We sat there for a second in dead silence before Liam let out a breathless, dramatic sigh, slumping back into the fabric seat. "You're trying to kill me. I knew it. This is how it ends."
"You told me to turn left!" I yelled, my hands still gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles were white. But my heart wasn't racing because of the near-miss. It was racing because Liam's hand had reached over and clapped down on my thigh when he panicked. The skin beneath my jeans felt like it was on fire.
Liam looked over at me, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners as a slow grin broke across his face. "Okay, okay. My bad. You did fine. Mostly." He reached across the console, his fingers brushing against mine as he gently pried my hands off the wheel. "Relax, Aaron. I trust you."
He kept his hand over mine for a beat too long, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles in a gesture that was entirely platonic to him, but absolutely devastating to me.
*Three years.* Three years of being the safe choice, the best friend, the brother. I squeezed my eyes shut for a brief second, forcing the burning sensation behind my eyelids to retreat. "Yeah," I whispered, pulling my hand away to shift the car into drive. "I'm relaxed."
Seniors and the Silent Countdown
"I can't believe we're actually leaving this place," Liam murmured, his voice barely audible over the crackle of the small bonfire we'd built in the clearing of our old childhood woods.
It was the summer after graduation. In less than a month, we'd be packing our lives into separate cars, heading to colleges in different states.
"Yeah," I said, staring into the flickering orange flames. "End of an era."
Liam shifted on the log beside me, pulling his knees up to his chest. "Do you remember that stupid stick castle we built when we were kids? The one with the dandelion moat?"
"Of course I do." I looked over at him. The firelight played across his face, highlighting the sharp lines of his jaw, the dark curls that had finally grown out past his ears. He looked so grown up, so completely different from the boy on the playground, yet entirely the same.
"I'm gonna miss you, Aaron," he said softly, turning his head to look at me. His eyes were wide, completely open, and filled with a terrifyingly pure affection. "You're the only person who really gets me. I don't know what I'm gonna do without my true north."
My throat locked up. A wave of grief, so intense it made my physical chest ache, washed over me. *Four years.* For four years, I had edited every word, suppressed every sigh, and buried every single ounce of romantic longing under a mountain of loud laughter and exaggerated brotherhood. I had survived high school by convincing myself that keeping the secret was the only way to keep *him*.
Now, time was running out.
"You'll be fine," I managed to say, my voice cracking slightly. I reached out and punched his shoulder, forcing a weak smile. "You'll find some new castle to build."
Liam smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. He leaned sideways, resting his heavy shoulder against mine, staring back into the fire. I didn't pull away. For the last time in our shared history, under the expansive night sky that had witnessed our entire lives, I let myself just feel the warmth of him—holding the secret tight against my ribs, right where it belonged.
End of Flashback
Now that we're in college, he now belongs to Linna and I can't even do anything about it. All I could do is watch as my heart turned into pieces like a glass of plate being thrown down the floor intentionally.